GOP’s New Strategy to Attract Voters? More Abortion Restrictions, Duh!

Okay, so let’s say you’ve slipped momentarily into the lizard-skin of a GOP politician. How are you going to attract young, non-white voters to your party in the ashes of a Mitt Romney campaign that burned faster than a pile of autumn leaves soaked in butane? Well, if you’re listening to the advice of Jason… » 7/28/13 5:30pm 7/28/13 5:30pm

GOP Asshat: Miss America Congressional Hopeful Like a 'Street Walker'

Former Miss America Erika Harold, who we noted earlier this month was running for Congress in Illinois as a Republican, is already being forced to drink some strong haterade, even from within her own party. This week, a GOP Chairman criticized Harold's qualifications for office, lampooning Harold for supporting… » 6/21/13 4:00pm 6/21/13 4:00pm

Sarah Palin Informs Us that She’s Not Speaking at the GOP Convention,…

After being denied a second date with destiny, a tango with tracking data, an electric slide with the electorate, Sarah Palin, the Axl Rose of the GOP, will not speak the the Republican convention in Tampa later this month. Though some clearly insane observers had suggested — back when the Republican field was an… » 8/13/12 9:30am 8/13/12 9:30am

Condoleezza Rice Will Not Run for Vice President No Matter How Much We…

Mitt Romney and all of his rich Republican friends got together this past weekend in Utah to pal around and talk about the things rich people talk about. (Horses, horses, horses!) At this gathering, Condoleezza Rice gave a speech that very much impressed all of the big wigs, and immediately everyone was desperate for… » 6/26/12 9:00pm 6/26/12 9:00pm

Senate Candidate Drowning in Campaign Money Buys Her Very Own TV Channel

Campaign ads are one of the worst parts of any election cycle, and the idea of having to watch them 24/7 sounds, frankly, like torture. That is why it seems very curious that Linda Lingle, a candidate for the U.S. Senate in Hawaii, has taken the unprecedented step of creating her own television channel to broadcast… » 6/18/12 10:00am 6/18/12 10:00am

Clever Birthers Erect an 'Obama Presidential Library' Outhouse Complete…

If you thought Mitt Romney had a terrible sense of humor, just wait until you hear what truly unfunny shit his Republican compatriots in Montana did this weekend. During the Montana GOP convention—which, by the way, featured Newt Gingrich as its keynote speaker—some "clever" tricksters erected an outhouse outside of… » 6/17/12 11:00pm 6/17/12 11:00pm

Michigan's Extreme Anti-Abortion Bill Leads the Nation in Batshittery

It must be hard to be a state these days. Everyone around you is always doing crazy stuff to get attention, and you really have to compete to get noticed. Well, not content to be a nice midwestern state any longer, Michigan is now gunning to become one of the cool kids by passing an insanely restrictive abortion law.… » 6/08/12 12:00pm 6/08/12 12:00pm

Terrible State Senator Says His Opponent Is Only Running Because Her…

Scott Fitzgerald is a longtime Republican State Senator from Juneau, Wisconsin. Known as "Big Fitz," he's one of the politicians who's been most active in moving Governor Scott Walker's awful agenda through the legislature, and as a result he's facing a recall election. His opponent is 41-year-old Lori Compas, a… » 5/13/12 9:00pm 5/13/12 9:00pm

John Boehner Hints That Obama Is a Loser, Then Says He's Just Trying to…

John Boehner went on State of the Union today and proved in his interview with Candy Crowley that he's fast becoming Public Frenemy Number One. He both insulted President Obama and tried to claim he's just giving his pal some constructive criticism. The most subtle jab he delivered came during a discussion of Mitt… » 4/29/12 8:00pm 4/29/12 8:00pm

Meet Mitt Romney's Sexist New Spokesman

Always on the hunt for ways to make himself even less appealing to the American public, several days ago Mitt Romney hired Richard Grenell, a former Bush administration official, as his national security and foreign policy spokesman. Why is that bad? Well, a quick look at Grenell's Twitter history revealed that he is… » 4/23/12 11:15am 4/23/12 11:15am

Meet the Woman Who's Poised to Become America's First Openly Gay Senator

With all the War on Women madness that's been going on in politics lately, we've been banging our heads against hard surfaces with an alarming regularity. But every once in a while, it's nice to take a break from self-inflicted concussions and instead focus on the good people in the world. » 4/05/12 5:40pm 4/05/12 5:40pm

Gloria Steinem Urges Us to Get Off Our Asses and Vote for Obama

As Republicans in all levels of government have been so busy waging their War on Women on a gazillion different fronts, Barack Obama's team has been equally busy trying to craft a message that appeals to all of the disenchanted women on the right and in the center but that also reminds women on the left that they… » 3/25/12 8:00pm 3/25/12 8:00pm

Batshit Lawmaker Says Women Should Have to Watch an Abortion Before…

When it comes to women's reproductive rights, Arizona seems to be going for some kind of land speed record in obliterating them. But you have to hand it to them. Even though they've already established themselves as pretty much the worst, they're not content to rest on their cringe-inducing laurels. No, they continue… » 3/21/12 3:15pm 3/21/12 3:15pm

When Fox News Lies, Actual People Die

Fox News is usually so aggressively full of shit that it's easy to believe that no one takes it seriously. I mean sure, you know that some people (maybe even people in your own family) are watching it and eating it up, but generally you let yourself believe that everyone deep down understands that it should be taken… » 3/21/12 10:40am 3/21/12 10:40am

Mitt Romney Delivers Useless Blow to Rick Santorum in Illinois

Mitt Romney has been projected to win the Illinois primary tonight by an impressive margin. This was expected, but nevertheless, Romney's pride and joy circuits are probably blowing out as we speak. Of course, Santorum will continue his quixotic quest for the presidency undaunted. Why would he do such a thing—other… » 3/20/12 9:05pm 3/20/12 9:05pm

Ann Romney Begs Women to Support Her Husband

At a pancake breakfast this morning in Moline, Illinois, Ann Romney took to the mic and addressed all of her sisters in robothood. (Sidenote: the Romneys just cannot get enough pancakes.) She started by saying she is "really upset" with Obama's policies, and then tried to get us to bond over our anger: "I love it that… » 3/18/12 11:00pm 3/18/12 11:00pm