Jezebel
crappy hour
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puerto rico
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crappy hour
news roundup
Really, Eliot? You Interfaced With This?
- Commenting on an Eliot Spitzer whore scandal is vaguely as exciting than reading about the intricacies of trade negotiations — and also, somewhat less important — but I had to point out this quote from a source close to Kristin "Billie" Davis (who "hails from a rough-in-tumble California trailer park.") "She personally interfaced with Spitzer a number of times." Wow, "interface." That used to be corporate jargon for "talked to" and now it is being used to denote... bareback anal. [NYP]
- "His sex appeal lies in being a successful businessman and politician. Women like a guy who is in control, and a man who knows what he wants." That's the editor-in-chief of Playgirl on why she'd like to land Eliot Spitzer for a cover shoot incorporating a young woman in a Girls Gone Wild T-shirt. I know; you're creaming just thinking of interfacing with it right? [US]
- Wait, speaking of: raunchy outtakes from the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog are now being sold as a $200 "art" book. [NYP]
- Wait, no, really speaking of, Barack Obama was interviewed by Maria Bartiromo, who tried to paint him as some sort of Hugo Chavez character by baiting him with a question about the Fed's bailout of Bear, to which he said, "Well, I wasn't privy to Bear Stearns' balance sheet." He doesn't sound like a socialist! [CNBC]
crappy hour
Barack Obama Steals Away On Sexy Tropical Paradise Island Vacation!
Barack Obama sure picked the right time to go on a secret vacation with Rihanna! The blind guy is STILL MAKING NEWS. Now it's co(mg)caine. Barack Obama did cocaine in the eighties. Who cares if the blind governor did cocaine in the eighties? Barack Obama probably gave it to him, and Barack Obama didn't have blindness as an excuse for needing false confidence! You know what else made news today? Sex. Not unprotected anal whore sex! Not illicit adultery in the 94th Street Days Inn sex! Not even "erotic sex"! Just sex, as in: it's fun! You should have some. Moving on: what else do we have here...elections in Zimbabwe! Can you spell Zimbabwe without Mugabe? Oh also: Sinbad! Sinbad is still in the news! Sinbad has never enjoyed such high approval ratings! Can we give Sinbad a cabinet position? And then there's some more about the war. Will the number 4,000 detract from the "myth" that the Troop Surge is a huge success? Or, on the contrary, will it remind everyone why we needed the Troop Surge to begin with? No one knows! Also, that part about Barack and Rihanna is totally unsubstantiated. We just don't know very much about the Virgin Islands because we never take vacation. Which is why Glamocracy's Megan and I are here to IM every morning for your commenting pleasure. More »
news roundup
Hillary And Barack Can't Morph Into One Supercandidate, But Wouldn't It Be Cool If They Could?
- Yeah, how do we know when the this fucking nomination process has gone on too long? When the candidates' lives have not only been covered breathlessly in US Weekly, ostensibly dignified magazines like The New Republic have started co-opting their "if they mated" feature. [TNR]
- The Hillary campaign is now pinning its future on an "Electoral vote" strategy, basing her appeal to the conventioneers on the notion that she should win the nomination because she managed to win big states important to winning the electoral vote. Because California is in grave danger of voting for McCain over Obama? [NYT]
- Will her concession to Sinbad re the "sniper fire" mess up her chances? [NY Times]
- Speaking of comedians who are not Sinbad, this little Q&A with Tracey Ullman reminded me how much I missed Dave Chappelle. What's he up to? No performances I can find. [WSJ]
- New York risks losing as many as 20,000 finance jobs. I would be sad, but it's also sort of a "And at long freaking last they came for the bankers, and I didn't say anything because I had already spend much of my twenties unemployed kthanxbai" situation. Also, no industry finds fresh liquidity faster than finance, so, you know, they'll be back. [Reuters]
More pageant hijinks! Jessica Wittenbrink's $3,400 gown was vandalized during the Miss South Florida Fair pageant. Perhaps sabotage paves the way for success, because Wittenbrink, like the pepper-sprayed Miss Puerto Rico, went on to win the Miss South Florida crown. (And appear on the Today Show this morning). The Palm Beach County sheriff says there is not enough conclusive evidence to to nab a suspect at this time. [UPI]
Loose Lips
Here's Johnny Depp's Rolling Stone cover. You're WELCOME. • Arrests are expected to be made soon in the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. The police will leave no sequin unturned. • Did Vince Vaughn veto sex scene with Reese Witherspoon in their upcoming movie Four Christmases? [Rolling Stone, People, Hollywood Rag]
Here's Johnny Depp's Rolling Stone cover. You're WELCOME. • Arrests are expected to be made soon in the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. The police will leave no sequin unturned. • Did Vince Vaughn veto sex scene with Reese Witherspoon in their upcoming movie Four Christmases? [Rolling Stone, People, Hollywood Rag]
Miss Puerto Rico Universe, whose pageant-win erupted in controversy, was exonerated by police yesterday. For those of you not following the Aqua Net-shellacked saga, Ingrid Rivera said that someone had doused her makeup and dress with pepper-spray during the pageant, causing her to break out in hives. A few days later, reports surfaced that said no traces of pepper spray were found on Rivera's gowns, and the upwelling of support for Rivera turned into a major backlash. Now, police have decided that Rivera's claims were "sincere" and that the pepper spray perp might have been a pageant volunteer. Ingrid can now attend the Miss Universe pageant next year in Vietnam with her hair held high. [People]
dirt bag
Jamie Lynn Spears: Was It (Statutory) Rape?
- Jamie Lynn Spears' boyfriend could face statutory rape charges since he is 19 and JL is 16. According to reports, if the baby was conceived in Louisiana, the act could technically be considered "felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile." What a mess. [Daily Mail]
- But sources say that Jamie Lynn's parents "adore" her boyfriend and babydaddy Casey Aldridge. What else are they gonna say? [People]
- Breaking news: Have Jamie and Casey already broken up? [Perez Hilton]
- Jamie Lynn on being a good mom: "I love babies, and I have my nephews that I love. I have a great mom and she has raised three kids, so if I take lessons from her, I think I'll be great." Oh, dear. [Perez Hilton]
- Britney went Christmas shopping at Lisa Kline in L.A. Tuesday and a store rep says "She looks the best I've seen her in a really long time. She was really, really nice, saying, 'Thanks, babe,' 'Yeah, babe.' Everything was 'babe.'" Uh, maybe because her sister is with "babe"? [People]
dirt bag
Did Miss Puerto Rico Lie About The Pepper Spray?
- San Juan police tests have found no traces of pepper spray on Miss Puerto Rico's belongings. Ingrid Rivera denies concocting the incident, but police are looking into whether anyone provided false information, which would be a felony. And apparently, Rivera hasn't given any statements to the police. Only to the Today show. Clever! [TMZ]
- Yesterday was Britney Spears' 26th birthday! She partied Saturday night with Alli Sims and Paris Hilton — they had champagne and chocolate cake. How has she packed so much living into such little time? [PageSix.com]
- Oh, and for her birthday, Britney got $30,000 in fur coats, a $10,000 diamond ring, $4,000 in sunglasses and various t-shirts and hair products. Can products help the mess on her head? [MSNBC]
clips
Pepper-sprayed Puerto Rican beauty pageant contestant Ingrid Marie Rivera showed up on the Today show this morning for a sitdown with Meredith Vieira about pageantry, haters and toxic tiaras. During the six-minute-long interview, Rivera refuted the new accusations that she pepper-sprayed herself in order to garner sympathy/press/what have you, and says that she was shocked that it happened to her because "I'm not that kind of person". (Whatever that means). Clip above. More »
Miss Universe Contestant Talks To 'Today', Still Believes In God
Pepper-sprayed Puerto Rican beauty pageant contestant Ingrid Marie Rivera showed up on the Today show this morning for a sitdown with Meredith Vieira about pageantry, haters and toxic tiaras. During the six-minute-long interview, Rivera refuted the new accusations that she pepper-sprayed herself in order to garner sympathy/press/what have you, and says that she was shocked that it happened to her because "I'm not that kind of person". (Whatever that means). Clip above. More »
Drama Queens
The plot thickens in the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. There is some speculation that Ingrid Marie Rivera, the pageant winner, fabricated the entire scenario. Rivera claims that rivals doused her dress and makeup with pepper spray before she went on stage. This morning on the Today Show, anchors Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer wondered how Rivera would have been able to stop crying between camera appearances had she really been pepper sprayed. [People]
The plot thickens in the Miss Puerto Rico pepper spray incident. There is some speculation that Ingrid Marie Rivera, the pageant winner, fabricated the entire scenario. Rivera claims that rivals doused her dress and makeup with pepper spray before she went on stage. This morning on the Today Show, anchors Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer wondered how Rivera would have been able to stop crying between camera appearances had she really been pepper sprayed. [People]
drama queens
