Six Things to Buy If You Want to Backpack Without Looking Like a Backpacker 

The traditional backpacking uniform involves convertible zip-off cargo pants and Keen sandals that resemble medical devices. It’s not chic. Of course, you want to leave your heels and lacy dresses at home when you’re wandering dusty streets and trails somewhere: backpacking for seven months changed my style completely »9/25/15 1:10pm9/25/15 1:10pm

Prime of Life: The Story of My 20s, as Told in Amazon Purchases

Amazon turns 20 today, which means it’s nearly the same age I was when I graduated college, moved across the country, and started living alone. The world has changed, and Amazon has its own transition period to undergo. But if it’s anything like me, it can manage these growing pains easily—with an overflowing digital… »7/15/15 1:13pm7/15/15 1:13pm

Victoria's Big Fuckin' Secret: Your Returned Underwear Gets Shredded

I purchased pairs on pairs on pairs of Victoria's Secret panties when I was young and knew nothing about my body or comfort. All of them pierced deep into the flesh of my hips and lower belly, and sagged in the ass. Deeply painful memories. What I didn't know then (besides what decent underwear could look and feel… »3/27/15 9:30am3/27/15 9:30am

Are Millennials to Blame for Everything? An Investigation (But Yes)

Millennials! We already know they don't know how to love and are awful at sewing and button repair. But the dark powers of the younger generation are just beginning to be fully understood. Turns out they're also wreaking havoc on a host of other things across the globe, things like Thanksgiving, a once-popular but now… »11/14/14 6:30pm11/14/14 6:30pm

This Year's Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gifts Include a $65,000 Floral Peacock

We're only twenty-two days away from Halloween, so why haven't you started your holiday shopping yet, you lazy ass? No fear, if you happen to have legally inherited a large sum of cash recently, you might want to check out the Neiman Marcus holiday catalog for some excellent gift ideas. I kid, but I truly love this… »10/09/14 4:30pm10/09/14 4:30pm