New Educational Standards Teach Kids That History Contained One Woman

New York State's Department of Education recently published the state's new, improved educational standards designed to guide the minds of The Next Generation into a great Sea Of Fact-Knowing so that they may Succeed in the World of Tomorrow (or, you know, in practical terms, the Shit They Will Be Tested On Before… » 3/24/14 1:50pm 3/24/14 1:50pm

The GZA Teaches High School Kids to Embrace Science

At New York's Park East High School, they're experimenting with new ways to teach students about science. How do you talk to kids? You rap to them! In this pilot program started by Dr. Chris Emdin of Columbia University's Teachers College, ninth graders are learning about the reproductive system by writing rhymes and… » 3/31/13 10:30pm 3/31/13 10:30pm

Special-Ed Teacher Fired for Using School Gmail To Respond To…

A (super-ripped) P.S. 183 special-ed teacher named Matthew Maleski, who'd clocked in just over a year at the school, has been fired for responding to Craigslist hook-up ads from a Gmail account that he shared with another teacher, reports NYDN. The other teacher informed Principal Tara Napoleoni of Maleski's… » 3/09/13 3:00pm 3/09/13 3:00pm

America's Oldest Teacher Does It For the Kids

Agnes Zhelesnik started her teaching career when she was 82 years old. She just turned 99, and CNN reports that over the last 17 years, she's had a "huge impact" on her students' lives. Ms Zhelesnik — affectionately called "Granny" at school, teaches cooking, sewing and costume-making. Her daughter, a 69-year-old … » 1/17/13 6:40pm 1/17/13 6:40pm

Groundbreaking New Research Suggests That Teachers Sometimes Let…

New research (British research, so you know it's extra dignified and erudite) suggests that teachers are not the soulless, dispassionate grading androids we once believed them to be — sometimes, they let they can allow their "personal feelings" or "bias" about a particular student influence that student's grade. Maybe… » 1/06/13 2:00pm 1/06/13 2:00pm

Giving Teachers Guns? There's No Way This Could End Badly!

After the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, it stood to reason that perpetually underpaid, overworked, and shat upon teachers in other parts of the country might try to imagine what they'd do if a similar situation arose in their workplaces. In some places, they're reviewing safety… » 12/28/12 5:10pm 12/28/12 5:10pm

This Dance-Off Between Students and School Administrator is the Best…

In a scene we can only imagine was deleted from the remake of Footloose, a high school kid challenges a school administrator to a motherfucking DANCE OFF. At least, that's what I think is happening, he might also be running from a mouse? Either way, it's pretty much the funniest, sweetest, and weirdest thing we've… » 10/24/12 9:00pm 10/24/12 9:00pm

School Teacher Allegedly Forced 5-Year-Old Girl to Eat Garbage

When a 5-year-old student at a New Jersey elementary school threw away her uneaten bagel, one enterprising teacher took matters into her own hands. Now, back in my day, the punishment for not eating your food was not getting to have any fucking food. But, clearly, this particular teacher is a special snowflake with… » 10/17/12 10:50am 10/17/12 10:50am

Being a Teacher in China Sounds a Little Like Being in the Mafia

It may seem sometimes like America treats its teachers like emulsified shit, which is why it may also seem impossible to imagine a world in which teachers are so well-respected, they're bribed like mafia dons with cash and designer handbags, a world in which parents defer to teachers, a world in which teachers are… » 9/20/12 10:20am 9/20/12 10:20am

Is a Pervy High School Teacher Posting 'Sexy' Underage Students' Photos…

Sometimes it's hard to muster the energy to get outraged about every truly awful thing that happens in this crap rainstorm we call life. But other times, something comes along that's so bad, so egregious, that it renews my faith in my ability to be disgusted by things. Today's outrage-restorer: the curious case of the… » 9/19/12 4:05pm 9/19/12 4:05pm

Looks Like School’s Out for at Least a Few More Days in Chicago

After a week of staring directly into Mayor Rahm Emanuel's soulless, inkwell eyes, the Chicago teachers union has resisted the tempting urge to blink and will wade into the second week of its strike. Schools will stay shuttered come Monday morning after union delegates declined to formally vote on contract settlements… » 9/16/12 10:45pm 9/16/12 10:45pm