Like that part on a baby's head where if you drop them they die, there is a dangerously soft spot in my heart for Sarah Michelle Gellar because, like many of us, I consumed four seasons worth of Buffy The Vampire Slayer at an impressionable braces-wearing age. And also: Cruel Intentions! Nothing wrong with that.

Contrary to yesterday's rumors, Robert Pattinson is not on a train, on a boat, on a plane, in a moat, or partying in London. He is, in fact, crouching behind some bushes in Reese Witherspoon's Ojai, California ranch (literal, not metaphor) until this whole "world knowing your girlfriend cheated on you" thing blows over.

In this promo for the Academy Awards, you'll see decidedly non-Oscar-worthy performances by Josh Duhamel, Megan Fox, Vinnie Jones, William Fichtner, Oscar-winner Robin Williams and, of course, Billy Crystal, who gets all Princess Bride with it, because that is such a hot, current reference. Ugh, Christ, this is not…

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 20: L-R Robin Williams, Sofia Vergara and Elijah Wood attend the European premiere of Happy Feet Two at The Empire Leicester Square on November 20, 2011 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Dave Hogan/Getty Images)

• Victoria Beckham is "fattening herself up" so that she can get pregnant.

• Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio were seen deep in conversation at Hollywood hot spot Trousdale on Tuesday night.

• Chances are you've never been to a christening like this: Today Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman became the godparents of Rupert Murdoch's two youngest daughters, who are six and eight, at a baptism ceremony held next to the River Jordan.

• Last week, Us Weekly declined to publish a photograph picturing Jesse James doing a "Heil Hitler" gesture. But this week, guess who's running the picture?

• The L.A. Coroner's office released a preliminary report today declaring that Brittany Murphy's death was accidental. She died of a combination of pneumonia, anemia, and "multiple drug intoxication."