A little dingleberry hanging from the butt of humanity named Justin Bieber peed in a restaurant mop bucket in New York earlier this year because he is an ingrate, and there's a video. As previously evidenced by shenanigans at that Vegas indoor skydiving place, El Beebo and his posse continuously target the employees…

I guess one could pooh-pooh Angelina Jolie's commitment international philanthropy by saying, "Well, she has a million billion dollars—she can AFFORD to fly all over the world collecting babies and speaking warmly with overlooked refugees. I would do that too, except I only have $40." And yeah yeah, big guy, maybe…

As if Lindsay Lohan smacking a woman at a nightclub after a Justin Bieber concert over some dude from a band called The Wanted didn't already sound like a demented Canterbury Tale written in glitter pen ("Lindsay got drunker and drunker… and it turned Max [George] off"), there is now a whole new dimension of…

We already informed you of the upcoming Pitt/Jolie vs. Theroux/Aniston matrimonial potato-sack race late last night, but figured it was news worth repeating.

Alec Baldwin married 28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thompson in a New York City church today, and nothing was wrong unless you count the presence of Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn. Here's hoping Baldwin's new wife will lead him in a few sun salutations every morning to stop him from buying a one-way ticket to The…

Well, this is weird. Apparently the second-least-famous Baldwin, Stephen, is suing noted Wolfdancer Kevin Costner—but, strangely, not for oily soul-patch infringement. Baldwin alleges that Costner screwed him "out of a deal Costner sealed to sell oil-separation machines to BP." You might remember that a few years back…

• Taylor Momsen and her band were playing a show in Scotland when she said something the crowd found rather offensive.

Nigel looks fine; Ugo Monye looks amazing. But Stephen Baldwin? It's like a cruel booby trap.

A new website called, "The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin," claims that Stephen is out of work and bankrupt because he's being persecuted for his Christianity. Luckily, he can be rehabilitated — if each of us sends him $4.21.

• Stephen Baldwin told a reporter at CPAC, "I am not happy about the way things are. I pray for President Obama every single day. But tell you what. Homey made this bed, now he has got to lay in it."

• Hailey Glassman says her love affair with Jon Gosselin is filled with laughter, home cooked dinners and romantic games of ping pong, but, "If you had told me a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed you."

• Morgan Freeman is planning to marry his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E'Dena Hines, who he raised since she was a child... if you believe The National Enquirer.

• The police were called to Lindsay Lohan's home at about 4 a.m. yesterday after her neighbors complained that she was playing loud music. She was ticketed for being excessively noisy. [TMZ]

On last night's I'm a Celebrity…, Janice told Stephen Baldwin about a nightmare she had; Stephen interpreted it as proof that Janice's subconscious needs to be saved by Jesus. She cried, saying, "I don't want to be who I am."

• Spencer Pratt says that when he did the Today show, he thought that Al Roker was a "fan" "off the street." And! Heidi Montag's command for Al Roker?

• Miley Cyrus, America's favorite daughter of a once-mulleted country singer, has—gasp!—pierced her nose. Shock me shock me shock me with that actually pretty typical and normal for a sixteen year old behavior! [People]

• Adam Lambert put an end to the speculation about his sexuality by going out to a nightclub last night with his boyfriend Drake LaBry. The two held hands and occasionally kissed.

• A source says Lindsay Lohan is temporarily staying in a "therapeutic environment" organized by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin. Lindsay's rep says she's not in rehab. [Fox News]