Chris Christie's Hometown Hates His Guts

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is running for president. He’s not gonna be president, nor should he be, but bless his heart, he’s trying it. Christie announced his candidacy Tuesday morning in Livingston, his hometown, who weren’t all that happy to have him back and spent the days leading up to his announcement… » 6/30/15 6:20pm Tuesday 6:20pm

Republican Senator Says Gay Pals Disagree With Supreme Court Ruling

Republican Senator James Inhofe says that his gay friends, like him, are displeased with the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that lifted bans on same-sex marriages. “I’ve been disappointed, and I was not surprised. I thought they would rule the way they did. I know a lot of people, actually a lot of people who are… » 6/27/15 5:35pm 6/27/15 5:35pm

Donald Trump Enters GOP Primary; DNC Responds By Burning Whole GOP Field

Today, Donald Trump—an ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back—entered the race for president, running as a Republican. The DNC promptly issued the following statement from press… » 6/16/15 1:10pm 6/16/15 1:10pm

Senate Republican: Lindsey Graham is a 'Bro with No Ho'

Oh, hey. Illinois Republican Senator Mark Kirk tried to make a joke. That’s — that’s odd. Why do these dudes think they can make jokes? Don’t they have supportive family members or colleagues or close friends to gently take them aside and say, “Senator Mark Kirk, my man, you’re surprisingly OK for a Senate Republican » 6/11/15 3:35pm 6/11/15 3:35pm

Mike Huckabee Now Has Ties To Another Accused Child Molester

The man who co-wrote two books for Mike Huckabee is an accused child molester. BuzzFeed reports John Perry, co-author of books with titles like Character Makes a Difference, So Help Me God, and (get a load of this one) For Faith & Family: Changing America by Strengthening the Family, “was accused of child molestation… » 6/11/15 2:10pm 6/11/15 2:10pm

Sen. Lindsey Graham: If President, I'll Have a 'Rotating First Lady'

Sen. Lindsey Graham, the unmarried (heyyyy!!) Republican presidential candidate from South Carolina was recently asked who would act as his first lady if, by some miracle, Graham found himself elected to the country’s highest office. He responded with a number of options, but none of them were good. » 6/09/15 7:50pm 6/09/15 7:50pm

LOL: Duggar Family Favorite Rick Santorum Is Running for President Again

After months of increasingly threatening-sounding emails to people who drunkenly signed up for his mailing list at CPAC, Rick Santorum is announcing today that he’s officially, really, for real, definitely going to waste a shitload of time and money going after a Republican Presidential nomination that he will fail to… » 5/27/15 2:10pm 5/27/15 2:10pm

Read the Gross as Hell Sexts the Missouri House Speaker Sent Intern

Last month, Missouri Southern State University abruptly shut down its internship program at the Missouri State Capitol. The reason behind that move became clear yesterday, when the Kansas City Star revealed that (Republican, married, anti-gay) House Speaker John Diehl was sexting a college freshman intern. A story as… » 5/14/15 10:10am 5/14/15 10:10am

Rand Paul Is Running for President, Selling Some Awesomely Weird Shit 

Senator Rand Paul, a Kentucky man who seems markedly less crazy than his crazy old dad, is set to announce his run for the President of the United States today. Paul, who is anti-abortion, anti-birth control, somewhat anti-vaccination, and a quiet fan of frothing conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones, is still… » 4/07/15 9:50am 4/07/15 9:50am

Republican Governors Bravely Fight Anti- Prison Rape Laws

The Prison Rape Elimination Act has a pretty self-evident mission, and yet, somehow, there are still people who manage to be against it. PREA, first passed in 2003 and finalized in 2012, establishes basic standards to keep American prisoners from being assaulted by other inmates or (more commonly) guards. Yet a… » 3/26/15 2:15pm 3/26/15 2:15pm

10,000 Elephants in the Room: I Made It Through CPAC Without Puking

I am sitting in a rented banquet chair watching Carly Fiorina remove her headset. In a moment, I will stand, smile with false confidence, and replace Fiorina in the chair she vacates, facing the questions of two right wing radio hosts. I was out until 3 a.m. last night drinking whiskey with both of my imminent… » 3/02/15 2:15pm 3/02/15 2:15pm

Hey Republicans, Get Off Pitbull's Dick

Right now, the GOP is thirsting to get Pitbull, internationally renowned rapper and showman, on their team. Republican strategists and politicians rightly assume that if Mr. Worldwide were on their side, they would have at least a fighting chance at influencing the highly coveted Latino vote, particularly since he is… » 2/06/15 12:15pm 2/06/15 12:15pm