Bernie Sanders Follows Lil B on Twitter, As One Does

Lil B, the Based God, has lots of devoted followers in real life and on Twitter and one of them is running for president. For whatever reason, Lil B is among the 1,000 users that Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders is following on Twitter, under his account @BernieSanders. Is Bernie Sanders based? Not likely, but Lil… » 7/15/15 6:20pm 7/15/15 6:20pm

Scott Walker Says Gay Troop Leader Ban Protected Boy Scouts

Scott Walker—presidential candidate, governor of Wisconsin, and noted hot ham enthusiast—has spoken out against the Boy Scouts of America’s recent push to allow gay troop leaders. “I have had a lifelong commitment to the Scouts and support the previous membership policy because it protected children and advanced Scout… » 7/15/15 11:50am 7/15/15 11:50am

Scott Walker, Noted Tool, Is Trying to Axe Wisconsin's Living Wage Law

Wisconsin governor Scott Walker sacrificed a leisurely Fourth of July weekend of grill-outs and fireworks in order to sneak a variety of harmful provisions into his state’s budget. Buried in the omnibus budget bill: a law that limits the information released to the public during police shootings, as well as a… » 7/07/15 6:10pm 7/07/15 6:10pm

Marco Rubio Loves EDM and Nicki Minaj, Would Like Your Vote Now 

Newly-announced presidential hopeful Marco Rubio is like Barack Obama in many ways. Sure, he opposes Roe v. Wade and same-sex marriage, doesn’t believe humans are causing climate change, and would like to smash Obamacare to smithereens, but when it comes to lofty, experience-disguising rhetoric and hip, hip… » 4/14/15 3:15pm 4/14/15 3:15pm

Betty White Adorably Reveals Her Much-Anticipated Presidential Endorsement

Notable nonagenarian Betty White has made an exception to her habit of keeping her political views in a small locket that she never removes and told the Associated Press with what we can assume was a warm smile that she "very, very much favors" incumbent Barack Obama in the upcoming presidential election. White, who… » 5/13/12 3:30pm 5/13/12 3:30pm

How to Convince Hillary Clinton to Run for President in 2016 (Even Though She Already Said No)

Hillary Clinton told a crowd earlier today that she won't be running for President in 2016, and while she didn't come right out and say it, she sort of implied that she's tired of the unique brand of bullshit The People have flung at her during her decades-long career in the public eye. What can the hopeful masses do… » 5/07/12 11:30am 5/07/12 11:30am

Mitt Romney Inadvertently Endorses Girls By Encouraging Young People to Live Off Parents

I must admit that after Mitt Romney's victory lap speech on Tuesday night, I was impressed with the guy. Even though it was mostly substanceless political niceties balanced with a hearty dose of empty thought calories, Romney didn't appear robotic and distant. He even managed to muster some passion. But gaffe-free… » 4/27/12 6:30pm 4/27/12 6:30pm

Why in the World Would John McCain Tell Mitt Romney to Pick Sarah Palin for His Running Mate?

Today, Arizona Senator John McCain told CBS This Morning that it's time for Rick Santourm to drop out of the race for the GOP Presidential nomination so Mitt Romney can get to focusing on the important stuff — like picking Sarah Palin as his running mate. Since John McCain probably hasn't forgotten about that one time… » 4/04/12 3:40pm 4/04/12 3:40pm

Was Herman Cain's Candidacy Just One Big Book Commercial?

In light of allegations that he carried on a 13 year long extramarital affair, non-joke Presidential candidate Herman Cain has told his top aides that he's "reassessing" his campaign's future. And, given the dramatic downturn in number of copies of This is Herman Cain!: My Journey to the White House flying off the… » 11/29/11 5:25pm 11/29/11 5:25pm

Michele Bachmann Earnestly Promotes Awareness of Michele Bachmann

Can space cadet Michele Bachmann provide any intergalactic insight into the Herman Cain scandal? Yeah, no — that hope is futile. In her most recent appearance, she not only successfully avoided answering any questions, but she also managed to prevent her face from contorting into an expression of primal rage and… » 11/04/11 11:20am 11/04/11 11:20am

Are Young Women Denying The "Sexual Caste System" In The Presidential Race?

Gender and the Presidential race is a topic that's been on the media's mind today, what with Hillary's recent popularity plummet and her "crying" incident. Gloria Steinem, the godmother of second wave feminism, weighs in on Hillary and womanhood in an op-ed in the NY Times: "Gender is probably the most restricting… » 1/08/08 2:00pm 1/08/08 2:00pm