Today’s MVP is this dolphin, who wins a gold medal for stealing an iPad from a Sea World patron and then frolicking and splashing with celebratory glee.

Shortly following SeaWorld’s long-awaited announcement on Thursday that it will finally end its absurdly inhumane orca breeding program, the Associated Press interviewed some visitors to the park, who were bummed that “the kids” wouldn’t get to stare at psychologically damaged animals up close anymore.

SeaWorld announced Thursday morning that it will ends its program breeding killer whales in captivity. The news comes about a week after the park admitted that Tilikum, the orca depicted in the documentary Blackfish, is in failing health.

Tilikum, the 12,000-pound orca whose captivity at SeaWorld (and other various sea parks) was scrutinized in the 2013 documentary Blackfish, is suffering from a chronic bacterial infection in his lungs that’s become increasingly harder to treat, according to SeaWorld veterinarians.

A baby sea lion was discovered living my life at a restaurant in California, doing absolutely nothing while waiting for a chance to enjoy a good meal at a fancy place for once.

The scenario earlier today at SeaWorld checks off many of the qualifications of torture: being trapped in a giant elevator suspended 200 feet in the air for two hours—while hearing nothing but “Winter Wonderland” as news ‘copters fly around capturing the horror.

Several of the biggest theme parks in the United States are increasing their security measures because of recent mass shootings and terrorist attacks occurring, uh, everywhere, constantly. Disneyland, Universal Studios, Disney World, and SeaWorld will all start using metal detectors; Disney World is also banning the…

The good news: SeaWorld announced on Monday that its San Diego park will phase out their killer whale show by 2017. The bad news: those same orcas will continue to perform in a similarly shitty but vigorously re-branded version of the current show, with “experiences that look more natural in the environment.” Oh, word?

After a long day of speeches, the California Coastal Commission voted to ban captive whale breeding in SeaWorld’s San Diego park, as well as to significantly restrict the movement of whales in and out of the park. These were set as conditions for the approval of SeaWorld’s $100 million habitat expansion, which…

SeaWorld released its most recent quarterly report on Thursday, and it’s pretty funny, as quarterly reports go!

Joanna Krupa, model and star of The Real Housewives of Miami, has recently pulled out all the stops—AKA her boobs and vagina—for a campaign against SeaWorld. It’s so good to finally be able to laugh about orca captivity, right?! Thanks, PETA!

Horrifying: Since 2006, at least 35 Disney employees have been arrested and "accused of sex crimes involving children, trying to meet a minor for sex, or for possession of child pornography." 32 have been convicted.