Rand Paul: Socialist Bernie Sanders Probably Isn't Going to Kill Millions of People, I Guess 

Nothing stokes the fires of Senator Rand Paul’s righteous, curly indignation like socialism, which he thinks is bad, and— this is true— unsexy. But he admits that democratic socialist Bernie Sanders probably won’t go on a killing spree, unlike, say, Stalin. But can... we... be... sure? »11/16/15 6:10pm11/16/15 6:10pm


Rand Paul and Chris Christie Will Prepare for Tonight's Debate in Toilet Rooms 

Politico had a beautiful and perfect story late Tuesday about preparations for the next Republican debate, taking place Wednesday night in Boulder, Colorado. Every campaign got a “greenroom” to prepare, or, in the case of Chris Christie and Rand Paul, something that looks a lot like a repurposed toilet. Sometimes… »10/28/15 9:00am10/28/15 9:00am

So What's Everyone Wearing to Rand Paul's Halloween Party? 

Okay, it’s so annoying how there are like five different Halloween parties I have to go to, and I have to come up for a different costume for all of them, and one of them is all the way over in freaking Iowa but I feel like only a few people are going to show up and Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul will… »10/23/15 5:40pm10/23/15 5:40pm

Rand Paul's All-Day Livestream Drained My Life Force

On Monday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate and noted privacy advocate Rand Paul announced that he would be live-streaming “an entire day” of campaigning on Tuesday, up through the Democratic debate (burn!). Jezebel managing editor Erin Gloria Ryan thought it would be funny to make me watch it. »10/14/15 10:20am10/14/15 10:20am

Rand Paul Calls Out Jeb Bush, Former Rich-Kid Weed Smoker, for Marijuana Hypocrisy

On Thursday, Rand Paul discussed his stance on weed, also known as the one position on which he isn’t totally bananas. In a talk, Paul called out Jeb Bush for flagrant rich-kid hypocrisy: namely, the former Florida governor’s admission that he had smoked marijuana while a student at Phillips Academy is exactly why… »9/18/15 12:14pm9/18/15 12:14pm

Hell Is a Place on Earth: Join Jezebel Tonight for a GOP Debate Liveblog

It seems like just moments ago that we all endured the first debate among thousands of Republicans who want to be president. And yet somehow, both fall and another debate are upon us, twin reminders of the passage of time, the inevitability of death, and the grim unpleasant duties that consume much of our fleeting… »9/16/15 5:30pm9/16/15 5:30pm

First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a… »8/04/15 11:45am8/04/15 11:45am

Senate GOP May Shut Down the Government Over Planned Parenthood Funding

The Senate is expected to vote Monday on S. 1881, a bill to “defund Planned Parenthood,” i.e. take away $528 million in federal funding from the non-profit on the strength of some sketchy videos from some sketchy folks. And if they don’t manage to defund PP, GOP senators are more than happy to shut down the… »8/03/15 10:00am8/03/15 10:00am

GOP Senators Vow to Waste Time Trying to Defund Planned Parenthood

At a clown car of a press conference this afternoon, nine Republican senators vied to show the American public who hates abortion the worst, vowing to defund Planned Parenthood so hard, you bet. By that, I guess, they mean taking away Title X funding, the federal money used for family planning services. Planned… »7/29/15 4:30pm7/29/15 4:30pm

Rand Paul Promises To Push Vote To Defund Planned Parenthood 

During an appearance on Fox News Sunday this morning, Republican Rand Paul promised to push a vote on his bill that would defund Planned Parenthood. “I’m going to try to force a vote on this,” Paul said. “I think the time is now to discuss whether taxpayer dollars should be going to such a gruesome procedure.” »7/26/15 2:00pm7/26/15 2:00pm

Rand Paul to Use Incorrigible Dickishness For a Good Cause

The Patriot Act, the knee jerk post-9/11 law that authorizes various taxpayer-funded entities to violate the rights of taxpayers in the name of freedom™, is set to expire at the end of the month, unless Congress reauthorizes it. And in order to reauthorize it, they’ll have to get it past Presidential candidate and… »5/11/15 4:30pm5/11/15 4:30pm

Father of Drunk Driver Blames 'Lack of Fathers' For Baltimore Riots

On conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham’s show today, senator and presidential candidate Rand Paul blamed the riots in Baltimore on “the breakdown of the family structure” and “a lack of fathers,” among other things. Rand Paul’s own son has been arrested three times on alcohol-related charges, including assault. »4/28/15 1:50pm4/28/15 1:50pm