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House Passes Breast Cancer Research Funding Bill That Excludes Komen

On Wednesday afternoon, Congress passed a bill which will increase breast cancer research funding, which is good. However, the bill that passed is a shell of its former self — it had to be pulled from the floor the day before at Republicans’ request because they objected to the idea of funding Susan G. Komen for the… » 7/15/15 10:30pm 7/15/15 10:30pm

Scott Walker Brings His Total Contempt for the Poor to a National Stage 

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker—a man who once proposed slashing funding to victims of child abuse, who’s actively trying to end his state’s living wage, and who’s all on board for banning abortion after 20 weeks with no exceptions for rape or incest—took time away from his busy schedule of destroying the social… » 7/13/15 12:45pm 7/13/15 12:45pm

Jeb Bush Thinks Lazy Americans Just Need to Work Longer Hours

Jeb Bush, in a concise summation of the mythical bootstraps ethos, told reporters at New Hampshire’s Union Leader that Americans need to work longer hours—despite the fact that Americans already work longer hours than citizens in any other industrialized nation. The hopeful future President of a country dealing with a… » 7/09/15 1:00pm 7/09/15 1:00pm

Chris Christie's Hometown Hates His Guts

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is running for president. He’s not gonna be president, nor should he be, but bless his heart, he’s trying it. Christie announced his candidacy Tuesday morning in Livingston, his hometown, who weren’t all that happy to have him back and spent the days leading up to his announcement… » 6/30/15 6:20pm 6/30/15 6:20pm

Republican Senator Says Gay Pals Disagree With Supreme Court Ruling

Republican Senator James Inhofe says that his gay friends, like him, are displeased with the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that lifted bans on same-sex marriages. “I’ve been disappointed, and I was not surprised. I thought they would rule the way they did. I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are… » 6/27/15 5:35pm 6/27/15 5:35pm

Donald Trump Enters GOP Primary; DNC Responds By Burning Whole GOP Field

Today, Donald Trump—an ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back—entered the race for president, running as a Republican. The DNC promptly issued the following statement from press… » 6/16/15 1:10pm 6/16/15 1:10pm

Senate Republican: Lindsey Graham is a 'Bro with No Ho'

Oh, hey. Illinois Republican Senator Mark Kirk tried to make a joke. That’s — that’s odd. Why do these dudes think they can make jokes? Don’t they have supportive family members or colleagues or close friends to gently take them aside and say, “Senator Mark Kirk, my man, you’re surprisingly OK for a Senate Republican » 6/11/15 3:35pm 6/11/15 3:35pm

Mike Huckabee Now Has Ties To Another Accused Child Molester

The man who co-wrote two books for Mike Huckabee is an accused child molester. BuzzFeed reports John Perry, co-author of books with titles like Character Makes a Difference, So Help Me God, and (get a load of this one) For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family, “was accused of child molestation… » 6/11/15 2:10pm 6/11/15 2:10pm

Sen. Lindsey Graham: If President, I'll Have a 'Rotating First Lady'

Sen. Lindsey Graham, the unmarried (heyyyy!!) Republican presidential candidate from South Carolina was recently asked who would act as his first lady if, by some miracle, Graham found himself elected to the country’s highest office. He responded with a number of options, but none of them were good. » 6/09/15 7:50pm 6/09/15 7:50pm

LOL: Duggar Family Favorite Rick Santorum Is Running for President Again

After months of increasingly threatening-sounding emails to people who drunkenly signed up for his mailing list at CPAC, Rick Santorum is announcing today that he’s officially, really, for real, definitely going to waste a shitload of time and money going after a Republican Presidential nomination that he will fail to… » 5/27/15 2:10pm 5/27/15 2:10pm

Read the Gross as Hell Sexts the Missouri House Speaker Sent Intern

Last month, Missouri Southern State University abruptly shut down its internship program at the Missouri State Capitol. The reason behind that move became clear yesterday, when the Kansas City Star revealed that (Republican, married, anti-gay) House Speaker John Diehl was sexting a college freshman intern. A story as… » 5/14/15 10:10am 5/14/15 10:10am

Rand Paul Is Running for President, Selling Some Awesomely Weird Shit 

Senator Rand Paul, a Kentucky man who seems markedly less crazy than his crazy old dad, is set to announce his run for the President of the United States today. Paul, who is anti-abortion, anti-birth control, somewhat anti-vaccination, and a quiet fan of frothing conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones, is still… » 4/07/15 9:50am 4/07/15 9:50am