The BBC radio program Don’t Make Me Laugh has landed in hot water thanks to some rather vulgar jokes about Queen Elizabeth II. And during her birthday celebrations, at that.

On this day in 1982, Prince William made his first public appearance. If you could call it that, considering he could’ve easily been mistaken for a blanket-wrapped butternut squash.

This past weekend brought yet another round of 90th birthday celebration for Queen Elizabeth II, as the royal family gathered on the balcony of Buckingham Palace for the annual “Trooping the Colour” military parade. That includes Princess Charlotte, who looked deeply unconvinced by the whole affair.

The United Kingdom is once again going digging for a dead king. This time they’re looking for Henry I, son of William the Conquerer, said to have died after eating too many lampreys. How many rotting royals have you lot misplaced over there?

You might not know it, given Will & Kate & Co.’s primacy in English-language media, but there are European royal families besides the Windsors. For instance, the Swedish house of Bernadotte, which includes a princess who was once a reality TV star.

Does it seem like you see 95-year-old Prince Phillip lots more than you see Prince William or his stylish wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge? That’s because you do—the two young royals have essentially spent the last year rusticating with their children. They are living that English countryside life and could not be…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we flip through the tabloids while thinking about other things, like what to get for lunch, which—seeing as how I have no leftovers in the office fridge nor the appetite for something healthy like a salad—will likely be in the form of a burrito bowl from the fast-casual chain of all…

The Royal Horticultural Society’s annual Chelsea Flower Show is getting underway in the United Kingdom, and today press and VIPs got a special preview of the elaborate, often whimsical gardens. The Queen was there, as well as assorted other royals and also cake queen Mary Berry.

Royal children might be tiny economic powerhouses, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love to cause a classic brain-crushing racket.

In a couple of weeks, Orlando will play host to the 2016 Invictus Games, an international athletic competition for injured vets founded by Prince Harry and with which he is very involved. To drum up enthusiasm, Harry is publicly beefing with the Obamas on Twitter.

We all have those well-meaning, but slightly clueless white friends. You know, the ones who force you to explain that actually, you don’t have to say “African American.” “Black” is just fine. Really! It is! That’s what we call ourselves! Duchess Kate and Prince William were apparently those friends when their buddies …

Five years ago, Kate Middleton married Prince William in a stunning gown by Alexander McQueen creative director Sarah Burton, which almost managed to sell a generation of brides on sleeves. But now another designer has filed suit, alleging that dress was based on her uncredited work.

There are two possibilities, here.

Today is Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th birthday. Wherever she goes, there are enthusiasts swathed in flags and sporting extreme hats and toting the occasional dog, and so naturally, there was quite a crowd waiting outside Windsor Castle Thursday morning to wish her well.

To mark Queen Elizabeth II’s 90th birthday tomorrow, she sat for a portrait with her heirs, her son, grandson, and great-grandson, who was styled like a schoolboy circa 1906 and standing on a stack of what appear to be foam blocks wrapped in a very nice ribbon.

Here is a very good royal rumor: As a young man, Prince Charles had an enormous crush on Barbra Streisand.

Of course she doesn’t.

Hon?

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we find ourselves slightly disappointed by the tabloids because last week’s were so much fun, but sort of happy to see surprising names like “Audrey Faith Perry Hill” on the cover of Star.

A refrigerator dating back to 1954 that once belonged to Queen Elizabeth II’s mother has passed its annual electrical inspection to certify it’s in proper working order. Congrats to everyone involved.