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First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally

Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a… »8/04/15 11:45am8/04/15 11:45am

Senate GOP May Shut Down the Government Over Planned Parenthood Funding

The Senate is expected to vote Monday on S. 1881, a bill to “defund Planned Parenthood,” i.e. take away $528 million in federal funding from the non-profit on the strength of some sketchy videos from some sketchy folks. And if they don’t manage to defund PP, GOP senators are more than happy to shut down the… »8/03/15 10:00am8/03/15 10:00am

GOP Senators Vow to Waste Time Trying to Defund Planned Parenthood

At a clown car of a press conference this afternoon, nine Republican senators vied to show the American public who hates abortion the worst, vowing to defund Planned Parenthood so hard, you bet. By that, I guess, they mean taking away Title X funding, the federal money used for family planning services. Planned… »7/29/15 4:30pm7/29/15 4:30pm

Rand Paul Promises To Push Vote To Defund Planned Parenthood 

During an appearance on Fox News Sunday this morning, Republican Rand Paul promised to push a vote on his bill that would defund Planned Parenthood. “I’m going to try to force a vote on this,” Paul said. “I think the time is now to discuss whether taxpayer dollars should be going to such a gruesome procedure.” »7/26/15 2:00pm7/26/15 2:00pm

Rand Paul to Use Incorrigible Dickishness For a Good Cause

The Patriot Act, the knee jerk post-9/11 law that authorizes various taxpayer-funded entities to violate the rights of taxpayers in the name of freedom™, is set to expire at the end of the month, unless Congress reauthorizes it. And in order to reauthorize it, they’ll have to get it past Presidential candidate and… »5/11/15 4:30pm5/11/15 4:30pm

Father of Drunk Driver Blames 'Lack of Fathers' For Baltimore Riots

On conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham’s show today, senator and presidential candidate Rand Paul blamed the riots in Baltimore on “the breakdown of the family structure” and “a lack of fathers,” among other things. Rand Paul’s own son has been arrested three times on alcohol-related charges, including assault. »4/28/15 1:50pm4/28/15 1:50pm

Watch Rand Paul Explain Interviews to Savannah Guthrie, Mid-Interview

Does Rand Paul want to be president, or does he want to teach classes on how to interview? I’m starting to wonder after this morning’s appearance on The Today Show, in which he seemed more concerned with lecturing Savannah Guthrie about “editorializing” than answering questions about his record on foreign policy. »4/08/15 10:50am4/08/15 10:50am

Well, It's Time to Play FMK with the Republican Presidential Hopefuls

Now that Rand Paul has announced his Presidential candidacy, joining firstie candidate-in-name-only Ted Cruz and the inevitable-but-formally-unannounced Jeb Bush (sorry: “Heb Boosh”), it is officially the season of Republican conjecture. And, for a woman who would only vote Republican at gunpoint, there is only one… »4/07/15 1:10pm4/07/15 1:10pm

Rand Paul Is Running for President, Selling Some Awesomely Weird Shit 

Senator Rand Paul, a Kentucky man who seems markedly less crazy than his crazy old dad, is set to announce his run for the President of the United States today. Paul, who is anti-abortion, anti-birth control, somewhat anti-vaccination, and a quiet fan of frothing conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones, is still… »4/07/15 9:50am4/07/15 9:50am