Famously tangerine-faced House Speaker John Boehner doesn't live in Washington year-round; he rents. And his landlord is a lobbyist for a tanning bed company because God loves you very, very much and wants you to have a joyous holiday season of rueful ironic chortling. » 12/18/13 1:45pm 12/18/13 1:45pm

Ted Yoho is a former large animal veterinarian from Florida who doesn't understand what racism is. That alone does not make Ted Yoho interesting. What makes Ted Yoho interesting is the fact that he is a United States Congressman who doesn't understand what racism is, to the extent that he believes a tax on tanning beds … » 8/06/13 1:50pm 8/06/13 1:50pm

The FDA wants to warn kids about the dangers of tanning. Which is a big fucking deal because those yahoos are so far behind the times that they still aren't certain what gluten-free means. (I know, my grandma's been off wheat for years now, too.) » 5/07/13 10:50am 5/07/13 10:50am

Last week, a woman walked into an Ohio tanning salon, took a tour, received one tanning session, then purchased a $70 tanning package. But when she returned to Aloha Tanning the next day to tan some more, she was told that they'd changed their policy overnight and she was suddenly too fat to tan. » 4/23/13 9:30am 4/23/13 9:30am

When I was a senior in high school, my parents and I took a trip to Samoa to visit my uncle. In preparation, because I am essentially a cave salamander, my mom forced me to go to a tanning salon and get a "base" so that I wouldn't crisp like a tater-tot in the South Pacific sun. I crisped anyway, of course (this raw… » 2/25/13 4:00pm 2/25/13 4:00pm

Tanning beds are awesome and full of life-blasting vitamins, whereas doctors are stupid, maybe even villainously stupid and need to be stopped from telling people who want only to lay their tired heads down on a bed of synthetic sunshine that tanning salons are not the second-best places in the Solar System (the first… » 8/24/12 12:45pm 8/24/12 12:45pm

Guys. Is Tan Mom drunk? Is she slurring a little? And what is she talking about?
"Everything is dangerous."
"I tan, a rela — you know — one, once in a, three, four times a week. It's my relaxation."
"Any mother that says something or doesn't even know me… They don't have children."
"It's a blush."
"I don't sit in tanning… » 5/04/12 12:45pm 5/04/12 12:45pm

44-year-old Patricia Krentcil was arrested and charged with child endangerment after her 5-year-old daughter was spotted at school with a sunburn. Apparently the little girl told classmates she "went tanning with Mommy." But Krentcil insists that the kid wasn't in the tanning booth: » 5/02/12 10:20am 5/02/12 10:20am

It seems pretty obvious that unless you're part of a certain subculture that shall remain nameless, you'll be less likley to lay out in the sun or use a tanning bed after you've applied sunless tanning lotion. Of course, researchers needed to conduct a survey to confirm this, and while the results aren't earth… » 12/19/11 10:43pm 12/19/11 10:43pm

You have to feel bad for Katy Perry. All she wanted to do was create generic pop musical about a magical land where ladies sport Daisy Dukes and shoot whipped cream out of their boobs, but now she's getting flak for promoting a soon-to-be illegal practice. Though she lists "sun-kissed skin" as one of the main attributes… » 10/10/11 11:05am 10/10/11 11:05am