I had a girlfriend who worked in a swimwear store and had a very beautiful, curvy body.
Next to the slender teen co-workers, she stood out, but she said that she made probably 50% more sales than everyone else combined, because women were much more comfortable taking advice about bathing suits from a woman with boobs and a butt than a seventeen year old surfboard.
I cannot tell a lie. They intimidate the hell out of me. Hell, teenage girls in the mall intimidate me with their little skinny bodies poured into jeans I wish I had at that age. I think in my case it's a double whammy of generational gap and low self esteem. When I was a senior in h.s., we were wearing plaid flannel, baggy jeans and docs. And now i'm 34 and everything hangs differently. I am NOT starving myself for fashion, that's for sure. I just wished sometimes the salespeople looked like actual, normal people and not models.
I'm not bothered by good-looking sales people. I feel like I am an attractive person too. However, I do feel a little flustered when shopping in a store where all the sales staff are petite. I'm a tall, large-framed person and even when I am thin, I still need at least a size 10 to fit my shoulders. So, I do feel awkward in boutique-type stores where a 10 might be one of the largest sizes. I've never had sales staff act nasty but I still feel awkward in that situation. I remember trying to buy a particular Anna Sui dress once and finding that the 10 was too tight in the bust. I asked for a 12 and the staff called around and found that Anna Sui didn't make anything larger than a 10 in that dress. I ended up buying a different Anna Sui dress (also size 10) that fit my bust better, and while I didn't feel overtly judged for being "large", it was clear that the women at the boutique didn't feel like there was any need to carry clothing that would fit women that weren't small-framed with smallish busts. There are definitely stores where it is unusual to see anyone larger than a 4 or 6 on the sales staff, even if the store sells sizes 14 and 16. I don't feel like smaller women are inherently more attractive than larger ones, and the lack of diversity bothers me. It feels intentional.
It's not their attractiveness that bugs me, it's whether or not they even acknowledge my existence.
I go to the make-up counter at Nordstom's in The Grove. If I'm not with my husband, I'm always ignored. But as soon as he joins me there's a sales girl, all perky, asking HIM if he needs any help.
However, one time I went during the day on a work day and the sales girls were all over me. I had to beat them off w/my son's empty bottle. I guess they figured that if I was shopping with a kid during a work day, I must be a SAHM and if I'm a SAHM, I must have $$ right?
@jairip: This happens to me all the time in LA! If I'm alone, I'm invisible. If my husband walks in with me (long haired musician looking type often in ratty t-shirts), they treat me like royalty. WTF? Drives me nuts.
LA is worse about this than anywhere I've ever been.
I think as you get older you stop giving a crap about, well, crap. I'm worried about household finances, an insect infestation, health issues, what I'm going to make for dinner, why my genetics lab cultures won't quit producing beta-galactosidase, etc. So what if the saleslady is prettier than me? She also has a shittier job.
True story- once I walked into one of those super-trendy boutiques, a place I had never been before, to find that I was the only shopper in the place. The saleslady was really friendly, no judgment at all, even though I was getting my grubby hands all over the flawless clothes. I asked how much the jacket I was holding cost, and she said it was over $1000 dollars. I literally said "GAH!" and dropped the thing on the floor. And then, embarrassed at my faux pas, backed straight out the door, wide-eyed. Good enough reason for me to be intimidated by any place that's a little upscale, right?
I just started work in a really upscale independant lingerie boutique (God, I work in a boutique? I do not yet know how this came to be. I cannot even afford to shop at a boutique) and I was really worried because the other sales girls are all glam and femmy and pretty and as I worked there I realised that they may be somewhat intimidating in appearance they are super sweet girls. And that in the makeup and girly clothes that the owner requires us to wear....I have become a glammy fem-bot!
I don't really think I'm traditionally pretty enough to be like, heart-stoppingly intimidating, but I hope my shyness and awkwardness in heels keeps me from giving off the "stone cold fem-bot" vibe. I don't want people to not ask me for help when they need it as I have done before...
I have more or less stopped shopping at malls because I hate dealing with salespeople entirely. They've just gotten way too pushy in recent years (and I realize that this is entirely corporate's fault, so I don't blame the retail workers!), and it's much less "helpful" and much more "obnoxious." No, I don't want you to help me "find" stuff I'll look good in. No, I don't want you to know my name and write it on my dressing room door so you can personalize your interactions with me. No, I don't want to tell you that my ass is too big for these pants, so can you get me an even bigger size, please. I just want to shop on my own and be done with it.
In my experience, I feel like the salespeople are judging me--and the snootier the store or the prettier/thinner the salesgirl, the more likely I'm going to feel like that. So the results of this study don't surprise me at all.
@nora charles: I *hate* when sales people get on you about your size, especially when you haven't asked them. If you come out of the dressing room and say, "hmmm this may be a bit tight, what do you think?' Then it's okay. But I find it really offensive when I reach up to the shelf for a pair of size X jeans and the salesclerk is all, "oh sweetie, why don't you try these Size X+3"
Also, the worst and most humiliating experience in my life: I was buying a bra at Victoria's Secret (which has problems, I know) that was a certain size. I had two of *exact* same bra in the *exact* same size, one purchased about 9 months ago and one purchased only 11 days before. The saleswoman asked me four, count em four times if I needed a fitting, and after politely responding "no" every time, she came over with a tape measure anyway, and said, "I can tell just by looking there's no way you're [band size here] you're too big." I then explained I had the same bra already, two differeny ones, and then she started in on how they stretch out, etc. I then explained that one was only purchased 11 days ago and it was perfect. She took the bra out of my hand and handed me one that was one band size bigger and 2 cup sizes smaller. I then explained, if you're trying to give me the "sister size" at the very least it should only be one sup size smaller. She looked down her nose at my chest and said, no, this is your size. I got *so* mad, obvs. I left without buying anything, which probably didn't teach her a lesson, and made me sad because I *love* that bra. lose, lose.
Also (anecdotal) in my experience in the retail sector I found that gay men outsold both women and straight men. I was told by them that the more they "turned it on" the higher their sales would be. I don't know if that is really on topic but it does put a spin on their findings.
@ZemarSea Urchin: I can see that. A woman trying on clothes might feel judged or competitive with a woman and like she needs to impress a straight man, whereas with a gay man there is no competition and no need to impress.
I know it's totally anecdotal and does not apply to anyone outside of me, but two of the best shopping experiences I had were at Sephora and J. Crew. Both times the associate was almost painfully, entrancingly pretty, but she also knew what she was doing. The Sephora associate helped me figure out makeup for the first time ever, and the J. Crew associate helped me pick out a dress (for a tony spring wedding) that, if I do say so myself, I totally rocked, despite my dislike of dresses in general.
For all I know they could have been mentally rolling their eyes at me, having to deal with a person who is not conventionally, or even unconventionally, attractive trying to play pretty for a day. But they were nice, incredibly helpful, and didn't push me to get the expensive thing that looked awful on me.
@wtfox?!: Sephora is great. While i always feel like i'm being watched, i also know that the salespeople can answer pretty much any question i could possibly have. And i can return anything, even used and without a receipt.
@weetziebat: I'm less intimidated by stunning sales associates at Sephora because their attitude is "Look at us, we look amazing, and we can SHOW YOU HOW." Not so much "We look amazing, so get out if you don't." I feel like they're staring not because I'm so gross, but because they're trying to figure out what they can sell me to fix my grossness.
@weetziebat: I wish I had experiences like this in Sephoras. Anytime I've ever gone in and asked a sales associate what color lipstick they think I should try I get a blank look and a "uh, the lipsticks are over there somewhere"
@colormeroutine: My first and only trip to a Sephora was the most terrible shopping experience of my life.
I wanted to try the Bare Minerals makeup, so I asked for a trial makeover. The incredibly attractive sales associate could barely hide her disgust at my adult acne skin. Then she announced (when I was horrified by the super-cakey, way too much makeup result), "well there really isn't ANY makeup we can suggest for your type of skin."
I practically sprinted back to the MAC boutique, and I will never, ever, no matter how great some other products might be, leave them again. Except for when I'm too broke, and then it's CVS. Regardless of how attractive they are, people who paint purple stars on their faces, or sport black lipstick just seem like they will take the traditional notion of flawless beauty a little less seriously. And yes, they do have decent products, even for my wretched skin.
for me, its not if i think the salesperson is more attractive, its when i feel like the store caters to a niche that i don't appear to belong to. for example, despite being very committed to buy organic/local whenever possible, i get mini-panic attacks when i walk into the co-op by my house. everyone there is very "granola-y" with the hemp clothes and and no makeup look. i feel soooo out of place in my bleach blonde, jcrew preppiness.
What really bothers me, as far as sales people go, is when I walk into an independent boutique because it looks cute and I really want to support a locally run business. However, the super trendy owner is too busy either playing with her dog/cat/animal of choice in the store or chatting on the phone. Then I feel like I'm not wanted in the store, and start judging myself - I'm obviously not the type of customer they want.
@electricbubbles: This is my problem in almost every boutique that I go into. I used to go into these little stores near my apartment and 9 times out of 10 I couldn't get the person working to pay attention to me if I took off my clothes and pranced around the store naked.
@electricbubbles: This is why I avoid shopping in manhattan. 90% of the time the store operators just dont seem to give a half a shit and exude this attitude of "opening this store only cost 30% of my trust fund anyway and as long as I look like I'm working my parents give me more"
This is not to say the boutiques in brooklyn are (significantly) less trust-funded, necessarily, but they usually at least have some enthusiasm
I don't have a problem with sales people being attractive, but when they are SUPER dresed up, full makeup, styled hair, it's off-putting. Especially if I've stumbled in on a whim cuz it's payday and they give you that look that kind of says "excuse me miss sweatypants, are you even going to be able yo buy anything?"
08/19/09
Next to the slender teen co-workers, she stood out, but she said that she made probably 50% more sales than everyone else combined, because women were much more comfortable taking advice about bathing suits from a woman with boobs and a butt than a seventeen year old surfboard.
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I'm working on a short story tentatively titled Escape from Banana Republic -- about a fat woman (me) dealing with a super gorgeous blonde salesgirl.
I'm trying to go for a comedic effect.
08/19/09
I go to the make-up counter at Nordstom's in The Grove. If I'm not with my husband, I'm always ignored. But as soon as he joins me there's a sales girl, all perky, asking HIM if he needs any help.
However, one time I went during the day on a work day and the sales girls were all over me. I had to beat them off w/my son's empty bottle. I guess they figured that if I was shopping with a kid during a work day, I must be a SAHM and if I'm a SAHM, I must have $$ right?
Riiiiighhhhttt....keep thinkin' that ladies.
edited to remove one too many commas
08/19/09
LA is worse about this than anywhere I've ever been.
08/19/09
And I'm older and I've got more insurance.
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08/19/09
I don't really think I'm traditionally pretty enough to be like, heart-stoppingly intimidating, but I hope my shyness and awkwardness in heels keeps me from giving off the "stone cold fem-bot" vibe. I don't want people to not ask me for help when they need it as I have done before...
08/19/09
In my experience, I feel like the salespeople are judging me--and the snootier the store or the prettier/thinner the salesgirl, the more likely I'm going to feel like that. So the results of this study don't surprise me at all.
08/19/09
Also, the worst and most humiliating experience in my life: I was buying a bra at Victoria's Secret (which has problems, I know) that was a certain size. I had two of *exact* same bra in the *exact* same size, one purchased about 9 months ago and one purchased only 11 days before. The saleswoman asked me four, count em four times if I needed a fitting, and after politely responding "no" every time, she came over with a tape measure anyway, and said, "I can tell just by looking there's no way you're [band size here] you're too big." I then explained I had the same bra already, two differeny ones, and then she started in on how they stretch out, etc. I then explained that one was only purchased 11 days ago and it was perfect. She took the bra out of my hand and handed me one that was one band size bigger and 2 cup sizes smaller. I then explained, if you're trying to give me the "sister size" at the very least it should only be one sup size smaller. She looked down her nose at my chest and said, no, this is your size. I got *so* mad, obvs. I left without buying anything, which probably didn't teach her a lesson, and made me sad because I *love* that bra. lose, lose.
Lesson: salespeople, STFU unless we ask you.
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For all I know they could have been mentally rolling their eyes at me, having to deal with a person who is not conventionally, or even unconventionally, attractive trying to play pretty for a day. But they were nice, incredibly helpful, and didn't push me to get the expensive thing that looked awful on me.
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08/19/09
I wanted to try the Bare Minerals makeup, so I asked for a trial makeover. The incredibly attractive sales associate could barely hide her disgust at my adult acne skin. Then she announced (when I was horrified by the super-cakey, way too much makeup result), "well there really isn't ANY makeup we can suggest for your type of skin."
I practically sprinted back to the MAC boutique, and I will never, ever, no matter how great some other products might be, leave them again. Except for when I'm too broke, and then it's CVS. Regardless of how attractive they are, people who paint purple stars on their faces, or sport black lipstick just seem like they will take the traditional notion of flawless beauty a little less seriously. And yes, they do have decent products, even for my wretched skin.
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My girl Kristen (Frock You in San Diego) is the absolute bestest of the best. I call her the evil temptress.
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This is not to say the boutiques in brooklyn are (significantly) less trust-funded, necessarily, but they usually at least have some enthusiasm
08/19/09