Watching Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!—experiencing Sharknado for the first time—I quickly learned that the first rule of Sharknado-watching is to never ask questions. Especially the all-important one: What am I watching? From what I knew of this cultural phenomenon secondhand, the SyFy Channel’s Sharknado TV-movie…
Discovery Channel's Shark Week got an extra boost from female viewers this year, attracting more women ages 18-49 than ever before. Probably because "shark week" = periods, AMMIRITE, LADEEEEEEZ?
There are some people who like shark week. There are some people who love shark week. There are some people who annoy you every week that it isn't shark week by shouting things like "LIVE EVERY WEEK LIKE IT'S SHARK WEEK" at inappropriate times. (Those people you want to kill.) And then there's Verne Troyer.
"My bed looks like the elevator from the shining… Contemplate, don't hate/Cause I look like Sharon Tate/or a piece of rare steak/when I masturbate." Just a few of the many amazing lines in "Shark Week," a track by a group of rappers called Hand Job Academy.
If you don't love Max-Arthur, the cat dressed as a shark who professional rides a Roomba, then that's probably because... well, I don't know. I just can't think of any possible explanation that would allow a person not to love this with everything that is in them.
A lot of people were fooled and annoyed and annoyed to be fooled by Shark Week's fake two-hour documentary about megalodons. The Discovery Channel never apologized for scaring the crap out of the seventy-three percent of viewers who now think megalodons still exist, and John Oliver is not pleased by their sharkhavior.*
Shark Week, that great Discovery Channel event of mixed-message nature television, returns tonight, signaling the end of summer. Enjoy programs with alarmist titles like "Shark Psychopaths: The Most Dangerous, Bloodthirsty, and Insane Sharks on the Planet, and Why They're All COMING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW," and then…