Joni Ernst Responds to SOTU By Not Discussing It At All

Iowa senator and hog castrating enthusiast Joni Ernst delivered tonight's Republican response to the State of the Union standing in the Armed Services Committee Room and wearing camouflage heels for subtlety. Ernst elected not to respond to the SOTU at all, instead delivering something between a belated campaign ad… » 1/20/15 11:30pm 1/20/15 11:30pm

Tammy Duckworth Considers Challenging Mark Kirk For Senate Seat

Tammy Duckworth, first female double amputee in the Iraq war, first Asian-American woman elected to represent Illinois in the House, and, most recently, first-time mom, has announced that she's mulling a run for Senate in 2016. For followers (or rueful watchers) of both Illinois and national politics, this is very… » 1/19/15 4:50pm 1/19/15 4:50pm

Did Barbara Boxer Drop a Hillary 2016 Hint In Her Retirement Video?

Senator Barbara Boxer announced today that after 2016, she will end her long and illustrious career in the US Senate. To announce this, she released a very awkward video that included a seemingly random cameo by her grandson, a poem, and a stated desire to "make history" with the 2016 Democratic nominee for President… » 1/08/15 2:15pm 1/08/15 2:15pm

On Their First Day Back, Congress Introduces Abortion Ban

Never ones to waste a second in their unending quest to fuck you over, on the first day of the new Congress, House Republicans re-introduced a bill to ban abortion after 20 weeks. It'll pass, and then it'll go to the Senate, where it'll also pass, and then it'll go to the president, who will veto it. This is a solid,… » 1/07/15 3:30pm 1/07/15 3:30pm

Someone Please Help Nancy Pelosi Escape This John Boehner Kiss

Ohio Republican and man-sized Oompa Loompa John Boehner was re-elected today to his third term as speaker for the House of Representatives, despite some two dozen fractious Tea Partiers voting against him for not being anti-Obama enough. To celebrate, Boehener gave Nancy Pelosi the most uncomfortable kiss in the… » 1/06/15 5:20pm 1/06/15 5:20pm

Republicans Will Use Senate Majority to Push 20-Week Abortion Ban

Good, great, now this is happening: the GOP plans to use its new majority in the Senate to try to pass a federal ban on abortion after 20 weeks. The idea, of course, is to inch ever-closer to overturning Roe v. Wade, because this is the party of small government and minimal interference into the private lives of… » 12/08/14 2:50pm 12/08/14 2:50pm

Bleeding Heart Dream Woman Elizabeth Warren Voted to Senate Leadership

Ever since she first rose to national prominence, all of my most tree huggingly liberal friends and family members have been positively giddy about the idea of a Democratic Party helmed by people who think and act like Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, a sharp and staunch advocate for the middle class. Well, as… » 11/13/14 6:30pm 11/13/14 6:30pm

What Are We Going to Do About Incumbents We Hate? Not a Goddamn Thing

Poll after humorously pathetic poll this year has suggested that Congress is about as popular as a temporary but debilitating illness (it sucks, but it's fun to wake up in a hospital room full of flowers!). So why don't Americans just do the sensible thing and vote out incumbents? Because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, that's why. » 11/10/14 5:30pm 11/10/14 5:30pm

Male Senator Has Never Seen Sexism in the Senate, So It Must Not Exist

His name is Ron Johnson, he comes from Wisconsin, and he thinks that his Senate colleague Kirsten Gillibrand should either expose the identities of the men who harassed her about her body or shut up about sexism. After all, Senator Ron Johnson (a man) has never seen sexism during his time in the Senate. Therefore,… » 9/03/14 4:00pm 9/03/14 4:00pm

Todd Akin Went On TV To Talk About Rape Again. It Did Not Go Well.

Todd Akin has made several legitimate mistakes over the course of his flaccid political career. Appearing on MSNBC today to say more stupid shit about rape was among them, and judging by his apparent dogged wrongness in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it won't be the last. » 7/17/14 2:00pm 7/17/14 2:00pm

Seth Rogen's Congressional Alzheimer's Testimony Is Goddamn Delightful

Yesterday, Seth Rogen testified before a Senate subcommittee, pleading for more awareness of and support for Alzheimer's research. It was — like most things Rogen does — endearing as hell. But unlike the characters Rogen typically plays, it was also brave, altruistic, and kind of badass. » 2/27/14 10:40am 2/27/14 10:40am