Over the past couple weeks, nearly every friend I have (ALL THREE OF THEM) has invited me to go see the new Spike Jonze movie Her and for reasons even I don't understand, my impolite response has continually been one of aggressive disinterest. I dunno — I'm sure Her is good and all, but the fact is that it fails to…
One of the world's greatest, most enduring mysteries has finally been solved. No, we haven't figured out what Stonehenge is for, how the pyramids were built, who really killed JFK, what caused the Bloop, the identity of the man in the Taman Shud case, or why Jennifer Aniston keeps getting roles in major studio films —…
Like most everyone in possession of an iPhone, I have a very contentious relationship with Siri: she never tells me jokes, she refuses to learn my name, and she's often extremely judgmental of me ("I'm sorry, I don't have any results for 'goat tree'. Would you like me to Google it?" she will often say in a dismissive,…
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--AC0Cdf9---/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18bvvcqt93dbfjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--s937LnUR--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18bvvcqt93dbfjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--pIXJI81d--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18bvvcqt93dbfjpg.jpg, (large)])
The turtle-necks over at Apple HQ have recently posted a job listing to find a new speechwriter for Siri, the personal assistant application that runs on the more recent models of the iPhone.
Siri may deny knowing Samuel L. Jackson and be irritated by certain members of the Deschanel family that insist on asking insipid questions about the weather, but she apparently does like some people. In the newest ad for Apple's iPhone 4S, she and John Malkovich seem to share quite a deep connection. Well, as deep a…
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Q2yzL6_N--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/17njesqq8w3eyjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--88vshCp_--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/17njesqq8w3eyjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--mltPxkSr--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/17njesqq8w3eyjpg.jpg, (large)])
Siri can be used for many purposes — from telling Zooey Deschanel that when water falls from the sky, that's called "rain" to claiming she doesn't know who Samuel L. Jackson is (seriously! Ask her! She'll lie!) But did you know that Siri can also be a malevolent entity worthy of her own series of R. L. Stein books?
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--yFa8mkyu--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/17myrsy3wlco1jpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--p5juk3c6--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/17myrsy3wlco1jpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Try16oNi--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/17myrsy3wlco1jpg.jpg, (large)])
If you think Siri gets bitchy when you ask her about Zooey Deschanel, wait until you see what she does when confronted with Jooey Deschanel. He's Zooey's "brother," and he seems to be suffering from some kind of adorkable spectrum disorder that allows him to drive Siri over the brink. "Siri, you wanna take a soup bath?"
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--aHeM5hP2--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/17mwwrvb6nlbwjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--EcsLYhOS--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/17mwwrvb6nlbwjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--qSyAFwXe--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/17mwwrvb6nlbwjpg.jpg, (large)])
I'm beginning to think there's something fishy going on between Siri and Zooey Deschanel. I asked Siri some very straightforward questions about her homeslice Z, and Siri basically refused to discuss the situation with me. Behold:
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--NzmCzoKE--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18k2ouuco81jqjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--RSjdBovF--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18k2ouuco81jqjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--woET0MkO--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18k2ouuco81jqjpg.jpg, (large)])
British tween Charlie Le Quesne and his mom were shopping at a store in England when he picked up an iPhone 4S on display and innocently asked Siri, "How many people are there in the world?" The 12-year-old, expecting the phone's automated assistant to give him a number, got a real shock when instead Siri answered, "Shut …
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--BYKvj9oW--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18k2x3klwf3wljpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--PfJu-MuX--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18k2x3klwf3wljpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wxNdKrOh--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18k2x3klwf3wljpg.jpg, (large)])
Earlier this week, it was widely reported that Siri won't locate abortion clinics. It's a troubling thought that the magical device you carry in your pocket may not share your views on women's reproductive rights. However, today an Apple spokeswoman told the New York Times that Siri isn't necessarily harboring…
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--2CLOqy4f--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18iw608ccpylxjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--K122IqVM--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18iw608ccpylxjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--WDf-kHT---/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18iw608ccpylxjpg.jpg, (large)])
Ever wonder why so many automated voices—think the iPhone's Siri, your GPS lady, the woman who gives you your voicemail—are female? NPR's Scott Simon did a little digging into this topic, and the consensus seems to be that women's voices are used because they're perceived as being more comforting. As one expert put…
], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Q0TSCJ7X--/c_fill,g_north,h_358,w_636/18iw9fftx2hgrjpg.jpg, (small)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--RCrWYMEO--/c_fill,g_north,h_180,w_320/18iw9fftx2hgrjpg.jpg, (medium)], [http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--DQJwbVs3--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_north,h_77,q_80,w_137/18iw9fftx2hgrjpg.jpg, (large)])
Did you or a loved one spend the entire weekend making increasingly offensive comments to your phone? Now you can share the fruits of your iPhone 4S obsession with others on the Tumblr Shit iSay to Siri. Apparently Siri knows who the walrus is and can commiserate when you need to poop, but the tiny lady trapped in your …
