CDC Confirms That It's the Pee in the Pool That Makes Your Eyes Red

With swimsuit season finally here, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have decided to brighten your summer by releasing an important new report which confirms that yes, your gross red swimmer’s eyes are caused by the large amounts of pee in the pool and not by chlorine as previously thought. » 6/24/15 3:15pm 6/24/15 3:15pm

How to Get Shitfaced This Summer (But Not Too Shitfaced)

It’s summer. You’re going to some festivals. You’ll be outside, at bars with patios, drinking. If you’re most people, no one ever told you how to drink well or right. Hey, no one told us. More often, people told us not to drink—ever—because it’s bad. But preaching booze abstinence works about as well as sex… » 6/17/15 2:50pm 6/17/15 2:50pm

Why Am I Not Wearing This Kaftan Right Now

It’s barely summer in the Western hemisphere and designers have already been showing their Resort 2016 collections, a perennial happening indicative of fashion’s exhausting churn and demand for new designs to stay afloat. First comes Resort, then there’s Pre-Fall, then there’s Mid-Pre-Fall, then there’s… » 6/12/15 5:50pm 6/12/15 5:50pm

Fuck Your Air Conditioner, Ceiling Fans Forever

It’s a cool 60 degrees in New York City right now, but in a few weeks time, we—along with the rest of the U.S.—will likely be experiencing the dead heat of summer. Here, that means sweating through your clothes while waiting for the M train, constantly inhaling the weighty stink of garbage, and listening to the city’s… » 6/05/15 2:50pm 6/05/15 2:50pm

Grow Your Pit Hair Like Lena: Realistic Goals For an Actually Fun Summer

We’re less than a month out from official summer, which wafts into our lives on June 21—and it’s never a bad idea to come up with an action plan. You’re a grown woman; do some stuff. And if you need help getting started, do what I do and look to a famous person. This year, it’s Lena Dunham, who recently posted a… » 5/27/15 1:50pm 5/27/15 1:50pm

What's the Best Fan?

In short order everyone will transition from complaining about how cold it is to complaining about how hot it is, especially me. A fan is a great thing to have around to supplement your air conditioning, or depending on the temperature, protect your electric bill from your A/C unit getting run at all. But which fan is… » 4/27/15 3:46pm 4/27/15 3:46pm