TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME! SKIP TO 1:30! (DID YOU TURN DOWN YOUR VOLUME?)

Surprise flash mob proposals? Those are so last year. In late 2014/early 2015 it's all about the surprise wedding. Any other kind of marriage is just wrong and outdated.

Congratulations, everyone! We've hit another June which means that it's time to dust off our formal wear and head to wedding after glorious wedding where we will eat canapés (what is?) and hear about the magical proposal in 2-5 speeches given by the wedding party. Well, here's a proposal that is actually magical.

Is the new proposal trend to offer up a mortgage instead of a blingy ring?

Remember Chirag Shah and Simone Jhingoor? Last month, he proposed to her live on Today, steamrolling over what she thought was her chance to talk about the non-profit where she is employed. Last night, the couple was on Totally Biased with Kamau Bell, where they had a chance to redo the proposal, complete with…

This morning on Today, Al Roker was about to do the weather when he took a detour and introduced a woman who works at a non-profit. Simone Jhingoor was prepared to talk about the Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation — which sounds great and important — when suddenly, her boyfriend, Chirag Shah, showed…

Public marriage proposals seem more like social hostage situations than romantic queries. "Will you marry me? Btw, if you say, ‘No,' all of these people will grind their teeth from the unrelenting awkwardness." With that in mind, try really hard not to squirm while you're watching RNC staffer Bradley Thompson pull…

Picture, if you will, Kanye West swimming in a vault of precious stones a la Scrooge McDuck; after girlfriend Kim Kardashian's divorce from Kris Humphries is finalized, 'Ye apparently plans to propose with a one-of-a-kind ring made from his late mom Donda's personal jewelry collection. He visited a private jeweler…

The calendar has become crowded with days that double as opportunities to guilt trip your significant other over their failure to comply with Hallmarkian love edicts. National Proposal Day is just one of them, but unlike Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day and Sadie Hawkins Day and every other goddamn holiday involving…

At first we thought this video of Arvin Shandiz proposing to Alexandra Williams, who he met on a Delta Air Lines shuttle, was adorable. However, after hearing the flight attendant's announcement at the end of the video, we're just cranky. Why do we always wind up on flights with stinky dudes and unruly children…

The young people in this video bravely resisted the urge to have their engagement captured on video and foisted on the public via YouTube. Yet, their effort to not share their joy with total strangers was thwarted when they were caught by a local news camera. Apparently resistance is futile, so if you're thinking…

Yes, it's come to this: A Redditor saw a friend propose on Facebook. We're undecided on whether or not this is better than the dishwashing proposal, but if they can tolerate each other's poor capitalization skills, mazel tov.

Seth Rogen says he proposed to his girlfriend while she was topless, in the closet. We can't always choose how these things happen.

The season finale of The Bachelorette fulfilled all of my mildest dreams. It had everything I've ever wanted: love, loss, and a surprising amount of bodily fluids — except for one thing: it was mind-numbingly safe.

In a clip going viral on YouTube, a dude proposes to his girlfriend at Disneyland, in the most Disney manner imaginable.