All the Crazy Royal Baby Rumors, Ranked 

Whenever the latest royal spawn emerges from the royal womb, one of my favorite news cycles will draw to a close. I don’t care about the breathless baby outfit reporting, or the high-end amenities at the Lindo wing. No, it’s the batshit crazy rumors and tabloid reports and scurrilous online nonsense that’ve made the… » 4/27/15 12:10pm 4/27/15 12:10pm

This Week In Tabloids: Sofia Vergara's On An Embryo-Destroying Rampage

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we fly to Los Angeles, rent a car at LAX, drive to Calabasas to find those salads the Kardashians are always eating, have one for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, drive back to LAX, and fly home. This week: Bruce will hate Kris for the rest of time, one busy man impregnated… » 4/15/15 3:30pm 4/15/15 3:30pm

This Week In Tabloids: Rihanna Says Leo Is 'The Best She's Ever Had'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we open our tiny beaks as one to accept a regurgitated gluten-free salad of Lisa Rinna's discarded saline injections. This week: Amal and George are DUNZO YOU GUYS, Scott dumped Kourtney for booze & pills, K-Stew is settling into a "funky" lesbian lifestyle with her future wife, two… » 1/21/15 5:10pm 1/21/15 5:10pm

Kris Jenner Goes HAM On InTouch Over Transphobic Bruce Jenner Cover

Sound The Alarm: "Kris (Jenner) has cut off contact with In Touch, Life & Style and all Bauer publications" in light of the recent Bruce Jenner-reimagined-as-Stephanie-Beacham-from-Dynasty cover controversy, a source informed the New York Daily News. THIS IS WAR, Kris bellowed at an unnaturally high pitch for a woman… » 1/16/15 11:15am 1/16/15 11:15am

This Week In Tabloids: Bruce Jenner Photoshopped Into Contoured Lady

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we frantically shovel the crumpled up pages of inTouch, OK!, Life & Style, Star, and Us Weekly into our gaping food-holes until, ink-stained and up-to-date on human stuff, we are sated. This week: InTouch grabbed some pals of Bruce Jenner to crowdsource a photoshopped image of what he… » 1/14/15 4:40pm 1/14/15 4:40pm

This Week in Tabloids: The Queen to Kate: 'Bitch Y Aren't U Fat Yet'

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a monkey who lives behind a dive bar in a tourist town in Costa Rica makes a Zen garden out of cigarette ash in the parking lot and rakes it back and forth very slowly until he dies. This week, Pitbull tryna get it in with J.Lo, Scarlett Johansson likes to have sex in cars, Scott… » 1/07/15 4:20pm 1/07/15 4:20pm

This Week in Tabloids: Taylor Swift & Karlie Kloss in Super Sexy Love

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a goat wearing novelty sunglasses climbs to the top of the Empire State Building and whispers "CELEBRITY" before plummeting down to the ground. This week, Miley Cyrus made her wedding rings out of rolling papers; Kendall Jenner is getting ready to play The Most Dangerous Game;… » 12/17/14 3:45pm 12/17/14 3:45pm

This Week In Tabloids: Ariana Grande Makes Staff Carry Her Like a Baby

In this week's Midweek Madness, Angelina Jolie is in love with someone who is not Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston is reaching out, Miley Cyrus is pregnant with a Kennedy baby and/or the coke bloats and Justin Bieber's former pet monkey is not in a forgiving mood. Onward and downward, chums! Straight into the fiery pits… » 12/10/14 3:50pm 12/10/14 3:50pm

This Week In Tabloids: Miley's Coke Parties Have Offended the Kennedys

Welcome back to Midweek Madness where each week we dip a toe into the shit pool known as Hollywood! Today, Kim and Kanye are headed towards ruin, Channing Tatum is trying to Magic Mike his way into another baby and Kate Middleton has exposed herself as a psychic and possible Grand Supreme. Cut with the hesitation,… » 12/03/14 5:10pm 12/03/14 5:10pm

This Week in Tabloids: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles Are BFFLs Again

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which a small blue choo-choo train gets halfway to Los Angeles and is like, "You know, I'd rather not." This week, Kim Kardashian's ass is as wide as 9 Big Macs, JLaw worries that someone's going to leak a sex tape, and Amanda Seyfried's dog won't stop taking dumps. » 11/19/14 4:30pm 11/19/14 4:30pm

This Week in Tabloids: Rihanna Is #1 on Cara Delevingne’s Fuck List

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which we line up our collective fantasies like so many bowling pins and roll a heavy ball of disappointment down the alley at the end of the world. I'm your host, a sleepy Pomeranian, and I urge you to join me this week, in which Amanda Bynes is living off gift cards, North West is on a… » 11/12/14 3:30pm 11/12/14 3:30pm

This Week in Tabloids: Is Lionel Richie Khloe Kardashian's Real Father?

Welcome to Midweek Madness, in which you and I take our mortal clay to the Lord's pottery wheel and gently shape a glittery turd to pass back and forth between our butts forever. This week, Ariana Grande refuses to shower after the gym; Lionel Richie created Khloe Kardashian out of his very own sperm-buddies;… » 10/15/14 4:10pm 10/15/14 4:10pm

This Week's Tabloids Were the Worst of the Year

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we wearily turn the pages of Star, Us Weekly, OK!, Life & Style and InTouch in an attempt to glean some knowledge. This week was so bad: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are "getting divorced," Jennifer Aniston is pregnant again and every tabloid is filled with really boring… » 9/03/14 4:20pm 9/03/14 4:20pm

This Week in Tabloids: InTouch Runs Truly Vile Robin Williams Article

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which in which we take a mental vacation to the land of celebrity gossip, via the pages of Star, Us Weekly, OK!, Life & Style and InTouch. This week: InTouch wrote a disgusting and disgraceful article in which they fabricated Robin Williams' suicide notes; OK! put the phrase "Kim:… » 8/13/14 4:10pm 8/13/14 4:10pm