Kate Middleton Brutally Kills a Zillion Dumb Baby Weight Loss Articles

Ever since Kate Middleton gave birth to Baby King George this July, tabloid writers have been eagerly sharpening their cattiest claws in preparation for snarking on the Royal's post-baby body. Kate even rhymes with WEIGHT, you guys! And her last name contains the word "TON!" THIS WILL BE THE MEANEST POST-BABY COVERAGE… » 9/23/13 3:25pm 9/23/13 3:25pm

Jenny McCarthy Thinks You're Gay If You Don't Immediately Intercourse Her

Heads up, casanovas! Good to know! Jenny McCarthy went on some radio show and talked glowingly about her blossoming relationship with old kid on the block Donnie Wahlberg. Turns out, he waited two weeks to call her after they first hung out, so of course she assumed he was a vagina-hating gay guy. » 9/11/13 8:00pm 9/11/13 8:00pm

Baby King George's Nursery Will Be 'Africa Themed'

Proud new father Prince William told CNN that he and Kate Middleton's child — the Baby King of England — will spend his helpless infant days in a nursery decorated with the theme of "Africa." It's important to note here that when I say "Africa," I don't mean like all the terrible stuff that the British monarchy has done to … » 8/22/13 9:30am 8/22/13 9:30am

Of Course Lindsay Lohan's Being Accused of Partying All Night

Bleh. Seven days out of Cliffside, where Lindsay Lohan served her 90 days of court-ordered rehab, she has allegedly been spotted partying with her friend-and-occasional-hookup Max George and sister Ali in Los Angeles. The party went all night, and a "source" (a pigeon? That disgusting oil heir Brandon "Firecrotch" Davis? » 8/09/13 9:00am 8/09/13 9:00am

Kate Middleton's Occupation Listed as "Princess" on Birth Certificate

As of Friday, Britain's Prince George is no longer an undocumented drifter living off the grid, subsisting on secrets and shadows; he's a person with a birth certificate. For whatever reason, the birth certificate was not filled out very neatly, but what are you gonna do? Summer Fridays, everyone's in a hurry. (Here's… » 8/02/13 12:19pm 8/02/13 12:19pm

Amanda Bynes ‘Aided’ by Sleazy Sam Lutfi, Britney's Former Manager

This is not good. Sam Lufti, best known as the bizarre and controlling former manager of 2007 brokedown-palace edition Britney Spears, has got his claws into Amanda Bynes. Apparently he bought her the plane ticket back to L.A. after the bong-throwing incident and she's spoken to him on the phone since she was placed on … » 7/29/13 9:00am 7/29/13 9:00am

‘Royal Crier’ Who Announced Baby King's Birth Just a Freelance Weirdo

When that red-faced becostumed gentleman announced the birth of Prince William and Duchess Kate's baby boy by holding a scroll and yelling, I remember thinking, Is this the IRL Wee Willy Winkie? followed by Boy is the monarchy both charming and weird and outdated. Well, folks — I have to issue a thought retraction.… » 7/24/13 9:30pm 7/24/13 9:30pm