White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, a gum-horking obfuscator of Irish descent, is under a tremendous amount of pressure lately. Some of that pressure is showing up on his face, which appears to be turning a familiar shade of orange.
Indoor tanning, favored by the likes of Tan Mom and New Jersey housewife/convicted criminal Teresa Giudice, has never been known for being safe. But, as more states are making it illegal for those under 18 to partake in the practice, itās becoming evident that some teens are going to keep tanning no matter what.
Tanning beds are terrible for you, a means of paying to drastically increase your skin cancer risk. The CDC disapproves, and so does the surgeon general. Seriously, they are dumb and terrible. And yet, according to a new study, they're alarmingly common on college campuses. What, because college was too healthy?
A Portland, Oregon nanny was arrested after she left two small children locked in a car while she went to a tanning salon.
Famously tangerine-faced House Speaker John Boehner doesn't live in Washington year-round; he rents. And his landlord is a lobbyist for a tanning bed company because God loves you very, very much and wants you to have a joyous holiday season of rueful ironic chortling.
Yesterday, we brought you one of the most ill-advised ads for a tanning salon ever (as though tanning could get any more gauche), a tacky, racist mess that featured a white lady in a "Sexy Indian" Halloween costume along with copy that read "The Indians brought more than just 'CORN' to the first Thanksgiving... theyā¦
In honor of Thanksgiving, a chain of tanning salons in Alabama and Florida has launched a holiday-themed ad campaign that is both offensively stupid and stupidly offensive. "The Indians brought more than just 'CORN' to the first Thanksgiving," reads the copy, "they brought SEXY 'COLOR'!" Ugh, the unnecessaryā¦
Bronzers and other gooey, UV-free artificial tanners may help the porcelain-hued citizens of the world achieve that sun-burnished quality so desirable by todayās aesthetics, but such tanners will also turn everyone who uses them into giant, weeping puddle monsters that seep through sheets and ruin perfectly adequateā¦
Ted Yoho is a former large animal veterinarian from Florida who doesn't understand what racism is. That alone does not make Ted Yoho interesting. What makes Ted Yoho interesting is the fact that he is a United States Congressman who doesn't understand what racism is, to the extent that he believes a tax on tanningā¦
In case you hadn't figured it out already, tanning is addicting. So addicting, in fact, that one in seven tanners diagnosed with skin cancer go back to tanning even after their diagnosis. The endorphins released by skin cells after exposure to UV light make many people who tan dependent on getting into the ole' UVā¦
The FDA wants to warn kids about the dangers of tanning. Which is a big fucking deal because those yahoos are so far behind the times that they still aren't certain what gluten-free means. (I know, my grandma's been off wheat for years now, too.)
Last week, a woman walked into an Ohio tanning salon, took a tour, received one tanning session, then purchased a $70 tanning package. But when she returned to Aloha Tanning the next day to tan some more, she was told that they'd changed their policy overnight and she was suddenly too fat to tan.
There are lots of causes we could argue are worth dying for: saving a life, freedom, maybe even religious martyrdom or something epic like that. Having ābronzed, sun-kissedā skin is not one of them. Not even Coco Chanel would argue with that, though she is credited with starting the Western trend of white womenā¦
Bad news for tweens and high-school kids hoping to be dark like Snooki and The Gang: Yesterday, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie signed a bill banning those under the age of 17 from using commercial tanning beds.
Good news for Patricia Krentcil: a grand jury has declined to indict her on second-degree child endangerment charges.
When I was a senior in high school, my parents and I took a trip to Samoa to visit my uncle. In preparation, because I am essentially a cave salamander, my mom forced me to go to a tanning salon and get a "base" so that I wouldn't crisp like a tater-tot in the South Pacific sun. I crisped anyway, of course (this rawā¦
Tanning beds are awesome and full of life-blasting vitamins, whereas doctors are stupid, maybe even villainously stupid and need to be stopped from telling people who want only to lay their tired heads down on a bed of synthetic sunshine that tanning salons are not the second-best places in the Solar System (the firstā¦
When we last saw Tan Mom, she was telling us that if we didn't like her, it's because we are jealous, fat and ugly. Now, Tan Mom ā aka Patricia Krentcil ā is in the latest issue of In Touch, with an announcement: She has accepted the mag's challenge to stay out of UV rays ā real and artificial ā for an entire month.ā¦
Guys. Is Tan Mom drunk? Is she slurring a little? And what is she talking about?
"Everything is dangerous."
"I tan, a rela ā you know ā one, once in a, three, four times a week. It's my relaxation."
"Any mother that says something or doesn't even know meā¦ They don't have children."
"It's a blush."
"I don't sit inā¦
