Tell Us Your Sloppiest St. Patrick's Day Stories

Welcome to Pissing Contest, a weekly story sharing circle for the the ass-draggiest time of the afternoon on the ass-draggiest time of the last day between you and the weekend. Every week, we'll ask a question, you'll share stories, and we'll pick a winner that's featured in the next week's post. It's like a pyramid… » 3/14/14 5:00pm 3/14/14 5:00pm

Kate Middleton Confides in a Irish Guardsman That She Really Wants a…

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, Princess of all the Shiniest Locks in the Faerie Land of Great Britain, had a busy St. Patrick's Day. She put on a trim green blazer and spent the morning meeting members of the Irish Guards at the St. Patrick's Day parade. Things were going so smashingly that she even told… » 3/17/13 4:30pm 3/17/13 4:30pm

Ireland’s Deputy Prime Minister Skipped St. Paddy’s Day Visit to…

A top Irish official from Ireland (for-real Ireland and not, like, Boston) took an opportunity on his St. Patrick's weekend visit to America's Irish diaspora to chastise the venerable sexists in Savannah, Georgia for hosting their all-cock St. Paddy's dinner, no broads allowed since the 19th century. » 3/17/13 12:30pm 3/17/13 12:30pm

Stop Using Fake Holidays as an Excuse to Get Drunk

This isn't to pick on St. Patrick's Day, per se, because America has plenty of imported, quasi-holidays whose only purpose seems to be to sell as much booze to as many reluctant revelers as possible. Don't have enough self-assurance to enjoy a highball at your local rathskeller on a Friday morning without fretting… » 3/17/13 11:02am 3/17/13 11:02am

Saturday Night Social: Don't Forget Overshadowed Birthdays

It's just dumb luck if your birthday happens to coincide with a major holiday like Christmas or Arbor Day, but when it's overlooked because of a middling holiday invented by boozy Catholics who wanted a plausible excuse to cheat during Lent, well, that seems downright unfair. Before you start brushing the green dye… » 3/17/12 6:30pm 3/17/12 6:30pm

Stop Celebrating St. Patrick Because He Was Probably an Asshole

A new academic paper by University of Cambridge buzzkill Roy Flechner suggests that the specious story of St. Patrick being kidnapped from western Britain as a teenager and sold into slavery in Ireland is probably bogus — the saint that famously (but not really because Ireland isn't Australia) chased the snakes out of… » 3/17/12 2:30pm 3/17/12 2:30pm

Kate Middleton Is the Only One Who Remembered

ALDERSHOT, ENGLAND - MARCH 17: Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge poses for an official photograph during her visit to Aldershot Barracks on St Patrick's Day on March 17, 2012 in Aldershot, England. The Duchess presented shamrocks to the Irish Guards at a St Patrick's Day parade. (Photo by Chris Jackson-WPA Pool/Getty… » 3/17/12 2:00pm 3/17/12 2:00pm

Don't Pinch Me: A St. Patrick's Day Manifesto

There are many reasons why I hate St. Patrick's Day: I can't stand parades (I always get trapped in them by accident), organized day-drinking bugs me — I'm an adult, I can get drunk during the day whenever I want — and green isn't my color. But my biggest issue with St. Patty's (oh, and I also hate when people call it… » 3/16/12 6:30pm 3/16/12 6:30pm