I am here to dispel a longstanding lie, promulgated by numerous fairy tales and also boats designed to romantically convey couples around small ponds. That lie is that swans are anything other than vicious, bad-natured motherfuckers who will kill you just as soon as look at you.
The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that…
Anthony Hensley, a 37-year-old married father of two young daughters, drowned on Sunday in a Des Plaines area pond after the swans he cared for apparently flipped his kayak over, a terrifying incident proving that fate's sense of irony is getting really morbid.
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