There's a new-ish sub-genre of romance novels written by and for ladies who love to get dirty — both literally and figuratively. Deemed "Rural Romance", the novels are most popular in Australia, where publishers are furiously adding collections of agricultural sexiness to their rosters.

If you've never read a historical romance novel — sometimes called "bodice rippers" — you might think they are full of retro and regressive tropes: The woman is almost always a young, delicate, virginal flower; the man is almost always older, experienced, a scoundrel and dominant brute. If you have delved into the genre…

Everyone knows that only women are qualified to write romance novels, right? Men are supposed to be writing books about sharks or beer, DOY. Sadly, we're not so far from the days when Mary Anne Evans had no choice but to take on the nom de plume George Eliot in order to be taken seriously as a writer (although this…

You knew Fifty Shades of Grey was bad, but did you know that it's so bad that it's actually ruining other novels with its success? Clandestine Classics, a publisher of erotic e-books, will soon be releasing all of your favorite romance classics, such as Pride & Prejudice, Jane Eyre and Sherlock Holmes, with added Fifty…

Ladies, be careful. Your romance novels may be driving you insane.

America's collective jubilation over the death of the leader of al Qaeda has evolved into fascination with the men (and dog) who successfully pulled off one of the Jason Bourne-iest operations in recent memory. Of course, now everyone wants to know what it would be like to have sex with them*.

It may get no respect, but romance remains the unshakable backbone of the publishing industry, has stayed adaptable and current, and is moving confidently into the digital age. Says one analyst, "it's such a huge category with such a loyal following. I'd be very surprised if the category ever dropped out of the top…

I'm not saying some of them aren't gross — but there are great ones out there, oh yes indeed.

"Talk to them like humans and don't be a jerk," conclude the writers, "Just like dudes in romance novels."

...or quivering core! For the first time, you can get a same-sex personalized romance novel! But whatever way you swing, now you can be the star of some seriously purple prose.