The MTA Will Finally Chastise Men Whose Balls Need Three Seats

I have testicles, they're fairly sizeable (physically, not metaphorically), and they don't need a separate seat on the subway. In fact, no matter how big someone's balls are (again, speaking from a purely physical standpoint), they will never need an extra seat. Yet some men continue to sit on the train as though they… »11/18/14 5:45pm11/18/14 5:45pm

Bro Loses One Of His Balls During Fraternity Hazing

If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it? How about if everyone were letting the cool older fraternity brothers snap you in the balls with towels? For one hopeful member of Wilmington College's Gamma Phi Gamma chapter, the kind of peer pressure his mom probably warned him about resulted in him being down one… »11/07/13 3:20pm11/07/13 3:20pm

Book Claims JD Salinger's One Ball Drove Him to a Life of Seclusion

You can tell a lot about a man by his balls. If a man has two healthy balls, he's all robust and manly and world-take-over-y. If he has only one, he is a half-man, like the half man on Two and a Half Men. But rather than star on the world's shittiest television show, one famous one balled half man opted to withdraw… »9/04/13 7:15pm9/04/13 7:15pm

Testicle-Munching Fish Are Ruining Summer for Scandinavians

Summer is full of the sorts of hidden dangers that come with being drunk and out in the hot sun for longer than usual. You could fall asleep in a wading pool and be urinated upon by your neighbor’s dog. A shark could attack you while you’re flipping around on your boogie board like a dying seal. You could wear a… »8/11/13 4:00pm8/11/13 4:00pm

Stephen Colbert Invites Donald Trump to Gargle His Balls For Charity

After Donald Trump's much-hyped October Surprise turned out to be an offer of $5 million to the charity of President Obama's choice if only the Commander-in-Chief would release his college transcripts, college applications, and passport applications to Donald Trump's satisfaction, Stephen Colbert had his own… »10/25/12 12:00pm10/25/12 12:00pm

Eating Yogurt Turns Mice into Giant-Balled Seduction Machines

Oh my god. Can't we women just have one thing to ourselves without a pair of giant testicles swooping in and making it all about them? Last week I found out they're making push-up bras for your nutsack. Now it turns out that yogurt—our precious lady-nectar!—might make men's testicle-balls bigger, spermier, and covered… »5/07/12 2:20pm5/07/12 2:20pm

Mila Kunis & Justin Timberlake Discuss Embracing Marines' Balls

This morning on Today, while promoting Friends With Benefits, Mila and JT brought the testicular humor as they talked about the Marine Corps Ball. Mila declared, "Marines have a lot of balls." Justin agreed, "Marines got balls," and added, "we want to pay honor to our country and embrace their balls." Justin… »7/18/11 10:35am7/18/11 10:35am