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Rob Lowe Needs a New Personal Assistant, and the Job Listing He Allegedly Posted Is Truly Bonkers

If I got a job as Rob Lowe’s personal assistant, I would expect certain things from day one. Things like occasionally being splattered with self-tanner, weekly scoldings for buying the wrong brand of almond milk, and late-night phone calls from Winona Ryder. (He’d be like, “TELL HER I’M DEAD,” then I’d tell her he’s…

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