Abercrombie Declares 'Unnatural' Hairstyles Like, Totally Unacceptable

Last week, Abercrombie announced to its army of cologne-encrusted employees a new crackdown in the company's oft ridiculed appearance guidelines. Gone are the days of creative coiffage, of chunky highlights and ombres; now any and all haircuts and styles must appear "natural" or else you run the risk of getting… » 9/05/13 2:15pm 9/05/13 2:15pm

Stores May Now Know Too Much About Their Customers’ Fifty Shades

According to Uproxx, this Fifty Shades of Grey masturbating kiosk is located in a Sainsbury's, which is a chain of supermarkets in the U.K. that apparently specializes in dirty books and special vibrator batteries. Oh, and those shortbread cookies that are so maddeningly delicious. This display should remind everyone… » 8/07/12 10:25pm 8/07/12 10:25pm

Woman Arrested After Turning Wal-Mart Into Meth Lab


A woman's attempt to turn her local Wal-Mart into a makeshift meth lab ran afoul of the law after spending six hours unsuccessfully trying to concoct crystal meth in the store. This is the best store related illicit multitasking since Horne's Department Store recruited perfume counter employees for prostitution work… » 12/09/11 5:50pm 12/09/11 5:50pm

Expert Confirms That Shoppers Hate Holiday Bullshit

Nancy Puccinelli of Oxford University's Saïd Business School confirms what anybody who has been to a mall in the past ten years can tell you: excessive decorations, intrusive music, and "enforced holiday cheer" are obnoxious and grating. She says, "We know from studies of consumer behavior that moderation in festive… » 12/07/11 2:00pm 12/07/11 2:00pm

Closet Cases: Returning Clothes Is Traumatic

Once I was at a store during a very busy after-Christmas sale. "If I buy this dress for my baby shower in three months and then it doesn't fit, can I return it?" one shopper asked a salesman. No, he said; sales were final. The shopper looked at him like he was crazy. "But I'm pregnant » 11/14/08 3:30pm 11/14/08 3:30pm," she said, as if to a simpleton.…