OMFG: Giant Rats Are Taking Over The Planet

Important announcement: I've just hopped out of my DeLorean after a disastrous visit to the future and thought I should tell you what I saw there. No, it wasn't hover boards and sneakers that lace themselves. It was rats. Huge fucking rats everywhere you go and — guess what? — they run everything. » 3/31/14 11:30pm 3/31/14 11:30pm

Man Celebrates 96th Birthday by Accidentally Eating Rat Cake

Do you like cake? Are you one of those people who never got over childhood birthday parties and the sweet, smoky smell of snuffed candles mingling with buttercream icing? If you murmured "yes" to your computer, then the next sentence you read will horrify you and quite possibly turn you into a PIE person. An old man from … » 2/23/14 1:00pm 2/23/14 1:00pm

Flight Attendant Denies Smuggling Pet Rat in Her Underwear, Files Suit

This is a weird one: a veteran American Airlines flight attendant accused by her colleagues of smuggling a pet rat onto an international flight in her underwear has filed a lawsuit against the airline, claiming the accusations have resulted increased customs screenings and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. » 7/07/13 10:01pm 7/07/13 10:01pm

Lady Rats Can Probably Blame Their Binge Eating on Their Lady Rat Parts

A study (scientific and rat-infested by its very nature) published recently in the International Journal of Eating Disorders is the first ever to establish sex differences in rates of binge eating in animals. Well, not animals, really, so much as the scuttling disease portmanteaus we affectionately call “rats,” but the … » 5/02/13 10:00am 5/02/13 10:00am

Rats Can Only Exercise So Much Before Getting All Stressy About It

Exercise is good for you, or so science has led us to believe. Regular exercise can confer such abstract, qualitative benefits as: stress reduction, anxiety easement, and optimism enhancement. It can also help you look more like your favorite member of the X-Men, minus powers. However, maybe science has deceived us.… » 3/14/13 3:30pm 3/14/13 3:30pm

New York City's Displaced Rat Population Simply Cannot Wait to Give You …

Before I moved to NYC, I was embarrassingly afraid of rats. Once, I walked out of the back door of my apartment in Chicago and saw a gigantic rat running down the stairs right past me and I screamed so loudly that people on other floors came outside to make sure I wasn't currently in the process of being murdered. But… » 10/31/12 2:31pm 10/31/12 2:31pm

Get Rid Of Rodents Before You Die Of The Plague

Rats and mice can be adorable if they are your well-behaved pet, or if they are singing cartoon characters in a heartwarming tale of one Russian mouse family who overcomes adversity while immigrating to New York City and later, Goes West. Otherwise, they're disgusting cesspools of disease, unwelcome interlopers in your … » 10/03/11 5:25pm 10/03/11 5:25pm