Ever wonder how it was physically possible for your great-grandparents to have like 10 kids? Well, sperm was better. No, seriously. Apparently sperm just isn't doin' it's damn thing like it used to.

Men who consume five drinks or more a week are at risk for reduced sperm quality, according to a study published in BMJ Open. Hold all the bros in your life just a little tighter tonight as they grapple with this news.

“Race mixing” is still off-putting for some, including Calgary, Canada’s Regional Fertility Program whose staff made a habit of telling women to select sperm that was from the same ethnic pool as their own. No cellular race-mixing here!

Today in terrible ideas: Women who are trying to conceive are turning to online forums where men are offering to donate sperm for free, despite common knowledge that we're supposed to actively avoid jerkoffs from the Internet.

There is a sperm drought looming over the UK, and they're facing some issues keeping up with the demand. It is believed that donor numbers have dropped since 2005, when donors no longer had the right to anonymity (children who were conceived by way of a donor can now legally ask for the identity of their donor at age…

The weird little tail-whip motion that sperm use to get to their Holy Grail has been co-opted by scientists for use in miniature robots.

Scientists have discovered 17 million year old sperm in some rocks in Australia, sperm that belonged to ancient shrimp and was about as long as the body of the crustaceans themselves.

If more of the educational videos kids watched about a sperm's magical luge ride through the Fallopian tubes looked and sounded like this, you can bet someone would have made a "Journey of the Sperm" video game by now. It could still be a great game, but only if it were an ongoing MMO tournament that restarted every…

Carrie Diaries actress Chloe Bridges was sufficiently weirded/grossed out by the Fifty Shades of Grey audition script. "There were three pages of sides that I was going to audition with," she said. "I read them and then was like, I really can't do this." *YIKES*

Highlights from a Reddit AMA hosted by a man who participated in an experimental study on male birth control:

To swallow or not to swallow: that is the question. You can only really answer it for yourself, but we aim to help you make that decision an informed one. Here, we list every property found in an average splooge—protein, carbs, fat, cholesterol, etc.—and analyze what it means for you to ingest it in terms of…

That's not wind up their kilts, it's free-hanging haggis and groats! And guess what? When a commando Scot bring you back to their hillock abode with a roof of peat moss, they're gonna impregnate you with some of their Rowan jelly. (That's if they're not too busy tossing the caber into the loch.) (Sorry.)

If you thought egg whites were a funky addition to cocktail menus around the country, you ain't seen nothing yet.

People try to sneak lots of miscellaneous contraband into prison, but how often do they try to sneak things that aren't people out of prison? Almost never, probably because the whole point of prison is that it doesn't have anything that anyone wants, except, in the case of Israeli prisons holding Palestinian…

Too much boob tube could affect men's tubes—or what comes out of them. According to a new study, men who watch a lot of TV have nearly half the sperm count of those who don't watch TV at all.

Wisconsin Congressman, Romney running mate, and widow's peak cultivator Paul Ryan has again cosponsored the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which would grant "all the legal and constitutional attributes and privileges of personhood" to a "one-celled human embryo," even before implantation. The only problem is that a…

Have you ever wanted to birth David Beckham's offspring? Thanks to UK Clinic Fame Daddy, your dream can now come true! Basically.

Scientists in Japan have produced a litter of healthy baby mice from eggs created entirely in a laboratory. The same team reportedly fabricated mouse sperm a year ago, but they say that that was no big. It's the fragile, fickle lady eggs that are the real challenge. And now they've done it! From scratch! Woooooooo!