The 10 Best And 10 Worst Science Fiction And Fantasy Movies Of 2014

This was a weird year for movies. The box office was weak, but also, most films didn't deserve love or hate. They were just... okay. But the genre movies that did stand out were either brilliant experiments, or horrible misfires. Here are the 10 best and 10 worst science fiction and fantasy movies of 2014. » 12/17/14 3:07pm 12/17/14 3:07pm

Pugs Doing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Is Cinema Art

Did you happen to catch Michael Bay's beautifully horrible Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie this weekend? It managed to make around $65 million this weekend, despite the fact that I didn't get around to seeing it. But I have seen the oh-so-spectacular all-pug version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of… » 8/11/14 10:30pm 8/11/14 10:30pm

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The new weird CGI-fest version of the TMNT movie comes out this weekend, making it the perfect time to reflect on ye TMNT of olde. And the most important question of all: Which reptile is the most fuckable? Written last year, but still incredibly apropos, we revisit: Fuck, Marry Kill: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… » 8/08/14 4:39pm 8/08/14 4:39pm

Megan Fox To TMNT Haters: If They Don't Love It, They Can Fuck Off

It doesn't exactly take an expert movie critic to see that, the C4-rigged tidal wave that is the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looks a goddamn mess. The movie has yet to be released and is already putting up with its fair share of grade A Haterade that not even halfassed Wu Tang references can… » 8/02/14 5:52pm 8/02/14 5:52pm

Megan Fox Says 'A Lot of Girl Power' Was Cut from TMNT

In a recent interview regarding Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — a movie about large, sewer-dwelling, sentient turtles who eat pizza in which she plays a human woman — Megan Fox says that some of her more badass moments ended up in the cutting room floor. » 7/25/14 4:30pm 7/25/14 4:30pm

Let These Kids Talking About TMNT Make You Feel Old

Are you an adult person struggling with the challenges of explaining to young people how all the things they are obsessed with stemmed from old, shitty things you barely cared about? Then don't watch this video because it will probably give you hives and I don't want to be responsible for your therapy bills. » 7/24/14 3:20pm 7/24/14 3:20pm

The Cast of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Is Almost Entirely White

With the news that William Fichtner will play Shredder, that rounds out an almost entirely white cast in the Michael Bay-produced, Jonathan Liebesman-directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Perhaps the most offensive casting is the awesomely impossible-to-kill Shredder, whose alter ego is Oroku Saki, and has always… » 6/24/13 10:30pm 6/24/13 10:30pm

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Friends, we live in a dark, uncertain world. War, famine, prejudice, disease—sometimes the swirling tide of confusion is so strong that we fear we may be washed away entirely. And that's why Jezebel is passionately committed to chipping away at life's toughest and most overwhelming questions. Why are we here? Who, in… » 3/22/13 4:00pm 3/22/13 4:00pm

Let's Send Pizza to People Waiting in Long Lines to Vote

There are people — Americans! — who are currently attempting to vote for President. Unfortunately, the lines are DMV long, there aren't enough voting machines in Ohio (thanks, John Husted, ya jagoff!), and it's very cold and boring to stand in line. To remedy this and keep people's spirits up, why not send those on… » 11/06/12 7:15pm 11/06/12 7:15pm

Why Not Turn A Celebrity's Nose Into A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

Ever wonder what your favorite celebrity's nose would look like if it were to dress up like a Ninja Turtle for Halloween? Welcome to Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses, a site completely filled with photos of famous people with TMNT noses drawn on them. This, as they say, is exactly why the internet was invented. » 10/18/11 3:30pm 10/18/11 3:30pm

The Evolution Of April O'Neil

When I was a child, I and the other latchkey kids played long games of Imagination on the playground. The games would last for days or even weeks, all these arcing time/space operas with good guys, villains, damsels, and shopkeepers. » 4/22/11 6:00pm 4/22/11 6:00pm

Barbara Likes Talking Marriage With Mo'Nique, Hates Mutant Turtles

While shamelessly plugging her final Oscars special on GMA, Barbara Walters showed a clip of Mo'Nique discussing her open marriage and named her worst interviewees. It's not like she'll interview them again (barring a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comeback). » 3/05/10 1:00pm 3/05/10 1:00pm