The Promo for I Wanna Marry Harry Is Here and It Features Crying

FOX, the brilliant network that's bringing you this summer's surefire hit show about a group of women duped into believing they have been chosen as the possible true love of Prince Harry, has dropped the first promo for I Wanna Marry Harry. There's still not much detail available about how exactly the production… » 4/17/14 11:45am Thursday 11:45am

Report: Prince William Wants to Trash the Ivory in Buckingham Palace

The dudes of the U.K.'s royal family, Princes Charles and William, recently attended the Illegal Wildlife Trade Conference in London and spoke out on behalf of efforts to protect endangered animals from poachers. But rumor has it William wants to go even further, by destroying all the ivory in Buckingham Palace. » 2/17/14 10:40am 2/17/14 10:40am

Queen Takes Royal Prerogatives Too Far, Demands Harry Shave Sexy Beard

Terrible news out of the United Kingdom. Queen Elizabeth has gone too far. "Sources" tell the Express that her majesty has informed Prince Harry in no uncertain terms that she "intensely dislikes" whiskers and he is to shave his magnificently rakish polar-expeditionary beard "sooner rather than later." » 1/06/14 12:10pm 1/06/14 12:10pm

Prince Harry's Maybe-Future-Fiancée Is Made Of Mystery and Scrunchies

Cressida Bonas is dating Prince Harry. This ostensibly makes her interesting, or, at least, more interesting than a Normal like you or I, and ostensibly means that now, in anticipation of her possibly marrying Prince Harry at some indeterminate point in the future, there are Facts about her that we must know.… » 12/26/13 6:30pm 12/26/13 6:30pm

This Book Cressida Bonas Is Carrying Is NOT A Message To Prince Harry

Cressida Bonas (BEST NAME EVER), the reported girlfriend of Super Ginger and ice trekker Prince Harry, basically caused a major kerfuffle when she dared to step out last week carrying a book called Why Love Matters causing some people to of freak out about it. Because OBVIOUSLY this is a secret message to Prince Harry, … » 12/07/13 4:00pm 12/07/13 4:00pm

We Need to Talk About Prince Harry's Girlfriend's Hair

Word on the street is that the flame-haired party king of England, future Duke of Suffolk, and the most decorated Female Body Inspector of all time, Prince Harry of Wales, is planning to marry his girlfriend of one-and-a-half years, the lithe blonde human incarnation of Burning Man Cressida Bonas—and soon. » 10/09/13 1:36pm 10/09/13 1:36pm

Kate Middleton Brutally Kills a Zillion Dumb Baby Weight Loss Articles

Ever since Kate Middleton gave birth to Baby King George this July, tabloid writers have been eagerly sharpening their cattiest claws in preparation for snarking on the Royal's post-baby body. Kate even rhymes with WEIGHT, you guys! And her last name contains the word "TON!" THIS WILL BE THE MEANEST POST-BABY COVERAGE… » 9/23/13 3:25pm 9/23/13 3:25pm

Jenny McCarthy Thinks You're Gay If You Don't Immediately Intercourse Her

Heads up, casanovas! Good to know! Jenny McCarthy went on some radio show and talked glowingly about her blossoming relationship with old kid on the block Donnie Wahlberg. Turns out, he waited two weeks to call her after they first hung out, so of course she assumed he was a vagina-hating gay guy. » 9/11/13 8:00pm 9/11/13 8:00pm

Julia Roberts Is a Real Dick To Her Formerly Obese Half-Sister

Julia Roberts' half-sister Nancy Motes, who weighed 300 pounds before undergoing gastric bypass surgery in 2010, says that her relationship with Julia has been testy since Motes was in her teens and Roberts broke into stardom after Pretty Woman. Apparently Roberts would not let Motes forget that she was a Fat Woman. » 8/10/13 11:30am 8/10/13 11:30am

Amanda Bynes ‘Aided’ by Sleazy Sam Lutfi, Britney's Former Manager

This is not good. Sam Lufti, best known as the bizarre and controlling former manager of 2007 brokedown-palace edition Britney Spears, has got his claws into Amanda Bynes. Apparently he bought her the plane ticket back to L.A. after the bong-throwing incident and she's spoken to him on the phone since she was placed on … » 7/29/13 9:00am 7/29/13 9:00am