Subway Reminds Women to Stay Thin For Slutty Halloween Costumes

Hey ladaaays, because you've got your priorities straight, I know you've already got your Slutoween costumes on deck because Halloween is the only night of the year where it's acceptable for the ladyfolk to show some skin. But how's that body looking? Is it banging enough? Luckily Subway is here to help ensure that… » 10/02/14 3:20pm 10/02/14 3:20pm

Dress As Slutty As You Want This Halloween, Just Don't Act Like A Dick

Much has been made of Halloween's gradual transformation from a holiday that exists as a way to commemorate our ancient superstitions about ghosts into a holiday that exists as a way to get hepatitis from a sexy nurse costume that came in a clear plastic bag and cost $65. But quibbling over whether it's okay to go… » 10/29/13 5:30pm 10/29/13 5:30pm

Student Petitions Slutoween Store to Carry a Few Non-Slutty Costumes

High school senior Maya is fed up with her local halloween superstore, Party City, only carrying slutty slut costumes for sluts. She's fine that the slut costumes exist, but she wants some fucking CHOICE. Maybe she just wants to be a meatball, and not a sexy meatball. Give her the regular meatball costume, Party City.… » 10/24/13 9:30am 10/24/13 9:30am

Why Can't Children Be 'Naughty' Anymore? Because 'Sexy' Stole It.

My feminazi interboobs have been hot-flashing all day with talk of a certain "Naughty Leopard" Halloween costume, which reportedly sexualizes youngsters by dressing them up like a sensual, erotic purple cat in a dress. Now, not only am I against both the sexualization of youngsters and dyeing your cat purple and… » 9/24/13 4:50pm 9/24/13 4:50pm

A Musical Reminder That You Can Wear Clothes On Halloween and That's…

As October 31st draws nigh and we're bombarded with more and more ideas for tasteless/offensive/revealing costumes, it can be easy to forget that you don't have to dress as a Slutty [BLANK] if you don't want to. Take it from the cute girls of EmotiStyle and their song "Things You Can Be On Halloween Besides Naked."… » 10/23/12 5:30pm 10/23/12 5:30pm

All of Your Slutty Halloween Costumes Are Costing Us Billions

It's almost Halloween! Time to spend all the money we earned in October to get half-naked and binge on shitty candy. Seems reasonable, I'm into it. And so is half the United States, apparently. According to the Washington Examiner, Americans spend over $8 billion (BILLION) dollars a year on Halloween crapola. That's… » 10/22/12 9:30am 10/22/12 9:30am

A Gentle Reminder That Slutoween Celebrants Are Asking For It

Ugh, feminists really are the worst. First, they tell you to bust out the lingerie to protest rape at SlutWalk, and then they demand you ditch your sexy mental patient Halloween costume for a dumpy Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor outfit. It's so incredibly confusing! That is, if you're a writer notorious for… » 10/31/11 11:15am 10/31/11 11:15am

Your Guide To Absurdist 'Sexy' Halloween Costumes

Ah, Halloween. The holiday once celebrated by kids pretending to be ghosts and ghouls has morphed into a yearly tradition of women donning skimpy synthetic-fiber garments and animal ears. There's nothing wrong with wearing a sexy costume on Slutoween, as we like to call it, but when you force some innocent creature or… » 10/13/11 1:50pm 10/13/11 1:50pm

Maybe The Best Way To Handle Slutoween Is To Just Go With It

Folks, it's that time of the year again: Slutoween is back! And this year, the slut is skewing younger » 10/14/08 12:30pm 10/14/08 12:30pm than ever. While little boys are dressing up as firemen and superheroes, little girls can be what Mike Adamick at Strollerderby calls "Meth Belly Pirate." Yes, the costume seen at left is for 7-year-olds. Adamick…