Barbie continues her march toward the dustbin of cultural history, sure, but that doesn't mean there's no more cash to be made off your childhood. For instance: A company is betting it can revitalize '80s mainstay Strawberry Shortcake, of all things.
We already knew Strawberry Shortcake was a sexy goner, but — et tu, Tinkerbell? In this brave new world, every childhood icon is lissome and dressed in tight jeans. And when she's not? Well, let's just say these fairies must have a good waxer. We're not even going to talk about the sexy horse. See the whole gallery …
On the occasion of Shortcake's 30th birthday, Jeanne Sager over at CafeMom makes a strong case for the sweetly-scented patch-dweller as a champion of diversity.
First they came for Strawberry Shortcake and we said nothing. Then they came for the Care Bears and we said nothing. But now they've come for Rainbow Brite, and this means war.
The news that 80's video game Asteroids will soon be made into a major motion picture got me thinking: why aren't there any action films based on 80s toys primarily aimed at girls? A few suggestions, after the jump.And as for the film? Well, that's .
- We were shocked and appalled to discover that Strawberry Shortcake had been given a berry slutty makeover by her corporate overlords.
- As much as we love the Shortcake, she'd make a really dumb, potentially deal-breaking tattoo.
- This week was mad girly, yo: Omg Unicorns!
- Also, Panda Sex!
- Almost as embarrassing as catching…
Experts calculate that the total cost of Strawberry Shortcake's new look, including facelift, eyelift, nose job and freckle removal, would top $23,000! "Between the hair, the eyes, clothes and nose," observes a plastic surgeon, "Shortcake's new look is much too extreme for real life because it's so obvious, like that…
As a grown woman who had every intention of dressing as Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween (my boyfriend was going to be the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak), I am furious at American Greetings Properties' decision to give Shortcake a "fruit-forward" makeover. As part of a growing toy-industry trend (Care…