Extremely Mean Phone-Robot Siri Doesn't Want You to Kill Yourself

Like most everyone in possession of an iPhone, I have a very contentious relationship with Siri: she never tells me jokes, she refuses to learn my name, and she's often extremely judgmental of me ("I'm sorry, I don't have any results for 'goat tree'. Would you like me to Google it?" she will often say in a dismissive,… » 6/20/13 11:45am 6/20/13 11:45am