Sorority Girls Allegedly Shitting All Over Mississippi State's Campus

End of summer got you down in the dumps? You're not alone. In fact, nowhere in America is it shittier right now than it is on Mississippi State's campus, where a roving band of feral female undergraduates are allegedly shitting all over the place in an attempt to impress their desired sorority with their prolific… » 9/08/14 1:30pm 9/08/14 1:30pm

Seriously, Poop Pills Just Might Save Your Life (With Poop!)

Ohhhhhh my GOD, I will never ever ever in my life get tired of stories where doctors use poop as medicine. EVER. Because, you see, it's poop (which is stinky stuff that comes out of your butt*), and then doctors (who are very serious science grown-ups) have to touch the poop with doctory gravitas, and then they turn… » 10/04/13 4:30pm 10/04/13 4:30pm

Poor, Horny Romantics Ready to Die Can Work at the Titanic II

Because why not, some gadzillionaire has invested in the Titanic II, an exact replica of that one crazy cruise ship that was so full of love, giant diamonds, and, uh, death, and apparently lonely boners and sad hearts are already willing to pay $1 million to be a bourgie guest at the Neue Titanic. But what if you're… » 5/20/13 1:10pm 5/20/13 1:10pm

Fuck Your Delicate Sensibilities, I'm Going to Swear as Much as I Want

I swear a lot. In writing, if not so much in speech (but, fuck it, also a lot of times in speech). Swearing is awesome, because it adds a little extra punch to your sentence that lets people know you mean business! Or, at least, I guess that's how most people characterize the function of swearing. Personally, I don't… » 5/15/13 5:15pm 5/15/13 5:15pm

If You're Not Examining Your Poop, You're Not Living

What goes in, must come out — and when it does come out, it's basically a murky crystal ball into your gastrointestinal health. Poo is the funky combo of water, fiber, bacteria, cells, and mucus that fills your toilet bowl — and that's all good. However, when weird colors, textures, and consistencies get up in the… » 4/10/13 12:05pm 4/10/13 12:05pm

Everybody Poops, So Why Do So Many Women Avoid Going at Work?

When I was a sophomore in college, making my dollars working in the theatre department's costume shop, I stitched alongside a posse of unspeakably cool senior girls. Being prime players in the University's theatre scene, they were into shock and awe when it came the way they dressed, did their hair, and even — or… » 11/16/12 1:10pm 11/16/12 1:10pm

And Now, A Shitty Story About Prison Diarrhea

In 2008 I was living in Paraguay. I had just started my two-year stint as a Peace Corps volunteer and I was in charge of procuring my own work. Arts and crafts projects would have been a simple way to improve the community while I adjusted to an entirely new diet and language. But I had little patience and thought I… » 8/06/12 4:00pm 8/06/12 4:00pm

Class Canoe Trip Turns to Shit After Parent Chaperone Tricks Kids Into…

It's no secret that children can play awful tricks on one another, but you don't usually expect teachers and parents to be in on the prank. But that's exactly what happened during a class canoe trip in Manitoba, Canada, when a parent chaperone tricked two different students into eating moose poop. Karen Eyolfson says… » 6/07/12 9:30am 6/07/12 9:30am

Thomas Kinkade's Wife Files Restraining Order Against Thomas Kinkade's…

Yay! More tasty dark corners in the saga of mysteriously deceased fake-art huckster Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light (also Groper of Light, Public Urinator of Light, Drunk Driver of Light, and Siegfried & Roy Magic Tiger Show Disruptor of Light). At the time when he became suddenly and mysteriously dead (of Light),… » 4/23/12 2:40pm 4/23/12 2:40pm