Here Are the Most Painful Ways to Learn That Santa Doesn't Exist

I'm going to start with the story of how I learned that Santa didn't exist. It's not a happy story, as these types of stories generally aren't, but I'm laughing about it now. And I hope that the people whose stories were compiled into a list of painful revelations on Buzzfeed are laughing too. Or at least have a good… »12/24/14 5:00pm12/24/14 5:00pm

Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron's New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back

Let me tell you guys my idea of a perfect Christmas. You wake up like it's any other day—it might not feel like December 25, it might even feel like, say, August 27—you go to work, you eat your sandwich, you shoulder life's banality with the resignation of a much older woman, and then...someone sends you a link. You… »8/27/14 11:30pm8/27/14 11:30pm

BFFs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen Take World's Cutest Santa Photo

I'm pretty sure that the only thing on this earth that I love more than the best-friendship of Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen is their GODDAMN BOWLER HATS. Clearly the pair has gotten wise to the public's love, because they keep feeding us amazing pics of themselves wining and dining and kicking it and… »12/18/13 8:35pm12/18/13 8:35pm

Megyn Kelly Says White Santa Backlash Is Nothing But Race-Baiting

Remember last week when Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly insisted that Santa Claus was white? Well, it turns out that we should have been laughing this entire time because her comments were actually just a very well-constructed, not at all flawed and totally hilarious joke. Way to miss the punchline, IDIOTS. »12/16/13 11:50am12/16/13 11:50am

Thousands of Santas Take Part In Annual Bar Crawl Thru NYC

[NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 14: Revelers dressed as Santa Claus pose for a picture at Tompkins Square Park to take part during the annual SantaCon bar crawl event on December 14, 2013 in New York City. The SantaCon annual event occurs worldwide in more than 300 cities in 44 countries. In New York some community groups… »12/14/13 1:45pm12/14/13 1:45pm

Some Jerks Want to Put Santa Claus on a Diet 'For the Children'

I don't watch The Biggest Loser, because I am not entertained by inhumane misery factories that systematically force-feed fat people humiliation in the name of medically questionable body conformity and advertising megabucks. Just not my particular cup of power cleanse tea, per se. But apparently there was a dude on a… »12/24/12 7:00pm12/24/12 7:00pm

Drunk Man Arrested For Telling Kids Santa Isn't Real, Being Hella Drunk

In what we can only imagine was cosplay of Dan Aykroyd's break down in Trading Places, a 24-year-old Canadian man was arrested for being super drunk and screaming at kids about how Santa's a fraud. Probably the most pertinent part is the being drunk and on parole, but still. Best part, it all went down during a… »11/26/12 9:30am11/26/12 9:30am

How Exactly Does Santa Go Down All Those Chimneys In A Single Night?

We've all wondered how exactly Santa Claus manages to deliver toys to millions of children around the world in just a single night. His journey clearly defies all logic, and yet each year otherwise rational adults go to great lengths to preserve the image of Santa Claus as a chimney-diving hero for the younger folks… »12/22/11 5:45pm12/22/11 5:45pm

Absolutely Charming 100-Year-Old Letter To Santa Found In Chimney

While installing central heating in his Dublin, Ireland home, John Byrne found a letter to Santa Claus written in 1911 by two children, 10-year-old Hannah Howard and her 7-year-old brother Fred. The children placed the letter on a shelf inside their fireplace, and miraculously it remained there for decades and was… »12/21/11 10:15am12/21/11 10:15am

Salvation Army Santas Will Gladly Accept Your Credit Cards This Holiday Season

The Times reports that for the first time ever, the Salvation Army bell-ringers that stand outside of your local mall each year will be accepting more than just loose change — they'll swipe your credit card right on the spot. As the number of people who actually carry cash on them shrinks each year, the Salvation has… »11/16/11 5:00pm11/16/11 5:00pm