Incurable Gonorrhea Will Save the Institution of Marriage

You can't open an internet browser these days without hitting a loud opinion about how the decline of marriage — or, for less ambitious traditionalists, monogamy — is tearing society apart. Everything from hormonal contraception to gays have been blamed for the falling marriage rate in the US, and marriage proponents… » 3/12/14 9:30pm 3/12/14 9:30pm

CDC: 'Condomless Sex' Is the New 'Unprotected Sex'

Americans have long been told that sex without a condom is "unprotected sex," which leaves you at risk for HIV and a multitude of other sexually transmitted diseases. Now, after pressure from health community advocates, the Center for Disease Control is changing its language and replacing "unprotected sex" with "condomless… » 2/24/14 1:50pm 2/24/14 1:50pm

Have the Clap? Washington Health Dept. Will Call Your Exes for You!

Talking to your ex is hard. Talking to your ex in the context of "Hey, you should get tested because I think I may have given you an STI during our halcyon days as lovers" is even harder. And, because humankind has an endless capacity for Relationship Cowardice, this sort of very awkward but extremely necessary… » 11/15/13 3:00pm 11/15/13 3:00pm

Hey, Kids: Put on Some Damn Condoms Already

Here's some 90's nostalgia we can all get behind: back in those halcyon days, the condom use of youths was on the rise. A decade ago, condom use amongst 15-19 year-olds reached its peak at around sixty percent. Since then, the rate has stalled; alarmingly, its even declined in certain demographics. Although a study… » 11/12/13 6:20pm 11/12/13 6:20pm

Rejoice, Slutty Youths: An Instant STD Test Isn't Far Away

If you're anything like me (MILLENNIAL), then you're familiar with our litany of monolithic generational traits — we're all very lazy and entitled. We'd Tase our own mothers in order to get our hands on the newest Apple doodad gadgetamabob. We sext Snapchats to the Kardashians. Teen Mom. Um. Occupy Twilight. Buttsex. » 10/22/13 4:30pm 10/22/13 4:30pm

HPV Vaccination Rates Remain Far Too Low, According to New Survey

Despite the tireless consciousness-raising efforts of Michael Douglas and Lena Dunham's fictional Twitter account that existed in a single episode of Girls, a new survey from the Center for Disease Control shows that the vaccination rate for teenage girls against HPV has remained dangerously low. » 7/26/13 6:10pm 7/26/13 6:10pm

Major Health Websites Are Leaking Your Embarrassing STD Search Results

Don't do it. Don't Google "difference between genital warts and razor burn" or "what is gout exactly" + "images." Don't do it, because you'll end up diagnosing yourself with brain cancer or mono — all online hypochondriacs eventually come to that fork in the road — when all you have is an ingrown hair, but also because some… » 7/15/13 3:40pm 7/15/13 3:40pm

Getting Us Horn Dogs to Use Condoms Is Gonna Be Really Fucking Hard

Like everything on the Bravo network, condoms are both terrible and great. They're terrible because they're inconvenient, expensive, and deliver a diminished genital-on-genital experience. But they're great because they block all sorts of unwanted things from getting into your body — like Chlamydia and babies! » 7/02/13 1:40pm 7/02/13 1:40pm

Terrifying Public High School Speaker: If You Take Birth Control, Your …

Meet Pam Stenzel. Pam Stenzel is a highly-paid* lecturer who speaks about the virtues of abstinence. Stenzel spoke on Monday at George Washington High School in Charleston, WV and created quite a stir when she allegedly made comments like, "If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you," and "I could look at… » 4/12/13 11:40am 4/12/13 11:40am

Pubic Grooming Leads to Rise in STD Warts

Shaving and waxing the bikini area is behind the surge in cases of a viral infection that causes warts. According to experts, such grooming methods create a "micro-trauma" of the skin that raises the chance of contracting a pox virus called Molluscum contagiosum that is also sexually transmitted. » 3/19/13 1:20pm 3/19/13 1:20pm

Drug-Resistant Super-Gonorrhea Laughs in the Face of Antibiotics

You know how gonorrhea has always been, like, the chillest STI ever? All, "Hey, man! It's me, gonorrhea! Listen, I'm going to be hanging around your junk for a few weeks, but I'll keep it quiet—no loud parties!—and then when things start to get weird, just pop some antibiots and I'm out, brah!" Gonorrhea knows when to… » 2/15/13 7:30pm 2/15/13 7:30pm

Thanks To Brazilian Waxes, Crabs Are an Endangered Species

When salons began ripping the hair out of follicles on women's labia and anuses until their privates were completely bald, they probably never knew they were contributing to the fight against one of the most contagious sexually transmitted infections: pubic lice. However, doctors are linking Brazilian bikini waxes with … » 1/14/13 1:45pm 1/14/13 1:45pm

New STD-Free Certification App Invented For The Youngs

If you ever feel like proving that you're STD-free with techy pizzaz, a new smartphone feature called "safe bumping" is currently being developed for the Sexually Active Youngs to fornicate safely—once completed, users can "bump phones" and use an app called MedXSafe to exchange contact information and their STD-free… » 12/26/12 5:40pm 12/26/12 5:40pm

Rethinking the Blow Job: Condoms or Gonorrhea? Take Your Pick

Gonorrhea — also known as "the clap," possibly because doctors used to believe the sexually transmitted infection was treatable by slamming a heavy object down on one's penis (yes, really) — is the second most commonly reported infectious disease in the United States, after chlamydia. And it's on the rise, with the CDC… » 9/27/12 11:35am 9/27/12 11:35am