I'm pretty sure that the only thing on this earth that I love more than the best-friendship of Sirs Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen is their GODDAMN BOWLER HATS. Clearly the pair has gotten wise to the public's love, because they keep feeding us amazing pics of themselves wining and dining and kicking it and…
Remember last week when Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly insisted that Santa Claus was white? Well, it turns out that we should have been laughing this entire time because her comments were actually just a very well-constructed, not at all flawed and totally hilarious joke. Way to miss the punchline, IDIOTS.
I know this is a cheesy marketing move meant to capitalize on my uterus (where I store my emotions! and candy! and seven remaining eggs!), but I DON'T CARE I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
[NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 14: Revelers dressed as Santa Claus pose for a picture at Tompkins Square Park to take part during the annual SantaCon bar crawl event on December 14, 2013 in New York City. The SantaCon annual event occurs worldwide in more than 300 cities in 44 countries. In New York some community groups…
Ho ho ho, you're an idiot.
There's a school in Michigan where Santas learn makeup application, reindeer maintenance, and how to keep elves from unionizing. What's more, these Kris Kringles come from all over the world — and many of them have attended the school multiple times. That's what Santa-style dedication looks like, muggles.
I don't watch The Biggest Loser, because I am not entertained by inhumane misery factories that systematically force-feed fat people humiliation in the name of medically questionable body conformity and advertising megabucks. Just not my particular cup of power cleanse tea, per se. But apparently there was a dude on a…
In what we can only imagine was cosplay of Dan Aykroyd's break down in Trading Places, a 24-year-old Canadian man was arrested for being super drunk and screaming at kids about how Santa's a fraud. Probably the most pertinent part is the being drunk and on parole, but still. Best part, it all went down during a parade …
We've all wondered how exactly Santa Claus manages to deliver toys to millions of children around the world in just a single night. His journey clearly defies all logic, and yet each year otherwise rational adults go to great lengths to preserve the image of Santa Claus as a chimney-diving hero for the younger folks…
While installing central heating in his Dublin, Ireland home, John Byrne found a letter to Santa Claus written in 1911 by two children, 10-year-old Hannah Howard and her 7-year-old brother Fred. The children placed the letter on a shelf inside their fireplace, and miraculously it remained there for decades and was only …
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 10: Revelers dressed as Santa Claus sing near Battery Park during the annual SantaCon event December 10, 2011 in New York City. SantaCon is a mass gathering of revelers dressed as Santa Claus who take to the streets in cities across the country before Christmas. (Photo by Allison Joyce/Getty…
BERLIN, GERMANY - NOVEMBER 26: Volunteer Santas attend their annual meeting at the Komoedie am Kurfuerstedamm theater on November 26, 2011 in Berlin, Germany. The event was organized by Studentenwerk Berlin, a student organization at the city's technical university (Technische Universitaet Berlin), that sends out…
The Times reports that for the first time ever, the Salvation Army bell-ringers that stand outside of your local mall each year will be accepting more than just loose change — they'll swipe your credit card right on the spot. As the number of people who actually carry cash on them shrinks each year, the Salvation has…
Sydney, December 25: English tourist Mark Meagher, center, dives to hit a volleyball to his mates while celebrating Christmas Day at Bondi beach. Stupid jerks with their sunshine and their relaxation. (Image via AP)
As soon as I saw the headline "In Our House, There's No Santa Claus" my heart sank with the knowledge of an impending conflagration. Santa is a highly charged issue!
Check out this great treasury of holiday Santa-political awkwardness, because nothing says "Christmas" like Nancy Reagan flirting with Mr. T.
Last year, a "strippermobile" full of exotic dancers sparked controversy in Vegas. But this year, the owners filled the vehicle with Santas who gave out gifts to kids. Says the AP, "There was no gyrating or pole dancing this time."
If you're in North Carolina and you see a big bearded dude in a red suit about to accost you, perhaps you should let him. He might be trying to hand you a hundo.
Tomorrow is the first day of December, and we're already being inundated with Christmas crap! Here's a handy buyers guide.
LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 25: A man dressed as Santa Claus looks out from a cage during a photocall to promote the film 'Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale' at Carnaby Street. (Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images)
