Gorilla Named Patrick Sent to Gorilla Therapy for Being a Sexist Jerk

Behold the majestic lowland ape. Marvel at his strength, his wildness. His complete inability to get along with ladies. » 9/24/13 7:20pm 9/24/13 7:20pm

Of Course Florida is Teeming With Herpes-Infected Monkeys

Casey Anthony, Disney condos, CSI: Miami, and now this. The state of Florida is apparently under threat from a small army of adaptive, herpes-infected monkeys that wildlife officials are now classifying as a "public health hazard." » 9/13/13 11:20am 9/13/13 11:20am

University of Chicago Professor Very Disappointed that Female…

Here's a thing that you should do if you're a professor at an academic conference: listen to your colleagues' presentations and meet new friends, possibly for future professional collaboration. Here's a thing that you shouldn't do if you're a professor at an academic conference: take to Facebook and publicly bitch… » 10/17/12 6:15pm 10/17/12 6:15pm

Gorillas Dismantle Poachers' Traps on First Leg of World Comeback Tour

Hey, how about some slightly heartwarming news on this day of incomprehensible crap? After one of their companions was ensnared by a hunter's trap in Rwanda, it seems that young endangered gorillas are getting the last laugh. Or, uh, last terrifying jungle scream. Conservationists say a trio of juveniles in Rwanda has… » 7/20/12 1:20pm 7/20/12 1:20pm

Chimps With Vasectomies Mysteriously Knocking Up Lady Chimps

Caretakers at a Louisiana home for retired research chimps are puzzled by a strange turn of events: two female chimpanzees there have become pregnant recently, in spite of the fact that all of the male chimps there have had vasectomies. Nature finds a way. » 2/29/12 2:00pm 2/29/12 2:00pm

Zoo Puts Orangutan on Birth Control

A female orangutan at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has become the first non-human primate in the US to be implanted with a human birth control device. I hope she doesn't think it's okay to just whore around all over the place now. Just because she can't get pregnant doesn't mean that Orangu-God hasn't stopped damning… » 1/25/12 7:05pm 1/25/12 7:05pm

Real Friends Will Defend You From Saber-Toothed Tigers

"What are friends for" is often posed as a rhetorical question. But a team of scientists believe they have an answer, and that answer is: to keep you from getting eaten. » 11/09/11 7:45pm 11/09/11 7:45pm

All The Cool Monkey Moms Help Their Sons Get Laid

If your idea of a hot hookup is tiptoeing down a basement staircase while the guy you just went for drinks with tells you in an urgent, husky whisper, "Shh, my mom's asleep," you're probably a muriqui, a New World species of matriarchal monkeys where mother-son proximity is the biggest turn on there is. » 11/09/11 12:50pm 11/09/11 12:50pm

The Pill Makes Gorillas Horny

Zookeepers regularly administer basically the same hormonal birth control to gorillas. Findings from a limited sample show this makes female gorillas a little randy while menstruating. The more you know! » 6/28/11 2:33pm 6/28/11 2:33pm

Big Cats Mimic Monkeys

Researchers have discovered that Brazil's Amazonian forests are populated by big cats - including margay, jaguars, and pumas — imitate the calls primate prey. It's the first time wild cats in the Americas have been observed being so tricky. » 7/09/10 5:41pm 7/09/10 5:41pm

Are Babies At The Heart Of What Makes Us Human?

Primatologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy says that while most scholars believe our evolution was driven by the need to fight, she believes that a human baby's need for attention is what separates us from animals. » 3/03/09 6:20pm 3/03/09 6:20pm

Misogyny Among Monkeys Is "Natural Behavior"

Yeah, Jack Hanna can seem a little too willfully clueless, and yeah, he's on Letterman what seems like every other week, but by god, he and Dave have a good thing going, and I just can't hate the guy — after all, he let me bottle-feed a rare baby Bengal tiger back in 1996 when I was a cub reporter for a national… » 5/15/08 1:30pm 5/15/08 1:30pm

Monkey Business

Primates — they're just like us! Following a very thorough and kinda weird study, German scientists report that female monkeys shout and make lots of noise during sex in order help male monkeys climax more quickly. It would seem as though we haven't evolved that much, huh? [Live Science] » 12/19/07 11:45am 12/19/07 11:45am