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Here's What Happens When You Try and Track Down a Ted Cruz College Rumor

Is there anything people wouldn’t believe about Ted Cruz? A few months ago, someone sent Jezebel a tip about the rising Republican presidential candidate’s days as a Princeton undergraduate. It was a story that seemed both unlikely and physiologically improbable, but I figured I might as well ask around, just in case.

Rumor: Heidi Cruz Is So Repulsed by Iowans She Has to Shower Multiple Times a Day

In preparation for tonight’s caucuses, Ted Cruz has spent nearly three-quarters of the past month campaigning in Iowa. That means his darling wife, Heidi Cruz, has also had to spend a lot of time in Iowa. And according to a source familiar with the Cruz family, Iowa is Heidi Cruz’s own living hell.

Every Candidate’s Impossible First-Day Agendas, Ranked

With the Iowa caucuses officially kicking off primary voting season, it won’t be long before a brand new butt is working a fresh groove into Obama’s old chair. In preparation, our various candidates are already hard at work making wild schedules for their first day on the job. And each one is more impossible than the…

As an Attorney, Death Penalty Enthusiast Ted Cruz Really Loved Describing Brutal Crimes 

Texas Senator and presidential candidate Ted Cruz has never exactly hidden his passion for the death penalty—it’s a love that speaks its name over and over whenever he talks in public. As the New York Times lays out today, his passion took a somewhat more unseemly form when he was a Supreme Court Clerk, where he…

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Pour Yourself a Stiff Drink, Here’s Your Open Thread for 2016’s First GOP Debate

Gather ‘round everyone, it’s the first Republican presidential debate of 2016! Taking place in Charleston, South Carolina, this debate — the SIXTH one we’ve had to endure — will feature the lowest amount of candidates on the stage thus far. Since Carly Fiorina and Rand Paul were bumped down to the earlier undercard…

Ted Cruz the Only Person Alive Who Is Totally Fine With Being Wario

Between issuing some very insightful statements on President Obama’s executive action on gun control (“When you live by the pen, you die by the pen. And my pen’s got an eraser”) and tweeting clever Photoshops of Obama with a fancy crown on his head, Ted Cruz took a moment to be totally not mad online about BuzzFeed’s…