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Posts Tagged “

Sex Toys

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To celebrate the release of the Sex and the City movie, UK sex toy company Love Honey is releasing a vibrator in the spirit of the film. It's gonna be called Mr. Big. Ouch! [The Sun]

29 comments

bad seeds

Wife Swap: Little Angels With Dirty Mouths

Most episodes of Wife Swap feature one strict family and one lenient family for purposes of creating drama. The strict families tend to be uptight about most things, but on last night's episode, the mother of the strict family, Terry, was revealed to be a saleswoman for "romance enhancements" (she sells vibrators and lube to women at parties). And although she has a somewhat dirty career for an average suburban mom, she despises dirty language — particularly when spoken by children. Such was the case with Autumn, the 10-year-old little girl in the family that sex-toy-shilling Terry is mothering for two weeks. The kid is either a comedic genius or an evil psycho. You decide from the clip above.

Earlier: Teenage Tourette's Sufferers Say What's On Their Minds

2:00 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Slut Machine
9,198 views, 88 comments

Latest by Old5chool: Poor kid :( more »

toy story

The NEA: Is This "Luxury" Vibrator Worth It?

I'm not opposed to spending big money on sex toys, because I can't really think of anything that I value more than my orgasms. For a while now, I've found myself intrigued by companies that shill "high end" vibrators, claiming they are "as pleasing to the eye as to the touch." Now, I don't really give a crap about the way a sex toy looks because I'm not trying to impress anyone with it except my clitoris... and my clit doesn't have eyes. But I was super-excited to get a review sample of one of the fancy vibes — from Swedish company LELO (an acronym for Luxury Erotic Lifestyle Objects) — so I could discover if my opinion of the product would be as high as its price tag. After the jump, my clit and I weigh in. More »

4:30 PM on Thu May 1 2008
By Slut Machine
15,897 views, 99 comments

Latest by maribars: FYI, I just saw a link from feministing.com for 15% off on orders from early2bed.com. Also, apparently early2bed.com is feminist owned and operated. more »

pot psychology

"If You Really Like A Guy Should You Wait To Bang Him?"

When we filmed our 420 episode of Pot Psychology with Street Carnage's Gavin McInnes, we went all out to get in the right state of mind for the special event. Actually, we sorta went overboard. By the end of the night I puked, Rich was ready to hide in my bedroom, and Gavin had a paranoid delusion that Betty the intern thought he was gonna rape her. But in between all that, we managed to film nearly four hours of rambling nonsense that was just too good to confine to one episode, so this week's Pot Psych is part 2 of that epic night, in which we answer questions about hummers, midgets, and the dangers of senior citizens masturbating. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)

4:20 PM on Fri Apr 25 2008
By Slut Machine
19,331 views, 101 comments

Latest by WhatHappenedToJohnBasedow: other suggestions for songs to hum while giving a hummer: the theme to star wars, 'under pressure', and 'when the saints go marching in'. more »

The product to the left: Workout equipment or sex toy? (Click image for answer.)

40 comments

clips

Sci-Fi For Women: Marrying Your Vibrator

Remember that South Park episode that spoofed that sci-fi, fanboy-jerk-off-material movie Heavy Metal? Here's a clip from the original, in which a woman has sex with a robot and decides to get married to it after "experiencing ecstasy with mechanical equipment." It's kinda NSFW due to naked cartoon breasts.

Earlier: South Park Takes A Trip To Heavy Metal

6:00 PM on Fri Mar 28 2008
By Slut Machine
17,346 views, 64 comments

toy stories

How Do You Dispose Of Broken Vibrators?

A story on Utne about "green" sex toys the other day got me wondering: how exactly does one get rid of a sex toy? Particularly the large ones, meant for those who mean business? I used to have a humongous Dr. Scholl's personal massager that my ex-BF's mom gave him for Christmas one year after he started weight-training. (Weird, I know.) Naturally, I called dibs on it and used it as my main vibe for years, long after we'd broken up. Then, one day, it started sparking, turned black, and conked out so I ripped the cord out of the wall, in fear that it might start a fire. When I walked it out to the kitchen and stepped on my trashcan pedal to throw it out, I realized that the vibe was almost as long as the garbage. (I'm not kidding, I measured it and it was a little over 18" long.) And then it hit me: maybe I should be put it out on the curb on the "large electronics and metal" recycling day. As a substantial piece of machinery, it seemed like it qualified! More »

5:30 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Slut Machine
7,931 views, 85 comments

Latest by MsFeasance: @MsFeasance: But make sure you bleach 'em first. more »

DIY Porno For the aspiring film director, the Make Your Own Erotic Movie Game: Doctors and Nurses edition provides three scripts and set ups for people to make their own hospital-themed pornos. [Love Honey via Shiny Shiny]

37 comments

test drives

Sexual Chocolate: Testing The Clone-A-Willy Kit

Clone-A-Willy kits enable you to make penis-shaped chocolate pops, candles, or soap from a mold you create out of a real-live boner. I've used a DIY dildo kit before, but the dildo it made was so fucking disgusting looking — all pock-marked like Edward James Olmos — and it smelled like it would give me cancer. But it didn't matter because I don't even ever masturbate with dildos anyway. The Clone-a-Willy kits, however, make products that I can at least put to good use. So the other week, I ordered all three of those kits, plus some Clone-a-Pussy kits to make vulva chocolate and last night, invited a friend (and his penis) over to help me out. (Some stuff after the jump NSFW.) More »

5:20 PM on Thu Feb 28 2008
By Slut Machine
79,000 views, 138 comments

Latest by doggotmyshoes: Slut Machine you are my goddess! I'm ordering. And clearly the doggie wants a weiner, so would somebody give the dog a treat already? But yo hoho, you shoulda shaved maybe? before the thang mold? so more »

There's a company called Rent-a-Dildo, which is kinda like Netflix for sex toys, in which people pay a monthly subscription fee, choose what they want sent to them — the product list has a range of anal beads, cock rings, vibes, nipple clamps and "dildos in every shape, size, color, and material" — use the toys and then send mail them back. Major ew! Rent-a-Dildo says all its toys are safe, as it has a "patent-pending process for thoroughly cleaning each toy. As these ladies say, it has to be a joke. Right? [Rent-a-Dildo via Feminist Law Professors]

90 comments

Check it out: There's actually something called the Oral Sex Light. We're not exactly sold on the sexiness of this product only because we're not so sure if getting head should feel like a cross between a pelvic exam and Madonna's Blond Ambition tour, but to each his own. [Inventor Spot]

66 comments

bad vibes

Vibrating Cock Rings Stimulate Conversation More Than Clits

I think it's kinda cool that those disposable vibrating cock rings have made it into the mainstream, and are being advertised on TV and sold in drug stores. The NY Observer has an article all about the growing popularity of the disposable vibe rings, sold by various condom companies for about $10 a pop. But something about the Observer's coverage irked me because although almost all the women interviewed raved about the product, in reality, it sucks. I should know — I've tried about $200 worth of them! More »

4:40 PM on Wed Jan 30 2008
By Slut Machine
9,289 views, 99 comments

Latest by paperface: i actually like the durex ribbed condoms but those are the only ones i have found that i even notice. more »

toy stories

Glove Affair: Testing The Fukuoku Five Finger Vibrator

One of the sex toys I picked up at the Adult Entertainment Expo last week was the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. The packaging claims it was created from "the secrets of the Orient" but I actually got it from an booth where a blond middle-aged woman in a slutty police uniform was wearing the glove and using it on people's necks and backs. Having been on my feet in heeled boots all day and with a bag that weighed 25 lbs, the Massage Glove felt like heaven when she placed it beneath my shoulder blades. The glove comes in versions for both the right and left hands, and there's a vibe in each finger, with two adjustable speeds. There's also a little pocket for the battery pack, so there's no bulky appendage or wires to get in the way, making the product seemingly perfect for partner sex. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof? Yeah. So, the other night, I ran a bath, grabbed my Fukuoku and put my hand to work. More »

2:30 PM on Thu Jan 17 2008
By Slut Machine
11,438 views, 131 comments

Latest by tikuahote: The Hitachi is sure a classic. Did you know you can get attachments for it? Those Fukuokos are just a bunch of hooey and good marketing. Noisy, uncomfortable and icky! more »

vegas, baby

You Never Forget Your First Time: My Day At The Adult Entertainment Expo

Please know that from here on out, most links will be NSFW, as are the images after the jump.

So, I arrived in Vegas last night for the Adult Entertainment Expo taking place this week, and the AVN Adult Movie Awards on Saturday night. It's my first time attending the convention and the awards — I'm still a virgin at something! — and Jonno from Jezebel brother site Fleshbot has been showing me the ropes. Today we worked the floor of the convention, which is full of booths of porn production companies and sex toy companies, and introduced me to a bunch of industry people he knows, so it sorta felt like this was my debut and I'm like a porn society deb or something. I've been keeping my pants on — so far. It's still light out here, and tonight is my first party and opportunity to meet some porno dudes, so things will probably change rapidly within the next few hours. (Fingers crossed, legs open!) However, I've already seen tons of stuff on the biz side of things today.

More »

8:30 PM on Thu Jan 10 2008
By Slut Machine
26,533 views, 122 comments

clips

Whoopi Goldberg Sees Nothing Wrong With Giving Her Daughter A Sex Toy


The wacky ladies at The View got to talking about vibrators this morning. Not just vibrators, but the idea of a mother giving one to her daughter. Guest host and country singer Sarah Evans said she was freaking out just thinking about it. Sherri Shepherd was predictably horrified/stupid, and Whoopi was all, "been there, done that." Laughtastic clip, above.

6:20 PM on Fri Dec 14 2007
By dodai
13,784 views, 93 comments

today in catalogs

Sur La Table: Expensive, Accidentally Sexy Cookware

Yup, it's a second Today In Catalogs. (We couldn't resist). Now up: Sur La Table, the culinary/cookware retailer that likes to think of itself as the "Art And Soul Of Cooking." We just got the holiday edition of the catalog, and after taking a quick glance, began to notice that the company is shilling kitchen items that could easily be confused for sex toys. (So it's all the funnier that Sur La Table is a fave of Oprah, and on a few occasions, her audience members were even "treated to gift bags filled with products" from the company.) After the jump, our dirty minds assign different, ahem, uses to upscale cookware. More »

3:40 PM on Fri Dec 14 2007
By Slut Machine
6,661 views, 55 comments

Latest by robut: englebert slaptyback is the one that makes me snort. i kind of want to have sex with eddie izzard. but in lady clothes, he's cuter in lady clothes. more »