sexplanations

When It Comes To Sex, What Exactly Is "Normal"?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or DSM) is like the bible of American psychiatry, but it's been pretty controversial, as far as what's been included about sexual behaviors. (Up until the mid 1970s, homosexuality was listed in the DSM as a mental disorder.) The last DSM was published in 1994, and it was announced recently that the American Psychiatric Association is picking members to contribute to the development of the newest edition of the DSM, which will be published in 2012. The DSM is super important, as it's the standard on what we view as deviant behavior, so certain groups want to make sure that issues like Gender Identity are handled with great care and sensitivity. (A bunch of crap also needs to be removed from the manual, particularly paraphilias like transvestism, sexual sadism and sexual masochism. Like really, who still thinks S&M is a mental disorder when it's like such a clichéd, cheesy kink? For real, S&M is like the Hot Topic in the mall of sexuality. It's trying to be different, it's trying to freak you out, it's trying to piss off parents, but in the end, it's really kind of…normal.) More »

moving violations

The Legality Of "Road Head" (Or, 13 States In Which We've Broken The Law By Giving A Beej)

With a bunch of states finally getting around to banning text messaging while driving, I began to wonder what other bad-idea auto activities are illegal. Actually, the only one I really care about — or engage in — is "road head" (when the driver of a car receives oral sex, for those prudes/pedestrians out there). It's kinda mainstream, since it's been featured in movies like Crash and friggin' Parenthood, but I was thinking that since it is kinda dangerous, and potentially deadly, it must be moving violation. Right? More »

sexplanations

5 Mistakes That "Sexperts" Make When Giving Advice

We know that the only expectation we can count on Fox News to meet is one of disappointment — if not utter, hair-pulling frustration — but its reliable inanity doesn't mean that its immune to critique, particularly when doling out "fair and balanced" sex advice. Today, "sexpert" (if words could be killed off, that would be the first on our hit list) Yvonne K. Fulbright enumerated the "10 Sex Mistakes That Women Make." While Fulbright did provide two tips that we can get on-board with — "the occasional potty mouth can be a passion-inducer" and "don't use sex manipulatively" — the rest is really off the mark. So after the jump, we've compiled the 5 Mistakes That Sexperts Make When Giving Advice! More »

sexplanations

The Sexist Business Of Sex Writing

I'm pissed. It's an anger that's been on a slow boil that's beginning to bubble over, and at this point, there's no putting a lid on it. I've been writing about sex on a pretty public platform for some time now, at first anonymously, and then under my real name. I've had to endure ignorant assumptions and cheap shots made about my looks, my weight, my vagina, my tits, my sexual health, my mental health, my morality, my character — and all for what? Being honest? For liking sex? I've poured my guts out all over my keyboard, and I'm well aware that that invites criticism, particularly on the internet, where people think they can say whatever the fuck they please — in the most offensive manner possible that they would never employ in real life — with impunity because they're protected behind a shroud of anonymity. It's frustrating. And lemme tell you, I am so sick of people telling me, "You write about sex and personal issues. You have to accept that people will sling insults." Fuck. That. Shit. I don't have to accept it. I refuse to accept it. Mostly because I know that this wouldn't happen if I were a man.

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sexplanations

Why We Have Sex, Reasons 238-252

Breaking news! According to the Ivory Tower, "all the most inane, minimally-researched studies get the maximum media exposure" wing, there are 237 reaons humans have sex that pretty much all boil down to "why not?" Shockingly, they're somewhat redundant: "I had no self control" and "It was a romantic setting" are just different ways of saying "I was drunk," in our experience, and "The person's physical appearance turned me on" and "The person had a desirable body" could, depending on the level of alcohol imbibed, mean the same thing as "I was slumming." And yeah we're taking New York Times resident sexologist John Tierney's bait and adding our own, most of which boil down to "I am poor," if not quite as poor as Tierney's fourth commenter, who suggests "So I could bum a cigarette afterwards." Classy!

• The um, news? Was somehow inspiring?
  
• You were locked out of the house.
  
• The person really needed to get laid and you like to think of yourself as a Good Samaritan. (Sexaritan?)
  
• To avoid being groped by someone even uglier after the inevitable loss of consciousness on the subway ride home.
  
• Because you were feeling fat, but he was actually fat, thereby making you feel small, and in any case ridding you of some much-maligned water weight.
  
• He played "Range Life" on the jukebox.
  
• You'd had good luck with that astrological sign before.

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