Barack Obama Joined Twitter, and Now Twitter Wants To Fuck Him

President Obama joined Twitter today, and has amassed 1.1 million followers in the six hours since his first post. Though he has only tweeted three times since joining the social media platform, plenty of its 302 million active users have attempted to contact him via public replies. Many, I’ve discovered, have even… » 5/18/15 8:00pm Monday 8:00pm

Teen Tries to Take Pic With Bison, Gets Gored

A Taiwanese exchange student was on a trip to Yellowstone National Park with her host family when they spotted a bison next to their hiking trail. The 16-year-old girl had her back turned from the animal for a photo when it moved forward a couple of steps and gored her. Perhaps like Oprah, that bison felt it was about… » 5/17/15 6:10pm 5/17/15 6:10pm

Here Is Proof That Becky G & Austin Mahone Are in Love: Selfies

In case you missed the super-crucial young pop star news, Becky G and Austin Mahone are CONFIRMED to be dating, which is so cute I would near-puke if I didn’t feel so protective of my little sister (in my mind). Austin! Where are those wandering hands going! BRING HER HOME BY CURFEW! » 5/06/15 11:30pm 5/06/15 11:30pm

This Infamous 2010 'Douche Bag' Manual Ruled a Connecticut High School

Today, somebody sent an angel to our inbox: a once-infamous pick up artistry manual that made the rounds in one very special-sounding Connecticut high school several years back. But could teens in a Connecticut high school possibly know about sex? you might be asking yourself. The answer, both now and throughout the… » 5/05/15 9:10am 5/05/15 9:10am

I Went to a Simulated Teen Drinking Party and It Freaked Me the Fuck Out

I’m far from the target audience for the simulated teen drinking party I attended last weekend—that audience being freaked-out parents who want to see what really goes on at the hormone-fueled ragers their children are just starting to attend—but let me start by saying that the whole thing was very effective. I was… » 5/04/15 3:45pm 5/04/15 3:45pm

Townspeople Irritated Teen Girls Weren't Punished for Nude Photo Leak

Eight high school boys in Liberty, Missouri have been suspended for sharing nude photos of their female classmates on Instagram, Twitter, and in text messages. The 16 girls pictured in the photos weren’t suspended, just “verbally reprimanded,” according to Liberty Public Schools. This is becoming a huge controversy on… » 4/27/15 5:10pm 4/27/15 5:10pm

What's Harming the Children Today? A Dangerous List.

America’s Youths are unusually endangered today, with a variety of societal and environmental factors threatening to really wreck their shit. Take a few minutes, turn your chair around Cool Teacher-style, and make the children and teens in your life aware of the following threats. That is, if they’re at home and not… » 4/24/15 11:30am 4/24/15 11:30am

Very Dumb Teens Are Wounding Their Lips to Look Like Kylie Jenner 

Teens across the internet are bruising their faces in order to recreate Kylie Jenner’s obviously enhanced lips. The ill-advised #KylieJennerChallenge caught on with a small group of bored, improperly supervised youth who documented their disasters by posting traumatizing pictures on social media. » 4/20/15 7:00pm 4/20/15 7:00pm

Florida Teens Burglarize Homes, Steal Gold So They Can Make Grillz

You know that thing where you’re a kid and everyone’s like “Follow your dreams,” and then you get a little older and you’re like, “Dang, I will follow my dreams—all the way to a sweet grill,” and then you get a little bit older than that and realize the only way to really follow that particular dream is burglarize… » 4/17/15 12:50pm 4/17/15 12:50pm

Two White Girls Rap About Killing Black Boys and Try to Apologize

Two teenage white girls from Texas thought it would be a good idea to record themselves rapping a song that contained racist lyrics promoting violence against blacks, Latinos and Asians. The song starts off with one girl spewing the N-word, followed by “I want to kill them now, I want to hang them from a tree.” The… » 4/16/15 9:00pm 4/16/15 9:00pm