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William Shatner Says It's 'Silly' to Call Captain Kirk a Republican

During a recent interview with The New York Times, presidential candidate (and noted butter lover) Ted Cruz revealed that he’s a big fan of Star Trek, going as far as to speculate that Captain Kirk—as a “working class,” “passionate fighter for justice”—is a Republican. William Shatner has since weighed in and does not… » 7/24/15 12:30pm 7/24/15 12:30pm

How to Tell the Difference Between All the Dudes Running for President

Now that 7,000 American men and several drunk farm animals have officially declared their candidacies for President, keeping track of them has never been more confusing or difficult. Luckily, we’ve put together a “cheat sheet” with “quick trivia” to help the political layperson discuss with confidence the nuances of… » 7/22/15 1:45pm 7/22/15 1:45pm

Loretta Lynch Confirmed as Attorney General After Embarrassing Delay

By a vote of 56-43, Loretta Lynch was confirmed as Attorney General of the United States on Thursday afternoon. It took the do-nothings in the Senate more than five months to take their thumbs out of their asses and stop swordfighting with their proverbial dicks for long enough to take care of this simple task. » 4/23/15 2:45pm 4/23/15 2:45pm

Well, It's Time to Play FMK with the Republican Presidential Hopefuls

Now that Rand Paul has announced his Presidential candidacy, joining firstie candidate-in-name-only Ted Cruz and the inevitable-but-formally-unannounced Jeb Bush (sorry: “Heb Boosh”), it is officially the season of Republican conjecture. And, for a woman who would only vote Republican at gunpoint, there is only one… » 4/07/15 1:10pm 4/07/15 1:10pm

Jindal 'Not For Discrimination' But Supports Ban On Same-Sex Marriage 

What if the US Supreme Court rules that gay marriage must be legal in all states? Well, Sunday morning Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal went on ABC's "This Week" and told host George Stephanopoulos that if that should that happen he supports a constitutional amendment that would let state legislatures outlaw same-sex… » 1/25/15 3:45pm 1/25/15 3:45pm

Houston's Lesbian Mayor Is Getting Flooded With Protest Bibles

Houston mayor Annise Parker has been sent between 500 and 1,000 Bibles at her home, part of a bizarre protest effort orchestrated by Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz, and with enthusiastic support from Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity. That quartet of geniuses claims that Parker, Houston's first openly gay mayor, is spearheading… » 10/29/14 12:50pm 10/29/14 12:50pm

The Incredibly Pointless Government Shutdown Is About to End

Despite the best efforts of Ted Cruz and Tea Party fun bunch, the government shutdown will likely end this evening. Leaders in the Senate will soon vote on a deal that, if passed and put on the desk of President Obama by midnight tonight, will both end the shutdown and raise the debt ceiling by its October 17th… » 10/16/13 5:40pm 10/16/13 5:40pm

GOP’s New Strategy to Attract Voters? More Abortion Restrictions, Duh!

Okay, so let’s say you’ve slipped momentarily into the lizard-skin of a GOP politician. How are you going to attract young, non-white voters to your party in the ashes of a Mitt Romney campaign that burned faster than a pile of autumn leaves soaked in butane? Well, if you’re listening to the advice of Jason… » 7/28/13 5:30pm 7/28/13 5:30pm