University of Chicago Professor Very Disappointed that Female Neuroscientists Aren't Sexier
Here's a thing that you should do if you're a professor at an academic conference: listen to your colleagues' presentations and meet new friends, possibly for future professional collaboration. Here's a thing that you shouldn't do if you're a professor at an academic conference: take to Facebook and publicly bitch…
Gorillas Dismantle Poachers' Traps on First Leg of World Comeback Tour
Hey, how about some slightly heartwarming news on this day of incomprehensible crap? After one of their companions was ensnared by a hunter's trap in Rwanda, it seems that young endangered gorillas are getting the last laugh. Or, uh, last terrifying jungle scream. Conservationists say a trio of juveniles in Rwanda has…
Zoo Puts Orangutan on Birth Control
A female orangutan at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo has become the first non-human primate in the US to be implanted with a human birth control device. I hope she doesn't think it's okay to just whore around all over the place now. Just because she can't get pregnant doesn't mean that Orangu-God hasn't stopped damning…
All The Cool Monkey Moms Help Their Sons Get Laid
If your idea of a hot hookup is tiptoeing down a basement staircase while the guy you just went for drinks with tells you in an urgent, husky whisper, "Shh, my mom's asleep," you're probably a muriqui, a New World species of matriarchal monkeys where mother-son proximity is the biggest turn on there is.
The Pill Makes Gorillas Horny
Zookeepers regularly administer basically the same hormonal birth control to gorillas. Findings from a limited sample show this makes female gorillas a little randy while menstruating. The more you know!
Big Cats Mimic Monkeys
Researchers have discovered that Brazil's Amazonian forests are populated by big cats - including margay, jaguars, and pumas — imitate the calls primate prey. It's the first time wild cats in the Americas have been observed being so tricky.
Are Babies At The Heart Of What Makes Us Human?
Primatologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy says that while most scholars believe our evolution was driven by the need to fight, she believes that a human baby's need for attention is what separates us from animals.
Misogyny Among Monkeys Is "Natural Behavior"
Yeah, Jack Hanna can seem a little too willfully clueless, and yeah, he's on Letterman what seems like every other week, but by god, he and Dave have a good thing going, and I just can't hate the guy — after all, he let me bottle-feed a rare baby Bengal tiger back in 1996 when I was a cub reporter for a national…
Monkey Business
Primates — they're just like us! Following a very thorough and kinda weird study, German scientists report that female monkeys shout and make lots of noise during sex in order help male monkeys climax more quickly. It would seem as though we haven't evolved that much, huh? [Live Science]
Pussy Whip
We've long suspected this: Old, fat and/or Catholic women have the hardest time getting dates. [NY Times]

