Scared Man Pulls Gun On Fake Spider
A West Virginia assistant prosecutor apparently warned his co-workers that he was “deathly afraid of spiders” before they put up this year’s Halloween decorations. But they didn’t listen because they are jerks and so he was forced to whip out his weapon to protect himself against the fake spiders his asshole…
Tell Us About Your Worst Encounters with Insects
In today’s Pissing Contest, we’re talking about our worst encounters with bugs. (Thanks to reader Chad for the suggestion!) “But that’s a spider in the lede photo,” you’re probably saying. “Spiders aren’t insects!” CAN IT, you annoying nerd! We’re talking about horrifying experiences with creepy-crawlies and…
In Spider Society, Female Spiders Are Either Warriors or Nannies
It's a question we've been avoiding for far too long: Can lady spiders really have it all? Well, unless by "have it all" you mean "munch all of the human eyeballs" (a birthright shared by spiders of all genders), then NOPE. In at least one species, female spiders, much like female humans, are expected to choose…
Hidden in This Beautiful Jewelry is a Secret Drug-Science Reference
Much as we love the present trend of sticking drug-molecules on everything from coffee mugs to t-shirts, we crave something new. Fortunately, science-themed artist Delftia has a novel take on subtle drug jewelry: pendants that replicate spider webs spun under the influence of psychoactive drugs.
Horny Tarantulas Are About to Have a Fuckathon in California
If you’re one of those smug Californians who’s always going on about fish tacos and great weather and avocados and relaxed marijuana regulations, there’s a grumpy Northeasterner getting ready to have a schadenfreude party at your expense this weekend. That’s because this weekend in California is Tarantula Bang Fest…
Male Spiders Spontaneously Die After Sex Because MISANDRY
We've known for a while now that lady spiders are the animal kingdom's OG misandrists. Lady spiders hit it and quit it like it's their job (which it is, I guess—it's not like they mate, chew on bugs, and work 9-5 at the bail bonds office), and when they "quit it" they also preemptively quit it on behalf of every…
Clever Female Spiders Use ‘Mating Plugs’ to Thwart Unwanted Sex
New research has disabused Spider scientists (technical term, I assure you) at the Smithsonian of a long-standing misconception that males of the "highly sexually dimorphic and polygamous" wink, wink, nudge, nudge giant wood spider persuasion would sever their own genitals during copulation with a female spider to…
Male Spiders Fuck So Hard They Literally Break Their Dicks in Half
Well, this is romantic. It has been discovered by researchers at the National University of Singapore that males of a certain breed of spider — specifically, the tropical orb-spider Nephilengys malabarensis — will often castrate themselves either fully or partially, leaving a piece of their reproductive anatomy inside…
How to Get Over Your Fear of Spiders and Start Caressing Tarantulas
Spiders are creepy! I mean, they are kind of neat, but mostly they cause people to scurry away in fear and sometimes even emit high-pitched shrieks. Well, if you are one of the people who can't stand those little multi-legged crawlers, you might be in luck. A new study has found that it is possible to turn people from…
Your Fear Makes Spiders Bigger
Because they feed on it! Just kidding — actually, fear just makes spiders look bigger, as scientists determined when they had a bunch of volunteers hang out with tarantulas and then guess their size. People who were afraid of spiders estimated them as bigger than did those who were just fine with the eight-legged…

