Candy Company Sorry Its Gummy Candy Came Out Penis-Shaped

You know that excited, blissful feeling that comes when you're just about to chow down on a fresh pack of gummy bears, but then you notice you're actually holding a fistful of penises? Because after a little mixup at the gummy bear factory, a whole bunch of kids in New Zealand do. And the company would like them to… »9/11/14 8:57pm9/11/14 8:57pm

Oh No, Ladies: Chobani Greek Yogurt Linked to 89 Reports of Illness

Since Jezebel is a site for ladies and things ladies like, and since yogurt is the number one thing ladies like/want/see/eat/do/rub all over ourselves/others, I suppose we should talk about how a bunch of Chobani Greek yogurt manufactured in Twin Falls, Idaho has made 89 people ill with nausea and cramps. DAMMIT… »9/10/13 9:30pm9/10/13 9:30pm

Meet the Foods That Are Trying to Murder You This Weekend

Food is good, except when it’s BAD, as in stabby-stab-stab in your pancreas and colon bad. Some foods have been masquerading as good, when in fact they are murderous psychopaths, determined to trick you to ingesting them so they can perforate your internal organs. The safe eater is the paranoid and over-informed… »9/07/13 2:30pm9/07/13 2:30pm

Enjoy Your Frosted Mini-Wheats, Now with More Metal Bits!

Kellogg, that cursive-adoring purveyor of fine, sugary breakfast cereals, is recalling one of its most asymmetrical cereals — Frosted Mini-Wheats. According to the Wall Street Journal, the company will shell out a cool $30 million to cover a recall of Frosted Mini-Wheats in the U.S. due to a possible contamination by… »10/12/12 9:30am10/12/12 9:30am

Innocent-Looking Ice Cream Scoop Becomes Projectile Weapon

The Pampered Chef company is recalling 20,000 of its liquid-filled ice cream scoops because, according to Reuters, when exposed to warm water "the cap and seal at the end of the scoop handle can fly off with substantial force." These dessert-helpers-turned-grenades have caused cuts and bruises, as well as damage to… »12/21/11 1:55pm12/21/11 1:55pm