Rihanna Rihport: Someone Free Rihzus From This Haunted House & Demon Children!

Rihanna is the most important millennial of our time. The Rihanna Rihport is where we breathlessly chronicle the magnitude of her lived existence.
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard Really Really Really Like Christmas
What War on Christmas? If you live in Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard's home, it's the best holiday of the year (to buy Samsung). This commercial includes Kristen Bell rocking a onesie while very pregnant, a state that Shepard told Us Weekly was "like sleeping next to a giant wounded elk who's been hit by a semi and…
Samsung Thinks Women Will Fall for a Creep With a Nice Watch
Between the royalty-free stock music playing in the background, the whole goddamn narrative of a dude's robot-watch helping him 'get the girl,' and the fact that this commercial goes on for more than two minutes, I can't tell which part of this Samsung Galaxy Gear ad makes my right eye twitch more.
But really, who…
Samsung Introduces You to the Perfect Husband/Domestic Servant
An ad for Samsung’s wide world of evolved televisions featuring a dimwitted couch-bound husband transformed into a domestic servant marionette has drawn cries (mostly from MRAs on Reddit, but also now from Fox News) of sexism. Probably a fair critique, although Adweek’s David Gianatasio doesn’t think the outrage is …
Samsung Introduces Brand New Space Phone with Lots of Old Sexist Jokes
The better to introduce its new Galaxy S IV space phone to the public, Samsung hired a troupe of actors to perform several cheesy, poorly-written burlesques about the phone's appeal across the sundry demographics that comprise the American space phone purchasing contingent. This went on for about an hour, according to…
You Can Look Forward to Playing a Workplace Version of the Hunger Games
Finding a job is hard enough these days. Then once you've got one, you've got to work your ass off while also dealing with office politics and annoying coworkers. Well, it's about to get even worse for some of you, because there's a growing trend among companies of encouraging their employees to compete in "fun"…
British GQ Features Naomi Campbell Nude, Floating In A Pool
- GQ promises its story will explain what the hell, exactly, Campbell was thinking on the stand at Charles Taylor's trial, but we're not expecting much given the mag didn't press Campbell on the subject during their last interview. [GQ UK]
Target Reneges On Promise To End Anti-Gay Donations
- After Target, which styles itself an LGBT-friendly employer, was caught giving thousands to rabidly anti-gay political candidates, it said it would stop. Well: Target has since given over $30,000 to anti-gay-rights candidates and causes. [The Awl]
Lady Gaga And Her Meat Dress Top 2010 Fashion "Moments"
- Lady Gaga's meat dress was named the top fashion moment of 2010 by the sartorial sages at Time, closely followed by M.I.A.'s burqa, and Venus Williams' lingerie-inspired French Open get-up. Let's discuss. [Time]
Unretouched Marion Cotillard Graces Cover Of Italian VF
- Marion Cotillard was shot, and apparently not retouched, by Bruce Weber for the cover of Italian Vanity Fair. Certainly it's preferable to that hackjob of a Vogue cover she was subjected to, but isn't the pose a bit awkward? [HuffPo]
Project Runway, Now With More Bon Jovi
- OMG Bon Jovi is the motherfucking guest judge on Project Runway tonight! [Fashion Week Daily]
- What's this? Heidi Klum says that Seal used to design and sew his own clothes?! [Sassybella]
- Jones Apparel Group is saying au revoir to the Isabel Toledo-designed Anne Klein Collection despite the fact that fans and critics…
Designers Dialing For Dollars
Portfolio says the new Prada LG phone has sold over 300,000 units since March, which could be more than the iPhone! Rumors swirl that an Armani Samsung is not far behind. Uh, maybe not? Anyway, you know what would be awesome? A cheap, colorful, hypertrendy H&M phone! It might break in six weeks but you could just go…
Smart Phones, Foolish Women
A new survey commissioned by electronics-giant Samsung proves what we've suspected all along: Cell phones are making women stupid! (Yes, yes, they make men stupid too, but this was a study about women so work with us!) In addition to promoting obnoxious, inane, usually-pointless conversations in public places like…
