Gee, State Department Employees Sure Love Hookers a Lot

THIS JUST IN: SEX HAS BEEN HAD. Not just any old sex, though — according to an internal State Department memo obtained by the press (and already punned nearly to death by the New York Post), the entire State Department is rife with dudes who love paying for sex when they're not on American soil, from the ambassador to… » 6/11/13 6:00pm 6/11/13 6:00pm

The State Department Fights to Protect Americans From the Threat of…

In this post-9/11 Manti Te'o world, the last thing the U.S. Government wants to see is any American citizen become a victim of terrorism or an internet dating scam. So the State Department has taken some time out of its leisurely schedule to compile some tips on how to avoid getting your heart broken by a fake… » 1/24/13 5:45pm 1/24/13 5:45pm

Articles About Hillary Clinton's Hair Are Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Hillary Clinton has worn many hats during her political career — First Lady, Presidential candidate, and Secretary of State, and half of one of the most brilliant political couples of the last century, to name a few. But today, we're going to toss aside all that accomplishment and talk about her fucking hair again,… » 11/29/12 12:05pm 11/29/12 12:05pm

Hillary Clinton Can't Stand Whining About 'Having It All'

Sorry to disappoint you, incredibly quixotic ignorers of things that Hillary Clinton has been saying for like dozens of months now, but there will be no Hillary Clinton '16 bumper stickers to affix to your Saab in four years. The Secretary of State has reaffirmed in an interview with Marie Claire that she's done with… » 10/18/12 3:00pm 10/18/12 3:00pm

How Hillary Clinton Sells Her Pro-Women Agenda

Hillary Clinton is on the cover of a rebooted Newsweek, the cover line touting her "shattering glass ceilings." But the story isn't about her oft-wondered-about share of power in the Obama administration. It's about how she's mainstreaming women's rights causes and putting them at the center of her agenda as Secretary of … » 3/07/11 10:02am 3/07/11 10:02am

Speculative Cabinetry Redux: Clinton, Geithner and Richardson To Come…

  • The word is, again, that Hillary Clinton has been offered and will accept the Secretary of State job. It might not happen until after Thanksgiving, officially, though, because Obama announced he's rolling out the economic team first on Monday. [NY Times]
  • Some people are a little concerned about who else she might…
» 11/21/08 7:30pm 11/21/08 7:30pm

Hillary Clinton To Be (Or Not To Be) Secretary Of State?

Forget all the old white guys you've been hearing about (John Kerry, Chuck Hagel, or, technically Latino Bill "McGrabbyhand" Richardson), Hillary Clinton is the new name to surface in Obama's supposedly secretive hunt for a Secretary of State. Should she stay in the Senate, or should she go to Foggy Bottom? I mean, the… » 11/14/08 10:00am 11/14/08 10:00am

Palin Gives Thumbs Up To Financial Bailouts, Down To Rape Victims

Another day, another dollar, another morning of Crap with me » 9/09/08 10:00am 9/09/08 10:00am and Moe — but this time, with economics! Yes, there's another financial market bail-out going on if you hadn't heard because you were being all political while the Republicans were being all al and abandoning their free market principles (again) to save…

Boy George's Visa Problems Make The State Department Spitting Mad

With the U.S. State Department keeping our borders safe from such prominent evildoers such as Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse, it has now turned its attention to a slightly less-prominent BritPop sensation, Boy George. Boy was recently denied a visa to play for his summer tour in the U.S., and Deputy State Department… » 6/26/08 3:00pm 6/26/08 3:00pm

Kid Hookers A Thriving New American Employment Sector, State Dept…

Great news! Our trade imbalance with other nations may be ever-widening, but demand for one American export is on the rise: our child sex slaves! A new State Department survey puts our fair nation in company with Jamaica, Japan, and the Netherlands which means our sex trafficking business is booming as if we were dirt… » 9/13/07 1:00pm 9/13/07 1:00pm