Pepsi Is Launching a Stevia-Sweetened New Cola

With Americans increasingly skeptical of high-fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners alike, what's a soda company to do? Well, Pepsi and Coke both want to sell us on new "natural" drinks made with sugar stevia, instead. Don't you feel better about those liquid calories? » 10/02/14 1:00pm 10/02/14 1:00pm

Drinking Soda Won't Ruin You, But Drinking Soda Without Moving Will

It turns out you can (at least) two sodas a day — provided you walk around 12,000 steps to counteract your Diet Coke habit. Yay? » 9/10/14 3:40pm 9/10/14 3:40pm

Starbucks Wants to Sell You Fancy Decaf Soda Now

After testing out their line of Fizzio™ sodas last year, Starbucks has officially added "handmade" non-caffeinated sodas without high fructose corn syrup to their menu in select South/western states. SodaStream has truly had a far-reaching effect on society at large. » 6/23/14 11:40am 6/23/14 11:40am

Diet Soda Makes You Thin! Says Questionable Study By Soda Companies

Good news: a new study conducted via science has shown that that Diet Coke and other similar artificially flavored and colored bubbly beverages can actually help people lose weight! Bad news: the study was completely and 100% funded by soda manufacturers. In comparable 1967 news: new study by Malboro shows that… » 5/27/14 3:00pm 5/27/14 3:00pm

New Diet Coke Slogan Is About Drugs, Say Cool People Who Are Not Narcs

Apparently, Diet Coke's new ad campaign: "You're on!" is drawing fire for being a terribly irresponsible and naughty DRUG REFERENCE FOR DRUGGIES. Sometimes the billboards say, "Diet Coke. You're on." And sometimes they say, "You're on. Diet Coke." But either way, they're clearly talking about your brain being on… » 3/04/14 5:00pm 3/04/14 5:00pm

British Woman Was Drinking 50 Diet Cokes a Day and Tripping Balls

It's easy to make fun of the Daily Mail, but those of us who indulge in the practice often forget about paper's razor-sharp journalistic instincts, which are nowhere more evident than in this latest gem of a story about a British woman who, at one point in her acid trip of an adulthood, was consuming 50 cans of Diet… » 2/23/14 4:00pm 2/23/14 4:00pm

Soda Drinkers, the FDA Is Coming for Your Caramel Coloring

Even though a health risk has never been found before, the FDA is conducting a study regarding the safety of caramel coloring. You know, the stuff in Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Root Beer and Brisk iced tea. Uh oh. » 1/23/14 5:15pm 1/23/14 5:15pm

Diet Soda Sales Plunged in 2013

After several decades and millions addicted, it seems that diet soda is losing its fizzy hold on people's minds, as sales fell 6.8% this year. » 12/09/13 12:15pm 12/09/13 12:15pm

Mexican Coke Is Ditching Cane Sugar For High-Fructose Corn Syrup…

Well, this is some real bullshit. Mexican Coke is ditching its key ingredient, cane sugar, for high-fructose corn syrup. This is objectively awful. » 11/06/13 10:50am 11/06/13 10:50am

Taylor Swift's Diet Coke Can Is Skinnier Than a Regular Diet Coke Can

As AdWeek points out, Diet Coke has done a "sleek can" before, and Diet Pepsi has done a "skinny can." But neither of those were tied to one slender person with a bunch of teenage fans. » 9/26/13 5:30pm 9/26/13 5:30pm

Un-American Americans Are Cutting Back on Drinking Soda

America's three biggest soda companies, Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Dr. Pepper Snapple Group, have reported declining sales in the last quarter. And though it may seem that health-conscious Americans are probably opting for the diet versions of their favorite speshal juice, it's actually the diet versions of sodas that are… » 7/25/13 2:40pm 7/25/13 2:40pm

Diet Dr Pepper Is the Best Beverage Ever Invented by Man (or Nature)

I will eat an entire cake and/or pie, and I will down half a package of Watermelon Oreos (sorry, Lindy), but I will die before I drink calories*. I don't know if it was coming of age in the 90s with a mom who was both always dieting and in possession of a Costco membership, but I've indulged in my fair share of diet… » 7/18/13 11:10am 7/18/13 11:10am

Coke Zero: The Beverage of Pathetic Men Everywhere

Guys, are you a sad sack piece of crap with delusions about your looks, talent, and abilities who can't be counted on to perform the most basic of tasks? Well then, Coke Zero is for you! » 4/18/13 10:00am 4/18/13 10:00am

Large Soda Ban Already Banned!

Well, that was quick! A judge has decided that Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces is toro caca, and went right ahead and invalidated it. » 3/11/13 4:30pm 3/11/13 4:30pm

Mountain Dew Is Making a Breakfast Drink Because Human Beings Are…

PepsiCo Inc. has just announced the February release of a new Mountain Dew-flavored morning drink called Kickstart, which, while it may sound revolting to most adults, is great news for 18-year-old boys with epically early morning econ lectures everywhere. » 2/11/13 12:05pm 2/11/13 12:05pm

Watch the New Diet Coke Hunk Get a Soda-Jizz Facial

While regular sugar-filled Coke is focusing on "happy calories" and joy, Diet Coke reminds you that bubbles are sexy, men are sexy and sex is sexy. Also getting sprayed in the face is sexy. Back in 1994, Diet Coke debuted the "Diet Coke Hunk," a well-built construction worker who took off his shirt and guzzled a DC… » 1/28/13 4:40pm 1/28/13 4:40pm

'Honest' Version of Coca Cola's Anti-Obesity Ad Is Actually a Scary…

Here's the new Coca-Cola commercial, in which the brand brags about all it's doing to help people consume fewer calories: "Across our portfolio of over 650 beverages, we now offer over 180 low and no calorie choices," the narrator explains. If you like, you can also watch the new Coca-Cola commercial explaining how… » 1/17/13 10:45am 1/17/13 10:45am

New Coca-Cola Ads Mention Obesity, But Still Insist Coca-Cola Has…

Coca-Cola is the world's number one beverage company, and known for ad campaigns that equate soft drinks with joy. From "Have a Coke and a Smile" to "open happiness" and the Happiness Machine, Coca-Cola has always focused on positivity. But in new commercials hitting the air starting today, the brand will do something… » 1/14/13 3:40pm 1/14/13 3:40pm

New Soda Machines Will Yell at You About Calories

In an effort to educate consumers about the stark realities of carbonated syrup, soda giants are rolling out new vending machines that will prominently feature calorie counts. Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper will all launch their new machines in 2013, and also plan to focus aggressively on developing new diet drinks. » 10/08/12 5:15pm 10/08/12 5:15pm