There's a Chance Another Royal Baby Is On the Way

Don't freak out or anything, but people are going nuts over cheeky monkey Prince William dropping a hint that there might be another lil' royal soon. More accurately, they're going nuts because Prince William, who is still on that Royal Tour in Australia and New Zealand with Kate and George, said something that… » 4/13/14 11:30am 4/13/14 11:30am

Prince Harry's Maybe-Future-Fiancée Is Made Of Mystery and Scrunchies

Cressida Bonas is dating Prince Harry. This ostensibly makes her interesting, or, at least, more interesting than a Normal like you or I, and ostensibly means that now, in anticipation of her possibly marrying Prince Harry at some indeterminate point in the future, there are Facts about her that we must know.… » 12/26/13 6:30pm 12/26/13 6:30pm

Imprison the Royal Family and Abolish the Monarchy

As the world waits with bated breath for the emergence of the latest—and cutest—member of the British Royal Family, allow us to put forth a gentle reminder: In a just world, this innocent child would be going up for adoption, since its family would have been imprisoned for crimes against humanity. » 7/22/13 5:50pm 7/22/13 5:50pm

Kate Middleton Probably Giving Birth, Like, Right Now [UPDATED]

OMG OMG OMG OMG Princess Shinylocks herself Kate Middleton was reportedly just picked up from her parents' home in a helicopter Buckleberry by car and is currently en route to the hospital where her royal loins will produce THE ROYAL BABY and we will collectively shit our peasant pants in celebration. That's a… » 7/19/13 12:26pm 7/19/13 12:26pm

Even Queen Elizabeth Is Sick of Waiting for the Royal Baby

Look, Queen Elizabeth has a lot to do. She's the Queen of fucking England, which means she can't just wait around for weeks on end while waiting for the birth of a great grandchild. She's got same sex marriage to legalize, fancy hats to wear and corgis that need feeding. Most importantly, she has a vacation planned… » 7/17/13 11:35am 7/17/13 11:35am

This New Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Profile Is Kind Of Depressing As Shit

Among the more high-profile women who seem frustratingly unwilling to grasp what feminism actually is, the former French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy — who garnered criticism when she told Vogue Paris last year that the country didn't need feminism anymore and that she herself wasn't a feminist — discussed the… » 6/01/13 5:30pm 6/01/13 5:30pm

Queen Faces Pay Cut, Starts Hoarding Corgis

Thanks to British austerity measures, the Queen is facing a pay freeze through 2015 that would bring her income to about $48 million per year, down from a high of $125 million in 1991. Though ramen will not be appearing in the kitchen at Buckingham Palace, the cut backs will still have an effect on the royal family.… » 12/05/11 9:30am 12/05/11 9:30am

Not Even Kate Middleton's Scalp Is Safe

Poor Kate. This week marked her very first solo engagement as a Royal when she filled in for Prince Charles at a charity event — she did wonderfully, apparently, and her gown was lovely and all that. BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT HORRIBLE GIANT SCAR? What, you've not noticed the barely visible mark, which is maybe a scar on… » 10/28/11 2:25pm 10/28/11 2:25pm

Kate Middleton Looked At Her Wedding Dress With The Queen

Kate Middleton's Alexander McQueen wedding dress, along with her veil, shoes and jewelry, goes on public display at Buckingham Palace starting tomorrow. Middleton and her grandmother-in-law just checked out the exhibition, which we know because the Official Royal Twitterer (The Lady Of The Tweets? The Keeper Of Her… » 7/22/11 12:12pm 7/22/11 12:12pm