Kim Kardashian catalogued her makeup routine for Into the Gloss. This list doesn't feature any products infused with oil from the skin of a pregnant elephant, but there is a $455 Guerlain moisturizer with "a texture that is rich yet generous, melting and impalpable." Here's how much all of it cost.

One of the nuances Karl Marx failed to predict in his assessment of late stage capitalism—our current epoch of globalization and mass consumerism—is the steady lubrication provided by YouTube personalities on behalf of corporations pumping out useless shit for us to buy.

An IndieGoGo campaign has raised nearly $218,000 to fund the development of The Defender, a pepper spray canister that photographs the person that the spray is being aimed at and immediately contacts law enforcement with the GPS location of the incident. It's being especially marketed towards woman as a self defense…

Are you an adult woman with an embarrassing teenager-style acne problem? You're not alone. In fact, adult acne is becoming more and more common among post-teens. But luckily, you're grown up and therefore RICH and so you can afford the wide array of expensive acne treatments available to the modern woman-about-town.…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily…

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily…

This product might not come as much of a surprise to our UK readers, but when we happened upon this "unique" brand of energy drink we were, um, kind of shocked. We'll let the product speak for itself:

Do you wish you could iron some stuff, but you can't, because you are a man? Despair no more — the Man Iron is here to solve all of your problems!

Finally, a solution for those of us with pesky lovers who like to fall asleep on our asses!* Introducing the Booty Pillow, which is "meant to look like and replicate the feel of laying on a woman's backside and the small of her back." Featuring products with names like "The AmsterDAAMN," for a small sum of $29.99 you…

We know just what to buy your pre-teen niece this holiday season to make her squee: Justin Bieber nail polish. The collection is called "One Less Lonely Girl" and will be available at Walmart.