Colbert: 'Apparently Kid' Is Coming for America's News Professionals

Redheaded five-year-old news prodigy Noah Ritter continued his takeover of the American media last night, getting his very own Colbert Report segment. The theme? This kid is fully qualified to seize any TV journalism gig he wants. "He's already breaking the story of how the super slide is half death-scaring our… » 8/07/14 10:40am 8/07/14 10:40am

Seemingly Drunk Alaska Woman Has Angry Thoughts on Obama's 'Mom Jeans'

Sarah Palin — America's drunkest conservative aunt — sat down with Sean Hannity (America's blowhard-iest Irish uncle) recently to talk about Russia's deployment of troops in Ukraine, a situation she warned you liberals and democrats about over four years ago, only to be met with LAUGHTER and MOCKING. (To be fair, it… » 3/04/14 1:10pm 3/04/14 1:10pm

Jon Stewart and New York City Hilariously Beg Sean Hannity Not to Move

Oh, no! Conservative talk show host Sean Hannity doesn't feel welcome in his home state after New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated that those who are "right-to-life, pro-assault-weapon, anti-gay" no longer are welcome here and now Hannity is threatening to move to Florida or Texas! What will the people of New York… » 1/28/14 6:40pm 1/28/14 6:40pm

Glenn Beck Threatens to Put All Your Most Hated People In One Room

Ever wondered what hanging out in Hell would feel like? Then, boy, do I have good news for you! Glistening tear biscuit Glenn Beck has recently teased that he is organizing a conservative summit that might include the likes of Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. All under one roof! Oh, and the chairs will be… » 12/18/13 3:30pm 12/18/13 3:30pm

Being a Myopic Dick About the Election Cost Sean Hannity Half His…

Oh, Sean "Don't Worry, Frightened Elderlies, We'd Never Reelect a Colored!" Hannity. It pleases me to laugh at you! All the bizarre, insulated right-wing media rhetoric—which straight-facedly predicted a landslide win for Romney—is coming back to bite them where it hurts a conservative the most. In the dick money. » 1/01/13 1:00pm 1/01/13 1:00pm

Obama Campaign's Female Spokesperson Making Conservatives Basically Rip…

Stephanie Cutter is one of the Obama campaign's more visible faces this election cycle. Her calm, slightly exasperated/smug countenance occasionally shows up on the teevee to refute conservative SuperPAC email forwards that feature Barack Obama photoshopped into the background of natural disasters (Sample Cutter:… » 10/23/12 5:00pm 10/23/12 5:00pm

Hillary Clinton Masterminding the Bin Laden Raid Is a Fun Idea But…

A new book written by a guy who almost definitely doesn't want Barack Obama to be reelected claims that while Barack Obama nancy-danced around issuing final orders to carry out the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, in the end, it was Secretary of State Hillary Clinton who led the charge to kill the terrorist… » 8/22/12 11:00am 8/22/12 11:00am

Barack Obama Was Also a Bully, Shriek Conservative Pundits Who Didn't…

In President Obama's book, Dreams from my Father, he recounts a playground incident when he shoved a little girl named Coretta. This is exactly the same as that time Mitt Romney held down a gay kid and cutting his hair off and then saying you don't remember it but also apologizing, according to Sean Hannity. Do you… » 5/11/12 3:15pm 5/11/12 3:15pm

Great Moments in Not Knowing Shit About Birth Control

It's been a roller coaster ride of a year for women and their ladyparts, thanks in large part to people who know nothing about birth control trying to discuss the nuances of birth control. Here's a loving homage to those misguided blabbermouths muddying up the national conversation with confidently delivered… » 3/16/12 1:00pm 3/16/12 1:00pm

Sarah Palin's Got the Scoop on Barack Obama's Secret Slavery-Era…

Sarah Palin, in another attempt to break the bullshit land speed record, unleashed a particularly unhinged-sounding anti-Barack Obama rant on Sean Hannity's show yesterday. The former Alaska governor claimed, among other things, that the President was unvetted when he ran for office, that he's a radical, and that he… » 3/09/12 12:50pm 3/09/12 12:50pm

Sean Hannity And Ann Coulter Are More Fun Than A Barrel of…

Enraged conservative hedgehog Sean Hannity once again welcomed Ann Coulter to his show the other day, and the two had some pretty fun yuks about sexual harassment to wrap up their talk about politics. It's a shame that someone with as big a stage as Hannity can't come up with a better joke about on-the-job harassment,… » 11/16/11 2:25pm 11/16/11 2:25pm

Ann Coulter Likes Her Blacks Better Than Democrats' Blacks

Ann Coulter, voted Least Huggable American for 15 years straight, has taken a break from eating the faces of live kittens and marinating in an oil drum filled with her own bile to appear on Sean Hannity's Fox News show. During her appearance yesterday, she had some super complimentary things to say about Herman… » 11/01/11 3:10pm 11/01/11 3:10pm