Yes, Cards Against Humanity Made $180,000 Selling Boxes of Shit [UPDATE]

If you're trying to spend your holiday season rediscovering your faith in humanity, it's probably best that you not think about how 30,000 people collectively spent $180,000 buying actual boxes of shit from a card game company. » 12/15/14 11:30pm 12/15/14 11:30pm

Sorority Girls Allegedly Shitting All Over Mississippi State's Campus

End of summer got you down in the dumps? You're not alone. In fact, nowhere in America is it shittier right now than it is on Mississippi State's campus, where a roving band of feral female undergraduates are allegedly shitting all over the place in an attempt to impress their desired sorority with their prolific… » 9/08/14 1:30pm 9/08/14 1:30pm

The Key to Greater Work Happiness Is Taking and Giving Less Shit

The hardest part about any office job is probably not the job — it's the people, AKA dealing with other personalities so fundamentally different, irritating, and mismatched that it's a wonder any work gets done at all. But what if you only needed to adjust two things to be happier at work? » 7/25/14 1:40pm 7/25/14 1:40pm

The Environmental Protection Agency Has a Serial Hallway Pooper

A regional office of the Environmental Protection Agency is having a little difficulty protecting its own environment, as someone keeps using their hands or buttholes to leave human shit in the halls. Seriously. » 6/25/14 2:40pm 6/25/14 2:40pm

The Nation's First Poop Transplant Bank Has Opened

Poop transplants—in which doctors take poop from one person and then put it directly into another person's butt—are a relatively new technology that can save lives. So it only makes sense that a human stool bank has opened to provide doctors with safe fecal matter from screened donors. » 2/19/14 11:00am 2/19/14 11:00am

Shit, Cosmo Says on New Cover

The trend of women's magazines using curse words on their covers continues: Cosmopolitan's January cover screams "52 HOLY SH@*!T SEX MOVES: Let the Games Begin!" » 1/21/14 2:40pm 1/21/14 2:40pm

Seriously, Poop Pills Just Might Save Your Life (With Poop!)

Ohhhhhh my GOD, I will never ever ever in my life get tired of stories where doctors use poop as medicine. EVER. Because, you see, it's poop (which is stinky stuff that comes out of your butt*), and then doctors (who are very serious science grown-ups) have to touch the poop with doctory gravitas, and then they turn… » 10/04/13 4:30pm 10/04/13 4:30pm

City Combats Dog Poop Problem With Image of Little Girl Eating Shit

Apparently the three-year-olds of Bristol, England got a taste for fido's feces and now they can't get enough. Yummy yummy. » 6/20/13 12:20pm 6/20/13 12:20pm

Poor, Horny Romantics Ready to Die Can Work at the Titanic II

Because why not, some gadzillionaire has invested in the Titanic II, an exact replica of that one crazy cruise ship that was so full of love, giant diamonds, and, uh, death, and apparently lonely boners and sad hearts are already willing to pay $1 million to be a bourgie guest at the Neue Titanic. But what if you're… » 5/20/13 1:10pm 5/20/13 1:10pm

Fuck Your Delicate Sensibilities, I'm Going to Swear as Much as I Want

I swear a lot. In writing, if not so much in speech (but, fuck it, also a lot of times in speech). Swearing is awesome, because it adds a little extra punch to your sentence that lets people know you mean business! Or, at least, I guess that's how most people characterize the function of swearing. Personally, I don't… » 5/15/13 5:15pm 5/15/13 5:15pm

If You're Not Examining Your Poop, You're Not Living

What goes in, must come out — and when it does come out, it's basically a murky crystal ball into your gastrointestinal health. Poo is the funky combo of water, fiber, bacteria, cells, and mucus that fills your toilet bowl — and that's all good. However, when weird colors, textures, and consistencies get up in the… » 4/10/13 12:05pm 4/10/13 12:05pm

Ladymags Now Using Non-Ladylike Language

In November of 2011, Cindi Leive, editor in chief of Glamour magazine, wrote the coverline "12 Ways to Get Your Sh*t Together." Then for the September 2012 issue, there was a coverline "Sh*t Girls Say About Clothes." Yes, in both cases, the "i" in "shit" was an asterisk, but still. It should have been a… » 1/02/13 10:55am 1/02/13 10:55am

Everybody Poops, So Why Do So Many Women Avoid Going at Work?

When I was a sophomore in college, making my dollars working in the theatre department's costume shop, I stitched alongside a posse of unspeakably cool senior girls. Being prime players in the University's theatre scene, they were into shock and awe when it came the way they dressed, did their hair, and even — or… » 11/16/12 1:10pm 11/16/12 1:10pm

And Now, A Shitty Story About Prison Diarrhea

In 2008 I was living in Paraguay. I had just started my two-year stint as a Peace Corps volunteer and I was in charge of procuring my own work. Arts and crafts projects would have been a simple way to improve the community while I adjusted to an entirely new diet and language. But I had little patience and thought I… » 8/06/12 4:00pm 8/06/12 4:00pm

Class Canoe Trip Turns to Shit After Parent Chaperone Tricks Kids Into…

It's no secret that children can play awful tricks on one another, but you don't usually expect teachers and parents to be in on the prank. But that's exactly what happened during a class canoe trip in Manitoba, Canada, when a parent chaperone tricked two different students into eating moose poop. Karen Eyolfson says… » 6/07/12 9:30am 6/07/12 9:30am

Thomas Kinkade's Wife Files Restraining Order Against Thomas Kinkade's…

Yay! More tasty dark corners in the saga of mysteriously deceased fake-art huckster Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light (also Groper of Light, Public Urinator of Light, Drunk Driver of Light, and Siegfried & Roy Magic Tiger Show Disruptor of Light). At the time when he became suddenly and mysteriously dead (of Light),… » 4/23/12 2:40pm 4/23/12 2:40pm

Adventures in Baby Pooping

If you have a baby you, quite literally, have to deal with a lot of shit. And the only thing more disturbing than scooping poop clumps out of your daughter's vagina or scraping off feces caked onto your son's balls is that you will want need to talk about it to anyone who will listen, which unsurprisingly isn't very… » 3/09/12 5:45pm 3/09/12 5:45pm

Younger Olsen Sister Denies Sex & The City Prequel Rumors

Elizabeth Olsen, the younger sister of Mary Kate and Ashley (my first thought upon learning of her existence- There are more Olsens?! They can't be stopped!), has denied rumors that she will star in a Sex & The City prequel movie. If not her, then, who? » 8/07/11 3:40pm 8/07/11 3:40pm

City Puts Renaming Of Solid Waste Services Department Up For A Vote,…

Austin, Texas is a place full of wonderfully weird people, and when the city decided to leave the renaming of its shit disposal team up for public vote, something wonderfully weird happened. What name does Texas's weirdest city favor? » 2/06/11 4:15pm 2/06/11 4:15pm