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Weep For Jim Gilmore, Who Can't Even Get Elected as a GOP Convention Delegate 

Former Virginia Governor and failed GOP presidential candidate Jim Gilmore—also known as failed Democratic presidential candidate Jim Webb, a similarly tragic and square-faced man for whom I nearly always confuse him—assumed, incorrectly, that he would be selected as a delegate to the Republican National Convention.…

Petition Forces Secret Service to Clarify They Won't Allow Guns at the RNC 

The Secret Service has been forced to tell everybody that no, they won’t allow guns on the floor of the Republican National Convention this July. More than 45,000 people have signed a Change.org petition to be allowed to open-carry at the RNC. The petition, from the looks of the creator’s Twitter feed, is likely a…

When Talking About Shoes Is All You Can Do to Keep From Shoving One Another: RNC Street Style

During my few days here in Tampa, I've spent most of my time bitching. Enough! Before I leave, it's time to step into the sun and embrace the reality of the fact that I'm here, my face hurts from grinning encouragingly at strangers, and I'm not going anywhere until later today. I've moved on. Bitch button paused (but…

Ann Romney Promises Mitt Will Love America Like a Smitten Teen at a High School Dance

In an attempt to appeal to female voters, last night the GOP showcased some of its best lady talent, all of whom had some harshly dismissive words about the War on Women (it's a figment of your hysterical imagination) and how Mitt Romney will do things that will make ladies happy. The most noteworthy, touching moment…

Strip Club Hires Sarah Palin Lookalike Just in Time for Republican National Convention

Hoping to capitalize on conservative men's possibly-lingering collective crush, a Tampa Bay strip club has hired a Sarah Palin lookalike to headline during the Republican National Convention in an attempt to draw in business. But this Faux-Palin just any exotic dancer — she's adult film star Lisa Ann, who played Sarah…

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